Today I want to talk about something that keeps coming up when I meet people who are starting—or restarting—their spiritual journey. It’s this quiet – but persistent – grief: Why didn’t I start this sooner?
Maybe you’ve felt it too. Whether you’re in Your 20s or 30s, in retirement, midlife, or whatever age, there can be a nagging feeling like you’ve missed the boat on this whole “spiritual awakening” thing.
Life gets busy – career, a partner, moving, maybe growing a family – and now you’re standing here staring at what’s left of the journey, wondering WTF have I been doing all the time? What if it’s too late to dive into something more deeply?
Let me say this as clearly as possible: it’s not too late.
The fact that you’re asking these questions now is a gift. You’ve lived. You’ve seen the beautiful and the heartbreaking. You’ve done hard things, you’ve suffered (likely deeply) and, let’s be honest, probably made a few mistakes.
All of that life experience – every joy, every challenge, even time you were brought to your knees – has made you ripe for this moment.
But here’s the trap many of us fall into: we think spiritual growth is like climbing a ladder. Step one meditate for 20 years – step two do a long retreat – step three… then enlightenment!
It’s actually more like a spiral. We come back to the same questions and insights more than once, but each time with a little more depth and perspective.
So wherever (and whenever) we start is exactly how it’s supposed to be.
And by the way, this feeling of grief about having waited to dedicate yourself deeply to your spiritual path can happen at any age. I’ve worked with people in their 60s and 70s who feel this, but there are also people in their 20s and 30s who wish they made different choices and feel they’re late to the spiritual party. .
All of that is real, and it deserves some compassion. We can’t just ignore the grief.
But the point I want to make here is that spirituality isn’t a race. It’s not about checking boxes or hitting milestones by a certain age or life event. In fact, one of the first lessons you will learn on the path is that there is “nowhere to get to.”
The whole point is to just wake up to this moment, however messy or incomplete it feels.
And let’s be honest: those years weren’t wasted.
You were busy learning what the world looks like, how relationships work, and how fragile and precious life can be and the nature of suffering.
That’s the raw material for spiritual growth. That’s where the rubber hits the road. In fact, without those challenges, progress on the path would be stalled.
Our grief is part of the journey itself, and proof about how much we care. But we can’t let it keep us stuck in regret.
One thing we can discover as we begin (or revive) our spiritual journey is what “progress” even means for us. Is it being able to sit cross-legged for hours? Or learning to pause before lashing out? Maybe instead of hours of meditation, your progress is a deep breath while you wait for the coffee to brew. Or a quiet prayer as you watch the sunset.
Spiritual growth often looks like tiny, actually really unglamorous changes in how we live day-to-day.
Like oh! I may have lashed out at my husband but it happens way less than it used to:)
There’s a Zen saying:
The best time to plant a tree was 20 years ago. The second best time is now.
Rebel one, you’re ready now.
Every heartbreak, every mistake, every moment of ecstasy has been your teacher. You’ve been on the path all along, even if you didn’t realize it.
And honestly? Some people who start early never really start. They might have all the tools and experiences—the books, the practices, the retreats—but the lessons don’t actually sink in.
You? You are ready.
You’re awake enough to notice the longing in your heart, the pull toward something deeper. That’s the real beginning.
It’s not too late. It never was.
You will learn:
// Why it’s never too late for you to dive into your spiritual journey
// What we think spirituality and the path are and what they actually look like
// Ways we can work through the grief that comes from wishing we had started our journey sooner
// How to find our own definition for progress on our journey
Resources:
// Episode 78: Grief and Loss
// Episode 102: Start Close In
// Episode 209: Ripening and the Inevitability of Our Awakening
// If you’re new to the squad, grab the Rebel Buddhist Toolkit I created at RebelBuddhist.com. It has all you need to start creating a life of more freedom, adventure, and purpose. You’ll also get access to the Rebel Buddhist private group, and tune in every Wednesday as I go live with new inspiration and topics.
// Want something more self-paced with access to weekly group support and getting coached by yours truly? Check out Freedom School – the community for ALL things related to freedom, inside and out. This month is all about mastering emotional wellness, and just because we’re already halfway to December doesn’t mean it’s too late… right? 😉 Learn more at JoinFreedomSchool.com. I can’t wait to see you there!
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