Ep. 245: KINDfulness

In an effort to mitigate the unsettling and upending effects of this week, I created this episode to be a motivating reminder of the potent ways that kindness can have an impact in our world and our day-to-day lives – for us, for others, and for the world around us. 

 

KINDfulness.

 

“This term blends two important practices – kindness and mindfulness – into a way of being present in the moment, not just for our own peace of mind, but also with the intention to make a positive impact on the world around us. Our people, our communities, and the more-than-human world.


Kindfulness isn’t about grand gestures, just as mindfulness isn’t only about intense samadhi experiences. It’s about the very real, small, everyday acts of kindness that can change everything for someone else, often without us even knowing.”

 

I remember once in grad school, I was pretty broke and I had to catch a cab back from getting groceries in San Francisco because I had missed the last bus. I had a huge exam to study for and it was late, so I was stressed and irritable.

 

Somehow, I still found it in me to connect with my taxi driver, even though I was so caught up in my suffering (it helped that cell phones weren’t such a focal point back then). I shot the shit with him as we asked about each others’ lives. He told me about his family, we made jokes… and when we got to my place, his kind heart didn’t charge me. He said I was kind and it was his gift to me.

 

I thanked him profusely and went inside. I put my groceries down and the impact of his kindness sunk in. I found myself crying. I was SO fucking stressed out and overwhelned. I didn’t realize how much I needed this small act of kindness to shift my perspective, and lhow much the little kindness I could muster could also have an impact.

 

So kindfulness is about walking into the world in a more vulnerable way, too, with a heart wide open, aware of the impact we might have, even when we don’t expect it. I don’t think the cab driver knew how deeply his act landed in my heart. But he knew it would be an act of kindness in my day, I think. And that mattered.

 

When we can look at the world through a lens where we realize that our tiniest actions, even just our compassionate, non-judgmental presence, can carry more weight than we might ever fully understand and can touch a heart, we might be a little more kindful with our actions.

 

I read a story in the New Yorker of a man who was on the Golden Gate Bridge intending to jump. He told himself that if one person would smile at him as he was walking across the bridge, he wouldn’t jump.

 

Just one kind gesture of a smile would have changed the trajectory of his life.

 

But when no one smiled, he jumped. He miraculously lived to tell the story, but he jumped.

 

In a time when the world feels more divided, more chaotic, more challenging than ever, kindfulness becomes even more important, right?

 

These are the moments when we need to remember that it’s not only the big events that change lives, but the small, consistent ways we show up for one another.

 

In these times when suffering us so widespread, we might get overwhelmed at not being able to do all we want to do for others, so it’s important to remember the little acts of kindness that can also help ground + connect us. To remember that we are in this together and that we are not separate. That no matter how hard things get, we are all “walking each other home,” as Ram Dass would say.

 

We walk each other home in the gentle, compassionate way we show up; in the tiniest ways that weave together love, compassion, kindness and care in our communities.

 

These days, kindfulness is also a radical shift in how we show up in the world. It’s believing that every interaction is an opportunity to create change, that each moment holds the potential for transformation and connection if we choose to engage with others through a lens of compassion, awareness, and kindness.

 

It’s the understanding that our actions, no matter how small, can ripple outward and touch lives in ways we may never fully understand.

 

And here’s the thing: kindfulness isn’t just a practice. It’s the lens through which we experience and engage in life and – inevitably – at some point, in a potentially significant moment for someone else.

 

When we are grounded in kindfulness, we’re more likely to recognize those fleeting, but super potent, moments that have the potential to change the course of another being’s day, or even their life, and be transformative.

 

We might not be able to change the world with one smile, but we can definitely change a life. A moment.

 

A piece of the healing we all need.

 

Kindfulness is going beyond being present for our own peace of mind – which includes attachment to the outcome of our actions – and being open to the world and others in a way that’s more compassionate, kind, and real. It’s about staying awake in our lives, tuning into what’s happening right in front of us.

 

And often, kindfulness isn’t even about doing. It’s about BEING.

 

Being right here, right now, and trusting that at the most basic level, our attuned presence is enough. In these times, being truly present is a really rare gift we can give to others AND ourselves.

 

The world is loud, inside and out. It’s filled with noise, ads, messages to make you want more, need more… filled with anxiety, with uncertainty, with closed hearts. We are surrounded by greed, hatred and delusion. Being a gift of presence to another in this way is more important than ever.

 

Kindfulness isn’t just for our own peace of mind. It’s for the pulsating vulnerable messy world around us. And it’s exactly what we need to show up for in these times.

 

We may never fully know the depth of someone’s pain or struggle, but through our small acts of kindness, we can offer them the space to feel seen, heard, and cared for, if only for a moment.

 

And wouldn’t we all like somma that?

 

You will learn:

 

// What KINDfulness means, and why it’s important in our daily practice

// Stories of KINDfulness that touch the heart

// Why if we want to be “selfish,” we should be kind

// How tiny acts of kindfulness affects us, those around us, and the more-than-human world

// How being kindful is actually a radical act in these times



Resources:

 

// Episode 130: Generosity – Pillars of Happiness, Part 1

 

// Episode 162: Lessons from Ram Dass – Walking Each Other Home

 

// Episode 190: Islands of Sanctuary – Being a Refuge for Your People

 

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