Have you noticed that many of us on the spiritual path have struggled with feeling like truly belong?
I know for myself, when it comes to the spiritual path, there can be a sense of not quite fitting in with the society around me. If we’ve found a spiritual community, our ideas within that community can seem rebellious as we question if certain beliefs or paradigms feel authentic for us {jt’s why I started this podcast},
Plenty of times I’ve thought about just escaping into the woods and living out the rest of my days doing my own thing, hanging with the more-than-human world.
In a way, this makes sense, right? As wanderers and seekers, we’re usually living, experimenting, and exploring with these realms that are beyond the conventional ways of being and seeing.
Because we’re searching for meaning, peace, and a sense of purpose, we can sometimes feel disconnected from mainstream society around us – a society often caught in materialism, productivity, and more shallow, superficial relationships.
That feeling can feel isolating, but the thing is, paradoxically, the sense of not belonging is actually an essential part of our journey toward realizing that we DO belong in ways more profound than we initially thought.
One reason we don’t always recognize our belonging is because of this illusion of separation that many of us have. We grow up learning to see ourselves as individuals, separate from others. This idea of separateness is reinforced in so many ways – media, social structures, even our own internalized beliefs about what it means to be “successful” or “worthy.”
But from a Buddhist perspective, the notion of separateness is actually a fundamental misunderstanding. Teachings on interdependence remind us that everything is connected – every action, thought, and being is part of a larger web of life.
Here’s the thing: our differences aren’t evidence of our separation. They’re expressions of the diverse and complex and intricate web of existence that we are all connected to. And our uniqueness is part of what enriches this web.
When we feel disconnected, it can be helpful to turn to the natural world – to oceans, sunsets, big granite boulders, rivers, the sky – and remember that we belong here, too.
I remember my first wilderness solo when I was just 18, and how I had a deep eco-awakening on this experience where a lone wildflower in a meadow sent me the message that I – a HUMAN – belong in the wild. Just like that single flower belonged exactly where it was, with no other flowers around it.
When we remember that we aren’t separate, this shift in perspective can be profoundly grounding, reminding us that no matter where we are or what we’re going through, we belong to life itself, exactly as we are right now.
I want to point out here that feeling like an outsider is also a necessary part of the spiritual journey itself. It is a sign of growth, because as we let go of societal expectations and ego-driven desires, it makes sense that we will find ourselves moving through periods of loneliness, or feeling like we don’t belong.
As we come into greater alignment with our true nature, we discover that we belong more fully than ever before, because we are living from a place of authenticity!
When we feel safe to explore this feeling of not belonging, we can discover that the very things that may have us feeling so different are the gifts that we need to bring back to our people and the more-than-human world.
So instead of trying to fit into society’s mold, we can see and celebrate the ways that our uniqueness enriches the collective web. Then our journey of belonging isn’t just about fitting in. It’s about transforming our differences into these gifts that serve the Whole.
Another thing I want to remind you of is that your belonging is freaking inherent. It’s a given. You don’t have to earn it or evolve yourself or grow. You belong as you are. It’s only our conditioned mind that doubts that. The mind that has been conditioned to perceive ourselves as separate from others and the greater web of all that is.
So when we can quiet the noise of societal expectations and listen deeply to the soft, still voice of our own hearts, we realize that we truly belong, just as we are.
Not only do we belong, but our presence here is meaningful and necessary and meant to BE. Our differences are needed by our community to enrich it and help it evolve and expand. In this way, our spiritual journey isn’t just a search for personal enlightenment, but a homecoming—a recognition that we are always already home, and that our belonging is deeper than we ever imagined.
You Will Learn:
// Why we often feel we don’t belong while on our spiritual path… and why that means we’re headed in the right direction!
// How our perceived differences that seem to isolate us are the exact gifts that we need to bring to our people
// How modern society teaches us that we’re separate, when the reality is we are deeply interconnected
// Why YOU are absolutely needed to help our society evolve and expand.
Resources:
// Episode 115: Making Quality New Friends
// Episode 124: “Who Am I?” Loneliness and Our Self-Concept
// Episode 210: Spiritual Friends and How to Make Them
// It’s not too late to join the No Regrets course! Our first virtual retreat is NEXT week, so you’ve got time to snag your spot and the awesome bonuses – a NEW bonus is access to the most popular Freedom School module – on RELATIONSHIPS – where we explore the most common barriers to a healthy relationship. We also dive into people pleasing and boundaries and how to not need others to act a certain way so we can feel better. It’s a GAME CHANGER and opens up so much more freedom in all our relationships: romantic, intimate, friendships, work relationships, challenges with family members…trust me.
Head over to TheNoRegretsCourse.com and join us NOW so you can dive into the course material with instant access, and hang out with us on the virtual retreat next week!
// If you’re new to the squad, grab the Rebel Buddhist Toolkit I created at RebelBuddhist.com. It has all you need to start creating a life of more freedom, adventure, and purpose. You’ll also get access to the Rebel Buddhist private group, and tune in every Wednesday as I go live with new inspiration and topics.
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