Days 57 to 60 – Besties

Living Full-On Every DayThis post will be in bullet points, because things are a bit full on to write a loquacious one. You see, today I’ve got to drive from San Francisco to Oregon, and tomorrow I’ve got several kick-ass Ziji client calls, then a photo shoot (for the cover or a local magazine! Yeehaw!) then a Ziji Up! Workshop in the eve, and finally, I’ll record a short video on confidence for a colleague’s uber popular website. Whew! So whaddya think…bullet points OK? One full-on event for each of the last few days

• Day 57 – created an awesome teleseminar for April on adapting to change. I can’t wait to get on the phone with more Ziji peeps and talk about skills for Jedi mind juju to get through times when it feels like you’re swimming rapids in life. PS: it’ll be free so can an eye out for details next month

• Day 58 – I honored my needs and didn’t go out late with friends, even though I really really wanted to. Instead, I went to an amazing workshop during the day, then had a lovely evening of tapas with my “lil’ sis” and fell asleep by 10pm after sending a mushy text to my man. It was a sahweet slumber;)

• Day 59 – drove to San Francisco and actually enjoyed the views of Mt. Shasta and the valleys and sunset along the way (instead of multi-tasking), and did a lot of catching up with people I hadn’t spoken to in awhile. And i also got more clear about the upcoming FullOn365.com logo (creating is so fun! Especially with people you dig;)

• Day 60 – had an amazing evening with two of my besties at Sol Food (amazing Puerto Rican cuisine) then hot tubbing under the stars, then champagne and chick flick. I slept sooooo well;)

Girlfriends kick ass.

Note: Ana Neff is a personal life coach, guide and FreedomJunkie™ She helps individuals awaken their lives of freedom and personal success with confidence, clarity, self-love, and passion. Her monthly Jedi Juice ™ eZine goes out to hundreds of subscribers. Her Full-On 365 blog posts stem from her commitment to living full-on, every day, for 365 days in a row. If you are ready to take your life and your world to the next level, you can learn more about her coaching programs and download  her FREE Getting Clear Guide by signing up at anaverzone.com! Sign up for her next FREE Jedi Juice Training call at anaverzone.com/jedi-juice

Days 48 and 49 – Being Oversensitive Sucks

Yesterday was a mellow day of sleeping, fixing up the yurt, then eating pizza with friends as we watched footage from our epic weekend (see below). There was such an awesome sense of community all weekend, and it was nice to fade into the rest of the week with a nice eve with amigos. It would have been even better had I not had my little uber-sensitive gremlin come up again. It had been awhile, so I was taken off guard. Can I pretty please blame it on my new birth control pills? Arrrgh.

I got all sensitive about how hard I was having to work the past few months and as a result, how I wasn’t as fit as I normally am (because of so many various reasons that we have all made up in our heads about that one before) and not being as, well, fun because I didn’t have as much energy as usual. I did that whole “I’m going to compare myself to other people” crap and that is never a good idea. Then I blamed my partner for comparing me, which he totally wasn’t (You should have seen me try to pull off that one! Good thing he’s on my gremlin’s* ass). Then I felt shitty about all that. Then I felt shitty about feeling shitty because deep down I know my life is sahweet and life is too short for feeling shitty!

Then I did the full on thing and said to my partner, gulp, “I’m sorry for freaking out,” and totally owned  my crap. Then today I did my mental Jedi juju stuff and told my gremlin to get the fuck out of my head and heart and let me live the bad ass life I am destined to be living. Yes, sometimes you need to be that harsh with The Gremlin. Sometimes it is good to say something sweet, like “Thank you for trying to protect me, but I don’t need that anymore.” And sometimes you just need to tell it to shut the f#*k up (I am trying to minimize my swearing for my mother…at least for this paragraph).

*What’s a gremlin? A fancy coaching term for it is also The Saboteur. The gremlins/saboteurs are the voices that tell you you are not capable or deserving enough to be happy and fulfilled. Like when one of my Freedom Junkie coaching clients says she wants to write a book, her gremlin says it is too expensive, or that she has nothing original to say. Another client’s gremlin tells her she can’t possibly have a career with her art because that is not “realistic.” One of mine (and apparently of many friends and clients) is that we aren’t worthy of love because if someone really knew who we were, they’d realize we aren’t perfect.

WTF! How crazy negative is that??!!! Very. And we ALL have them. Watch. Just for a day. Or an hour, even. You’ll notice them a lot. But don’t get down on yourself about it. It’s the way our brain works, and it is re-wireable. And you’re not broken because you have them. You are human!

It is best to learn about and acknowledge your gremlins, maybe even personify them (like have them look like the mean schoolteacher or a troll) and then come up with a system to shut them up. Where saboteurs speak from is fear, NOT TRUTH. You MUST remember this. NOT TRUTH.

When you hear a voice of TRUTH, it is very different. It speaks in a compassionate and clear voice. It is not one of fear or anger or belittling.

And know that saboteurs come up right when you are about to do some seriously bad-ass living, like right when you are about to be totally content in your relationship, or right when you are about to feel confident enough to quit your job, or right when you are about to come completely out of debt. Or right when you just had an epically fun weekend with your boyfriend and awesome friends skiing in the Alaskan backcountry, for example. They often cause us to (duh) sabotage our own happiness at these crucial moments.

So get out of your own way, and tell your gremlins to shut up so you can get on living you awesome life. It can be tricky. Trust me: this morning, when I decided not to drop into my saboteur’s story, I had to dig deep to believe that I was not hearing truth in those words, and I had to dig deep to come up with what I knew to be true. It was more difficult than usual because I have been so tired. But thankfully, I’ve had years of practice, which makes it much easier over time (I promise!). If you need some help with your own gremlins, let me know! A team often helps;)

For now, I am going to resume my bad ass life and head out for another ski. Did I mention the sun sets at 8:15 in Anchorage these days. Supah sahweet!

PS: As promised, here is more footage from the past few days:

http://youtu.be/tHlzDWSaCtU

Above is a video of one of our earlier runs

Below is a video of Tony and his dog, Pup Pup, on the first run off the summit of HaleBop (after you’ve admired Tony’s moves, rewind and watch Pup Pup run in his fresh tracks…awesome!)

http://youtu.be/mU_B1wiBo80

Note: Ana Neff is known as the Freedom Mentor™. She helps individuals awaken their lives, their businesses, and their success with radiant inner confidence. Her monthly Ziji Up! eZine goes out to hundreds of subscribers. If you are ready to take your life and your world to the next level, you can learn more about her coaching programs and download her FREE Getting Clear Guide by visiting www.FreedomJunkie.com

 

Days 44 to 47 – Rest and Backcountry Skiing (not an oxymoron!)

Yeehaw! When you need to rest, rest. It’s so much easier living full on when your have the energy to do it. I did NOTHING Days 44 and 45 except sleep in, get a massage, read, and drive to a sweet backcountry Alaskan powder hut. I went to bed those nights and slept HARD.

The day after driving to the hut, we all slept in because the shutters were still on the hut windows blocking out the light. Once up (at 10??!!!) the 8 of us (plus two dogs) made an epic breakfast of eggs, coffee with Bailey’s Irish cream (for breakfast?! Yes! St. Patrick’s Day!). We then donned our wigs to eat breakfast and head out to ski. But before that we had a morning work party and chopped wood, brought it back to the cabin with sleds, and put in a new door on the hut.

After all that we hiked up epic backcountry terrain (BTW if you’re ever cold put a freakin’ wig on your head. They are WAY warmer than hats!) and skied down amazing fresh powder. And I mean AMAZING. Plus the views were epic, the weather was spectacular, and the company was hilarious. Not to mention it was awesome to have two other women along the trip to balance out all that testosterone.

I am not a big skier. When I was younger it was too expensive and when I was older it seemed scary to fall going so fast. But I’ve slowly grown into it after I picked up a pair of tele skis, and am digging spending a lot more time on snow this season;) Plus, Alaskan powder makes in much less scary to fall!

I have a cool videos of us skiing (with me singing really bad operatic soundtrack on one), and will post here in an update. In the meantime, all I’ve got are the wig pictures above.

When I speak of resting, I can’t describe how key it was for me to take time for myself and listen to my body. Rather than forcing myself to go go go
the first day of skiing, I decided to sit atop a ridge as everyone did a lap up and down. I sat there and took in the views, the utterly beautiful silence, the glistening sparks of snow in the sky that looked like fairy dust, and felt the sun warming my face. Granted I was wearing five jackets but it was surprisingly warm on that Alaskan ridge in winter. It felt so good to REST. Plus at the end of the day I wasn’t too tired to don the wigs again and laugh for a few hours. I really was tired at the start. I could feel it intensely. Hiking was so hard. It was barely fun that day…but that all changes soon!

By the end of the day there were 9 of us and 4 dogs in the little hut. That wasn’t quick breeding – we just had more visitors. It felt so cozy falling asleep with every inch of the hut – including the kitchen floor – strewn with my friends and their pups. Even though there was no running water, we cooked on a wood-stove, and heated the place only with wood, it was relatively light work with so many friends.

The next morning was an earlier rise. But I felt fantastic after having a relatively restful day. So fantastic that I boot-packed (aka hiked) up to the summit of Hail Bob peak with everyone even though there was NO WAY I was going to ski down the steep corniced chute from the top (at this point in my skiing life, at least). I instead climbed back down, which many of the skiers said would be scarier for them than skiing down. Just goes to show its all relative!

We got back and there was an Alaskan moose meat chili ready for us after slow cooking on the wood stovetop all day. We all packed up (at this point there were 12 of us and 5 dogs) and I managed to have kept track of all my wigs (thank you, Ashland friends, for lending me wigs for this event;).

We toasted my 8 years of being cancer-free from renal cell carcinoma, gave group hugs, and headed back to Anchorage. That was after falling flat on my back and ass on ice as we packed up the truck. THAT was the most painful part of the whole trip! I always seem to injure myself in the front country.

Pretty full on for a weekend. But that’s kind of how it goes in Alaska;)

Note: Ana Neff is known as the Ziji™ Mentor. She helps individuals awaken their lives, their businesses and their success with radiant inner confidence. Her monthly Ziji Up! eZine goes out to hundreds of subscribers. If you are ready to take your life and your world to the next level, you can learn more about her coaching programs and download her FREE Getting Clear Guide by visiting www.ZijiLife.com

Days 35 to 39 – Full-On Busy!

20120311-182528.jpgThese past few days have been a whirlwind! Hence no posts in four days;) In any event, this week was filled with crazy logistics and crazy fun. I had to further purge my house since it is in the market now (Yeeeehaw!) and there has been an incredible release as I de-clutter and let go.

I went through The Box again (see previous post on this) and got rid of even more stuff. Ah…sweet love letters are hard to chuck, but oh well.

I packed up dozens of books that I thought I’d read over the next few months but deep down I knew I wouldn’t. Then I found a picture of my dad who died in 2008, and it was from when he was 22. It was torn because I hadn’t stored it well, and I cried thinking of him and how stupid I was to be so careless with his photo.

I went pack rafting for the first time ever and it was super scary at first but I ended up laughing and yahooing the whole time. It was incredible! Epic! Gorgeous! And I wore a tabletop outside for the first time since autumn. And we got pulled over for having 4 people and 4 boats and a packraft in a minivan, but we got let off. If like to think it was primarily because we were funny and charming but Nick, nearly 60, swears its because he was old enough to be our dads and the cop, seeing him crouched in the back wedged between the boats, figured we couldn’t be doing anything that bad if he was with us. That’ll work.

Then I had a freak out that I was going through all these major changes and I felt distant from my man. So I told him I needed him to be more sweet to me and he stepped up, also pointing out he’s been home only two hours each day due to all the work he’s had, and that’s probably why I was feeling the way I was…not cuz he wasn’t being sweet. Alright. True dat.

And I worked on my awesome Ziji Up! Mastery Program that will be starting in a couple of weeks and got über excited as I dove into all the fantastic material we were going to cover.

Now I’m going to hike w my man for a bit because he leaves for Alaska tomorrow…and I get to meet him there in three days! Psyched!

So, that’s why I haven’t posted in awhile. I guess that’s a good sign that I’m living Full On;)

Note: Ana Neff is known as the Freedom™ Mentor. She helps individuals awaken their lives, their businesses and their success with radiant inner confidence. Her monthly Ziji Up! eZine goes out to hundreds of subscribers. If you are ready to take your life and your world to the next level, you can learn more about her coaching programs and download her FREE Getting Clear Guide by visiting www.FreedomJunkie.com

Days 22, 23, and 24 – Waterfalls and Road Trips

Hey hey, what a great few days! Check out my waterfall hike by clicking here. I ducked behind the Silver Creek waterfall for a morning wake-up call. Supah fun, and before coffee, even!

Full On activities include continuing to create my program for building confidence (more on that as I near completion…I’m really excited about it!). I want to share the system I’ve developed over the years with others and I can’t wait any longer! I need to help people build the confidence they need to take the risks that will enrich their life and allow them to live their passions. NOW! It takes a while to articulate the steps, and I’m a perfectionist so I have to keep letting go of some things to make it happen, but progress is being made;)

I also stopped and took hours out of a day off to connect with those I’ve been less-than-available to over the past few busy weeks. That felt good – to give time to people important to me. I hope they felt seen and heard and cared for.

Now, after that waterfall hike and a delicious PDX breakfast of eggs Benedict florentine style, we head to Eastern Washington on our brief road trip.

I LOVE ROAD TRIPS!

Days 11 & 12 – Powder and Baby Talk

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We had driven to Durango to visit some friends since the storm had not quite yet hit Telluride. It was a great time, and we had some heart to heart about what it was like for our friends’ lives after they had their daughter.

I appreciated their full-on honesty and how they admitted that while they love their daughter, it definitely changed their lives in way they had not imagined that was very difficult. The girl’s mom admitted she was never the type to HAVE to have a kid in the first place. They founds it extremely hard on their relationship and in the other passions in life.

I know some will be pissed at them for even sharing these feelings, judging somehow that this is simply what we “all know” happens when you have a kid. Still, I appreciated how they shared this complex of feelings and still were amazing parents. How they honored their passions of the outdoors and travel and trying to still have them met as parents.

It’s complex. And I know that while I don’t have a kid now (but will hopefully have one eventually!), in the meantime I will fully appreciate the free time I have alone and with my partner while it’s still here, and not take any of it for granted!

I have a feeling I’ll write more on this later.

In any event, I felt I showed up fully as a friend by driving to meet ALL my friends with kids at their place the past few days, sparing them loading the kiddos into the car, even though it added hours of driving to my days. I brought them wine and food and yumminess and we laughed into the wee hours of the morning. And hopefully they felt a bit pampered as parents that day.

Oh…and did I mention powder days in Telluride? Yeeeehaw!