Personally, when I’m in a funk, I’m more likely to head for the mountains than grab my phone to call a friend (although I’ve cultivated more balance over time).
I mean, nature doesn’t lie to me, gaslight me, ghost me, or hold grudges. Nature has rhythms and integrity (although climate change seems to be impacting that some…). It doesn’t try to fix me. It just holds me. Listens. Loves me.
Many of us trust nature more than humans.. AND some trust humans more than nature.
However, in wholeness we are meant to have foundational attachments to BOTH nature and humans. In fact, when fractures in these relationships are healed and we embrace our wholeness, we don’t even see a separation.
When these attachments have wounds, it shows up in many areas.
If we lean heavily on nature and don’t have a strong trust in other humans, we may also have a hardened heart around human connection and feel isolation more strongly. Or we might think that we don’t even need people at all.
On the other hand, if we’ve built your sense of safety and belonging around humans, or if we just didn’t get the opportunity to build a relationship with nature because of growing up in a concrete jungle or with beliefs that nature is dangerous or something for us to tame, we might not even notice how severed we are from the earth + the more-than-human world.
You might think, “Oh but I love nature!” but when was the last time you let nature change you, touch you deeply, or teach you something you couldn’t learn in a book or podcast?
This divide between humans and nature – the Lie of Separation – can lead to suffering in ways we don’t always see until things start to fall apart.
The reality is that the human psyche isn’t separate from the larger world. Bill Plotkin said, “We cannot become fully human without the world.” That means our healing, growth, and ability to love and grieve and belong are entangled with both the people in our life AND the planet beneath our feet.
When we become overly attached to one and suspicious (or distant) from the other, we start to feel symptoms of disconnection. If we’re only attached to nature, we may start to be afraid to be vulnerable with humans. If we’re only attached to people, we may feel like something is missing—a lack of rootedness, a subtle/chronic anxiety, even despair.
And when it becomes really apparent is when the thing we rely on isn’t available – maybe we’re in a big city and the mountains we need are far away; or maybe the friend/partner we lean on isn’t around, or there’s a fracture in our relationship at the time. When we’ve only cultivated only one of our foundational attachments, we can feel incredibly alone when this happens.
Most of us didn’t consciously choose to disconnect from nature or from each other. We were taught to, conditioned to. Colonized into it, even.
We’ve been told that we’re individual, self-made, independent from the earth, from community, from the great web of life. And capitalism thrives on this lie – if you believe you’re separate, you’ll spend your life trying to buy your way back to wholeness.
But that separation? It’s not true. It never was. The disconnection? It’s an illusion. And deep down, I think we all know it. It’s also a reason why so many psychedelic experiences reveal this truth. Our belonging, our connection, is T R U T H.
We can feel it in our body when we’re lying on a hot granite slab. We fell it when someone looks us in the eyes and really sees us; is attuned to us.
Undoing the Lie of Separation is an act of reclamation, and even one of rebellion. Every time we root down into the land or open our heart to another human, we’re pushing back against generations of conditioning.
We’re remembering what our ancestors knew before they were told (or forced) to forget: we’re not just in a relationship with nature and humans – we ARE that relationship.
Interdependence – a common teaching in Buddhism AND Deep Ecology – means we need each other – and it means we are woven into relationship with the trees, the waters, the stars…and others. This whole LIFE thing wasn’t meant to be a solo act. We’re part of a web, mycelium, a forest of cells and spirit. And we need both kinds of love: the wild and the woven.
The first step to healing wounds in our foundational attachements is noticing. Where do we go when you’re hurting? Who or what do we turn to? And what happens if that source isn’t enough?
Healing our foundational attachments doesn’t mean splitting our attention between the more-thahuman world and people like some kind of spiritual pie chart. It means developing trust in both realms, and letting each inform and expand our capacity to love.
We don’t have to be perfect at this or have it all figured out. But we can begin right now. Come back to the center – the place where roots + relationships meet. Where the wild and the woven live in you.
Both are waiting for you to come home.
You will learn:
// How we cultivate (and have wounds) in our foundational attachments to Humans and Nature
// Why some people trust nature more than humans, and others trust people more than nature
// Why our ultimate wholeness includes BOTH other humans AND nature
// The forces at play that disconnect us from nature + each other
// How we can undo the Lie of Separation
Resources:
// Episode 139: Nature and Reconnecting
// Episode 210: Spiritual Friends and How to Make Them
// Nature and the Human Soul, by Bill Plotkin
// If you’re new to the squad, grab the Rebel Buddhist Toolkit I created at RebelBuddhist.com. It has all you need to start creating a life of more freedom, adventure, and purpose. You’ll also get access to the Rebel Buddhist private group, and tune in every Wednesday as I go live with new inspiration and topics.
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