There’s this idea that I’ve heard before, that if it’s meant to be, things “will flow,” “It’ll be easy.” And if it’s not meant to be, there will be obstacles and resistance – so on the flip side, when it’s hard, it’s NOT meant to be.
Maybe you’re familiar with it too. Perhaps you’ve whispered it to yourself when a relationship, a career move, or a life goal started to feel hard. And when an obstacle shows up, that voice might get louder: “Maybe this isn’t meant for me. Or I’m doing it wrong.”
But here’s the truth – life is inherently a mix of opposites. Good and bad, easy and hard, smooth patches and rough stretches.
That doesn’t mean we’re off track or that our dream is wrong or misaligned. The human experience is inherently messy and unpredictable. It’s literally built into our existence to include challenge.
So we need to remember that discomfort isn’t the enemy – it’s information. If we’re thinking that it’s too hard and that we aren’t headed in the right direction, we’re not observing the difficulty, we’re creating extra, unnecessary suffering.
Growth and clarity often arise in moments of resistance, right? The mind wants certainty, smooth sailing, and control, but true progress requires leaning into the friction.
And here’s where we have to reconcile the paradox – yes, if something is aligned with us, life can flow more easily. We’ll often hit streaks of momentum, synchronicity, and clarity.
Those moments feel fucking great and we should savor them!
But one day it will be hard again… AND that doesn’t mean something has gone wrong.
Even the things you’re meant to do will require effort, decision-making, and resilience.
The key is differentiating between hard because it’s misaligned and hard because life is life.
One way to do this is by looking to the Four Noble Truths of Buddhism. These truths remind us that discomfort is part of being human. It’s not a sign that we’ve failed. it’s literally part of the deal of being born. For ALL beings.
So how do we reconcile these two truths? First, we can observe and respond instead of just reacting. Notice if a challenge is consistent or situational. If every step toward a goal feels like a slog, that may be a sign of misalignment. But a single hard week, a challenging conversation, or an unexpected obstacle? Those don’t invalidate the path, because life naturally ebbs and flows.
You can also think of alignment as a compass, not as a guarantee. In other words, alignment is NOT a promise of effortless perfection. When we do have those moments of ease, flow, and synchronicity, we can use them to build momentum and prepare for the inevitable friction that’s part of life. Then we can recognize that the next challenge that comes along doesn’t negate the alignment; it’s part of the path.
So alignment isn’t a promise of zero conflict. It’s a promise of meaningful connection and forward movement despite conflict. Buddhist teachings remind us to notice our attachment to outcomes and to cultivate presence in the moment. The more we accept uncertainty and release the need to control, the lighter challenges feel – not easier in the sense of effort, but less emotionally catastrophic.
So here’s the takeaway for today: Hard doesn’t equal wrong or misaligned. Hard is human.
And aligned doesn’t always equal effortless, but it does provide clarity, momentum, and the resilience to navigate the friction.
Look, rebel ones, life will always give us a mix of sunshine and storms, flow and friction. That’s the price of admission to this human experience.
The question is: Can we move through both with awareness, clarity, and courage, recognizing that the presence of difficulty and challenge doesn’t invalidate the path, and the presence of alignment doesn’t guarantee perfection?
Lean into it, learn from it, and remember: being alive is half chaos, half grace—and both are sacred.
You will learn:
// Why discomfort doesn’t mean we are misaligned or that it’s not meant to be… and what it ACTUALLY signifies
// Why we tend to fear discomfort in the first place
// How to know the difference between difficulty that comes from being misaligned on our path, and the universal challenges of the human experience
// One practice you can start today to connect with discomfort instead of fear it – and move towards openness
Resources:
// Episode 9: Impermanence, Death, and Other Sexy Things
// Episode 44: The Power of the Pause
// Episode 63: Being Human is Hard – The First Noble Truth
// Episode 100: How to Know You’re Making Progress
// Episode 156: Savoring When Suffering Is Not Present
// If you’re new to the squad, grab the Rebel Buddhist Toolkit I created at RebelBuddhist.com. It has all you need to start creating a life of more freedom, adventure, and purpose. You’ll also get access to the Rebel Buddhist private group, and tune in every Wednesday as I go live with new inspiration and topics.
// Want something more self-paced with access to weekly group support and getting coached by yours truly? Check out Freedom School – the community for ALL things related to freedom, inside and out. We dive into taking wisdom and applying it to our daily lives, with different topics every month. Learn more at JoinFreedomSchool.com. I can’t wait to see you there!
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