This week I want to talk about something that tends to get buried under the weight of our hyper-productive, hyper-distracted, hyper-everything culture: Safety, stillness, and connection.
These should not be things you have to earn or be “lucky” enough to have experienced. They’re your birthright.
I know it doesn’t always feel that way. For some of us, it never has. Maybe stillness feels impossible because the moment you stop moving, the ghosts of the past come a-knockin’. Maybe every time you reach for connection, an old survival instinct pulls you back.
But those instincts and patterns are not who you are. They’re who you had to become to survive. And survival is not the same as living!
If you were raised in an environment where safety was inconsistent – maybe from trauma, neglect, or just the subtle but constant undercurrent of instability – you’ve likely learned to adapt by becoming hyper-independent or hyper-vigilant, always reading the room and anticipating every shift in energy.
When we’ve spent years in survival mode, stillness can feel like danger, because the moment we slow down, the nervous system freaks out. Or the only time we experienced stillness was in the context of trauma (think: freeze mode). Or our house was chaotic 24-7. Our body thinks that we’re vulnerable with stillness, so we have to keep moving.
And connection? That might have become a minefield. Trusting others can feel impossible when your nervous system believes that people = danger. Plus, our culture doesn’t exactly encourage deep, meaningful connections, right? Many of us don’t know our neighbors, and spend way too much time with digital connecting.
But here’s the thing: Our nervous systems weren’t designed to live in a constant state of tension. They was designed to move fluidly between activation and rest. Between engagement and solitude.
You were built for safety, stillness, and connection. Not as luxuries or rewards, but as your baseline.
So then, how do we begin to unlearn the patterns that have kept us from what is already ours?
We can start by telling ourselves the truth – that we were born for safety, stillness, and connection. Even if we don’t believe it, saying it to ourselves is still important.
Learning our body’s language and redefining what safety feels like are also important. Sometimes it’s hard to hear what your body is trying to say to you when your nervous system is constantly in overdrive. Plus we don’t even recognize what safety feels like. So we can slow down and listen to our body while re-learning what true safety feels like for us. Maybe we need a weighted blanket, a warm cup of tea, a hug, a bath, a massage, to lie down…
We can also look to nature, which contains safety, stillness, and connection (with the Earth and all her creatures) very naturally. We we truly communicate with nature, it’s often easier to feel we belong.
When the world feels sharp-edged and unrelenting, stepping outside onto a beach or forest or under a backyard tree or local park can remind us what ease feels like. The body recognizes the rhythms of the earth. The slow rise and fall of the waves. The hush of wind moving through the grass. These things are not separate from us – they are part of the same pulse of life that runs through our veins.
Here are a few suggestions of things you can try right now (or later today):
For safety: wrap yourself in a cozy blanket (ideally a weighted one if you have it) and hold a warm drink to remind your body what safety feels like around you. Notice the warmth and the steam rising. Try shaking out your hands and pressing your feet into the floor, which tells your body that it doesn’t need to stay braced for the other shoe to drop.
For stillness, we can just take a 30-second pause and notice our breath or the sounds around us. This pause is a taste of the stillness available to us.
For connection, we can reach out to a friend and let them know we were thinking of them (even sending text is a simple start). We can ask for a hug.
Safety. Stillness. Connection. These aren’t distant things. They’re available here, now, wherever you are, in this moment with you. You don’t have to wait until the “right” time to start claiming your birthright.
Safety is yours.
Stillness is yours.
Connection is yours.
Welcome home, freedom seeker.
You will learn:
// Why safety, stillness, and connection are our natural birthright
// What keeps us from experiencing them more regularly
// How to reclaim our birthright & unlearn the unhealthy patterns that keep us from it
// Ways we can practice safety, stillness, and connection in our own daily lives
Resources:
// Episode 65: The Art of Doing Nothing
// Episode 139: Nature & Reconnecting
// If you’re new to the squad, grab the Rebel Buddhist Toolkit I created at RebelBuddhist.com. It has all you need to start creating a life of more freedom, adventure, and purpose. You’ll also get access to the Rebel Buddhist private group, and tune in every Wednesday as I go live with new inspiration and topics.
// Want something more self-paced with access to weekly group support and getting coached by yours truly? Check out Freedom School – the community for ALL things related to freedom, inside and out. We dive into taking wisdom and applying it to our daily lives, with different topics every month. Learn more at JoinFreedomSchool.com. I can’t wait to see you there!
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