Many people are facing a hard realization right now: “If I don’t learn how to take care of myself, I will burn out.”

It’s true. You cannot dedicate yourself to creating the life you want, contributing to and changing the world… and then ignore your own bodily, mental and spiritual needs. Because that’s what causes self-combustion. And then you’re not helping yourself, let alone anyone else.

In reality, it’s a balancing act – in order to show up for others in your fullest capacity, you must first learn to nourish yourself so that you CAN show up, and show up well.

The truth is, at the most basic level of true allyship and the heart of what anti-racism work requires is this simple thing that many people – white folks in particular – still actively struggle with, whether they’re conscious of it or not: a genuine willingness to be uncomfortable.

As nationwide protests continue to erupt throughout cities small and large in the wake of the recent murders of George Floyd, Breonna Taylor, Ahmaud Arbery, and many more, hard and important conversations have taken hold. Conversations about systemic racism and white terrorism. About police brutality and militarized violence. About collective rage pushed to the brink from centuries of oppression in a country that was founded on genocide and slavery, on stolen Indigenous land and on the backs of enslaved people stolen from Africa.

Past experiences shape who we are. We, humans, spend an incredible amount of time reliving our pasts and forming narratives that, consciously or unconsciously, can begin to dictate how we think of ourselves and how we show up in the world.

Why are we so willing to work hard for someone else’s dream but not our own? Why are we so willing to disappoint ourselves instead of someone else?

The truth is—unless you’re some kind of crazy-evolved superhuman—you probably spend a good deal of time and mental energy obsessing about what other people think of you. You may not even realize you do this. Or, you may be hyper-aware of it and wish you could just STOP CARING, but don’t know where or how to start.

Either way, you’re not alone.

We have this one, precious human life…at least in this body, on this miraculous planet, with these unique whacky people in our community around us. Yet too many of us spend this amazing opportunity tolerating things that no longer serve us.