I love winter. I love the coziness, the quiet, the slowing down. The inner exploration that the darkness invites. I love that I can lean on my friends to bring me light and warmth with dance parties and live music.
But living in Alaska, my body isn’t made for THAT much darkness. Just a few hours a day of weak sunlight that doesn’t even feel warm isn’t enough for this Filipina 😉
So right now, I’m healing and revitalizing in Hawai’i – something I do often this time of the year – and I’m surprised that I find myself missing the darkness! I can feel my body longing for that hibernation phase, but just in a smaller, gentler dose.
I mean, I always adapt to the brightness and warmth, and I’m excited to go diving with the family, snorkel, hike, and camp.
AND I still find myself waking up at 5am local time to spend a couple of hours alone in the dark and staying up at night after everyone else goes to sleep just to have some quiet solitude in the night.
A little ironic, right?
I think of this from Wendell Berry:
“To go in the dark
with a light you know
is to know the light.
To know the dark, go dark.
Go without sight,
and find that the dark, too,
blooms and sings.”
I think the “light” that Berry is talking about is the inner resources we lean on in tough times – the steady presence of something we trust. Our ziji.
It’s about carrying what we already know into uncertainty. It’s about trusting our ziji – that radiant inner confidence that’s always there, even when things feel impossible or overwhelming. It might not erase the uncertainty, but it will help us trust ourselves to move through it.
Wendell Berry also writes to know the dark, go dark, fully and completely.
This is often the tricker part, right? Most of us spend so much energy avoiding inner and outer darnkess. Grief, loneliness, fear… we’ve been trained to escape it at all costs.
But the truth is the dark isn’t the problem. It’s our resistance to it that makes it unbearable.
Bill Plotkin once taught us a practice called “Befriending the Dark.” He invited us to explore sit in the wilderness, alone, in the night, with darkness—both literal and metaphorical—without running from it. To really feel the aliveness of the dark.
In practicing this, I learned that the dark isn’t empty. It’s full of life, sound, and movement. And yes, it sometimes feels scary, and our minds love to make it scarier, but when we stop fighting it, we start to see it as a part of life’s wholeness.
The darkness is where deep transformation happens. It’s where we face our fears, our demons, our insecurities, and the primal fear of feeling without seeing.
Buddhist teachings remind us that life isn’t about escaping discomfort. It’s about staying present with whatever shows up. When we walk into the dark with our light – our ziji – we start to trust life in a whole new way.
Darkness and light aren’t enemies. They’re partners in this wild dance of life. One makes the other visible. One holds space for the other to shine. The dark, too, blooms and sings.
So with the Winter Solstice coming (for those of us in the Northern Hemisphere, at least), how can we honor both the light and the dark?
I encourage you to take a moment to pause, reflect on the light you carry, and open yourself to the gifts of the dark.
May this Solstice be a time of connection – to yourself, your light, and to the gifts that the dark can bring.
You will learn:
// How to use your ziji – radiant inner confidence – as your own light in times of darkness and uncertainty
// Why it’s important to embrace the darkness within and without, and stop resisting
// What Buddhism teaches us about embracing discomfort
// Some ways we can connect ourselves to the gifts of the dark and the light already within us
Resources:
// Episode 64: Cultivating Radiant Inner Confidence – Ziji
// Episode 145: Your Wild Mind – The West and Our Shadows
// Episode 233: The Indomitable Human Spirit – You’ve Got it in You
// If you’re new to the squad, grab the Rebel Buddhist Toolkit I created at RebelBuddhist.com. It has all you need to start creating a life of more freedom, adventure, and purpose. You’ll also get access to the Rebel Buddhist private group, and tune in every Wednesday as I go live with new inspiration and topics.
// Want something more self-paced with access to weekly group support and getting coached by yours truly? Check out Freedom School – the community for ALL things related to freedom, inside and out. We dive into taking wisdom and applying it to our daily lives, with different topics every month. Learn more at JoinFreedomSchool.com. I can’t wait to see you there!
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