You know how sometimes you feel tired “for no apparent reason,” or maybe you want to check out, or run away from it all?
Me too. The thing is, these things are all signs that we might be at a personal “growth edge.”
While we often hear about “pushing through the discomfort” when it comes to personal growth, there’s something more important:
FIRST learning about how we react to challenging moments on our path. Identifying our growth edge behaviors – the habits, tendencies, emotional reactions that emerge when we’re facing discomfort and growth.
By doing this, we can start to identify early on that we’re at a growth edge – so we don’t freak out wondering why we’re acting or feeling this way.
We also learn much more about ourselves and how we respond to challenges and, in turn, make more intentional and empowered choices.
A “growth edge” is when we’re stretching beyond our comfort zone and we’re being challenged to evolve – emotionally, mentally, or even spiritually.
It’s also where old patterns and ways of thinking no longer serve us, and new possibilities are on the horizon…which – since it’s unfamiliar – can be scary AF, and leads to these growth edge behaviors.
We want this stage to be over with yesterday because of the discomfort that arises. But rushing through this stage can cause us to miss valuable insights to help us make progress on our path: how we behave and respond during these moments of growth.
Some of the signs we’re at a growth edge are:
/ /Procrastination: This is a big one for me. I put off my podcast for TWO YEARS because I was afraid of all the ways it would stretch me and all the discomfort I’d feel.
// Perfectionism: Trying to control every detail or outcome in an effort to avoid feeling vulnerable or exposed.
// Self-sabotage: The day I was supposed to record my first four podcast episodes, I lost my voice. Just out of the blue. No other symptoms. Not bad luck. Self-sabotage. We might notice we engage in behaviors that undermine our progress, whether through negative self-talk, not following through on commitments, over-drinking the night before a big interview, or not preparing for an important presentation.
// Emotional Reactivity: I often tell people that if they have strong feelings of resistance or feel particularly sensitive around a topic – thinking things like “I would never do that!” or “That’s definitely not me!” then it’s a sign to explore this area further.
// Sometimes we also want to run away. Leave. Quit. Withdraw. This can also look like dissociating – checking out.
// Fatigue, brain fog, and even mild dissociation can sometimes be signs, especially when the mind and body are adjusting to new challenges or internal shifts.
The behaviors we exhibit when at a growth edge can tell us a lot about how we are and what we believe about ourselves. They can show us where we’re still holding ourselves back, where fear or old patterns might be running the show. And by identifying them, we create an opportunity to choose differently.
I do want to mention here that while these are all signs that you might be at a growth edge, they can also indicate other issues like fatigue, burnout, stress. Check out this week’s full podcast episode for more on how to tell the difference between these. I also dive into some things we can do to help us identify if our behaviors are because of a growth edge, or if it’s something else.
Bottom line: Recognizing these behaviors isn’t about shaming or blaming ourselves. It’s about getting curious.
We can ask ourselves things like, “Why do I tend to withdraw when things get tough?” or “Why do I feel the need to be perfect before I move forward?”
Here are three general questions I like to ask whenever I find myself at a growth edge and I want to shift my focus to the behaviors that are arising:
// How am I reacting to this discomfort?
// What habits or patterns are showing up for me right now?
// What does this reveal about my beliefs and fears?
Knowing how to identify our growth edge behaviors helps us to also identify that we are experiencing these for a reason: we’re at a growth edge! They aren’t happening randomly.
Inquiries into our growth edge behaviors lead us to deeper self-awareness, and awareness precedes change.
Instead of automatically reacting with fear or resistance, we can pause, reflect, and make new choices.
Awareness gives us a choice – and choice gives us the power to intentionally shape our growth.
Remember, it’s not just about getting through—it’s about growing with awareness, intention, and compassion for yourself – and others – along the way.
You will learn:
// What a growth edge is – and how knowing how we react to one helps us more effectively move through them.
// How to identify our growth edge behaviors and why learning this is THE place to start
// How to know the difference between a growth edge and burnout or fatigue
// Common growth edge behaviors you might see in yourself and others
// What to do once we identify our growth edge behaviors
Resources:
// Episode 44: The Power of the Pause
// Episode 199: What Is Liminality? The Space Between Transitions
// Episode 211: Navigating Our Edges
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