Think about this for a minute: if you knew – like really knew – you only had a year or a month or however long left to live, how would your mindset change? How many of those inner obstacles currently holding you back would fall away if you truly grasped the impermanent nature of your own life?Continue reading
You probably think you know what ‘s important to you, right?
But in my coaching practice, I’ve found that while most people believe their values are very clear to them, when it comes down to putting words to our values, a lot of people get stuck!
That’s totally OK – and to be expected, because not a lot of folks have been given the chance to sit down and consciously reflect on all this.Continue reading
Ever have moments where this realization just hits you like a runaway train? “Oh shit, I am not living in alignment with my values right now. How did I end up here?”
Yeah. I hear you. I’ve been there. And it can be a pretty stop-you-in-your-tracks, flip-your-world-upside-down kinda moment. Because then the second realization comes: “I’m so fucking unhappy. It’s gonna take so much work to change this.” Then maybe: “I’m not sure I’m up to the task.”
If this is you, I’ve got you! I’m with you! And I have some things to share with you that I think really might help you on this journey.Continue reading
Many people are facing a hard realization right now: “If I don’t learn how to take care of myself, I will burn out.”
It’s true. You cannot dedicate yourself to creating the life you want, contributing to and changing the world… and then ignore your own bodily, mental and spiritual needs. Because that’s what causes self-combustion. And then you’re not helping yourself, let alone anyone else.
In reality, it’s a balancing act – in order to show up for others in your fullest capacity, you must first learn to nourish yourself so that you CAN show up, and show up well.Continue reading
The truth is, at the most basic level of true allyship and the heart of what anti-racism work requires is this simple thing that many people – white folks in particular – still actively struggle with, whether they’re conscious of it or not: a genuine willingness to be uncomfortable.
As nationwide protests continue to erupt throughout cities small and large in the wake of the recent murders of George Floyd, Breonna Taylor, Ahmaud Arbery, and many more, hard and important conversations have taken hold. Conversations about systemic racism and white terrorism. About police brutality and militarized violence. About collective rage pushed to the brink from centuries of oppression in a country that was founded on genocide and slavery, on stolen Indigenous land and on the backs of enslaved people stolen from Africa.
Past experiences shape who we are. We, humans, spend an incredible amount of time reliving our pasts and forming narratives that, consciously or unconsciously, can begin to dictate how we think of ourselves and how we show up in the world.Continue reading
Why are we so willing to work hard for someone else’s dream but not our own? Why are we so willing to disappoint ourselves instead of someone else?
The truth is—unless you’re some kind of crazy-evolved superhuman—you probably spend a good deal of time and mental energy obsessing about what other people think of you. You may not even realize you do this. Or, you may be hyper-aware of it and wish you could just STOP CARING, but don’t know where or how to start.
Either way, you’re not alone.Continue reading
We have this one, precious human life…at least in this body, on this miraculous planet, with these unique whacky people in our community around us. Yet too many of us spend this amazing opportunity tolerating things that no longer serve us.
I’m thinking we could all do with feeling a little better today, so I want you to try something with me real quick that’ll shift things for you.
One of the things I love to do with clients is explore their Peak Experiences – memories of events that spark their soul. It’s foundational to creating the life you want and is super fun to do, so let’s do it. Right here, right now. It doesn’t take too long.
For me, when I think of Peak Experiences in my life, it’s often special moments in the mountains when the light is just right, mountains towering above (or below!), perfect silence pervading, and feeling strong and centered and surrounded by beauty, like everything is perfect and I know it…
It can also be the crazy moments being taken up in the ocean’s swell on a surfboard only to have a pod of dolphins swim by and around and under as the sun rose and hit the waves just right so the dolphins surfing in the waves were backlit by a universal glow, feeling so small and slightly frightened about the vastness that lay below me in the ocean’s depths, yet somehow knowing it was all good…
Or lying by my dad’s side during his last days on this earth, my arms around him as he called me an angel and me being able to tell him how much I love him and to hear him tell me the same as he hovered in that sacred space between here and beyond the notions of “here and there,” somehow knowing that all was right.
Some of my Freedom School students have shared things like the flow they feel when painting or writing; how awesome they feel when giving a presentation on a topic they’re passionate about, as if they are just downloading from another source; an epic night of passion. You get the idea.
It seems the common themes in these experiences aren’t a pretty sunset or big adventure, but rather an innate knowing that all was exactly as it should be.
Perfect, in its own way.
Fully alive and present.
In the flow.
Peak experiences help us learn a lot about who we are, our values, how we honor those values.
When was your most recent peak experience? What were you doing? Where were you? Who were you with?
(Tip: if you can’t think of one, what would be a peak experience be for you?)
What does that experience tell you about what fulfills you?
Notice that this experience was a peak experience for you because it honored your deepest values. You were in alignment.
What were some that showed up? Nature? Connection? Passion? Adventure? Freedom?
Now, take that wisdom and see how you can manifest honoring these values more often in your daily life, so that you can feel that alignment.
And I do mean NOW.
Too many people wait until the Big Event happens – the new job, the new degree, the kids leaving for college, finally getting pregnant or having a partner, to fit into their old jeans, or make X amount of $$$ – before they start feeling joy and that their outside life is in alignment with their internal values.
But the catch is that to manifest all those things you want, you need to start feeling that way NOW. Because our thoughts create our feelings, and our FEELINGS drive our actions.
And guess what creates our reality?
Damn right. Our feelings.
Think about that – I know it makes sense intellectually but I want you to really grock this in your bones. Your feelings drive your actions which create your reality.
THIS is why it is so important to feel the way you think you’ll feel when you finally have that thing you’ve always wanted.
It’s the only way you’ll create that thing you’ve always wanted.
So if you want to do what it takes to create your ideal life, don’t wait to feel amazing.
Give yourself permission to feel that way RIGHT NOW.
In fact, it is ESSENTIAL to creating the life you were meant to live.
So take a moment now and think: is there something that reminds you of that peak experience?
Use it to help remember what is important to you….perhaps a rock from that mountain top, a photo in a cool frame, a seashell from the beach, a poem from your loved one. Place it somewhere you’ll see it – often.
Take a small part of each day to connect with your “special place.” Maybe go for a walk after dinner under the full moon, meditate in the morning on your gratitudes for 3-5 minutes, roll in the grass (or snow!) with your dog, make a plan to have a small adventures each week (go to a new restaurant, hike a new trail, go to a new class at the gym).
Whatever you do, try to find a way to stay connected to that peak experience.
Create the space in your life for it to enter more often, in unexpected ways.
To Your Freedom!
If you want to join a tribe of people that will help you navigate this wild and precious life, come check out Freedom School – for rebels like you. It’s not just personal growth for rebels. It’s Jedi training for the new world.