One of the best ways I can describe my offering to my community is as a Soul Midwife. This might still be confusing to some, but it is the most accurate.
When I was a midwife for over a decade, I caught over 1000 babies. I learned that I was there not to “deliver a baby,” but to educate, advocate, guide, support, and facilitate – not to take control or tell people what to do. The person birthing is their own best guide, and I learned to trust their inner wisdom, and how to create a space where they can access and trust themselves, even when in fear and pain.
It’s the same in the work I do now. Even though I have a post-doctorate from Johns Hopkins University and multiple graduate degrees from places like UCSF and UCSC, my work as a midwife prepared me best. I am not a guru. I am not the one with all the answers. I am not going to pretend I have a quick-fix a magic bullet (and you should run from anyone who says they do).
However, what I AM an expert at is creating and holding a space where you feel safe to trust your own inner healing wisdom and intuition. Where you feel safe to know your deepest truths. Where you feel safe to surrender to what is needed for the next level of healing and growth.
Some call me an expert Altered States Guide. Some know me as the host of the Rebel Buddhist® podcast. Some have worked with me in my programs like the Adventure Mastermind or Freedom School. Others have heard of my work as a nature-based trauma therapist or as a meditation teacher. They are all variations of Soul Midwifing.
Ultimately, I help wanderers and freedom seekers make the most of this one, precious life by guiding nature-based altered states experiences and inner + outer adventures to help you explore your consciousness, mind and soul.
Many people have Freedom as one of their top values. We want to create true freedom, inside and out. It’s part of the reason we’re can be so naughty;) We love that feeling of no limits, stretching the limits, setting our OWN limits. Breaking others’ limits. And we wonder about what’s possible, over and over again.
We want to be free of suffering and it’s causes. We don’t want to not be hijacked by our emotions. Some part of us know we’re going to die and we don’t know when, and we don’t want to die with regrets. We want to be free of wondering, “What if…”
But sometimes we get confused about what true freedom is. And we do things that don’t serve us because we think it’ll help us feel better, like overworking, signing up for a bunch of programs or workshops that we think will “solve everything;” escaping with alcohol or overusing weed or psychedelics, binge-watching shows, overeating, over___(fill in the blank). Or we run from it. We tune out. We lash out. We get lost in shame, guilt, and regret.
I’m speaking first-hand here, because I’ve had some adventures – and misadventures – that led me to look to places for healing and comfort that weren’t very helpful. And they also led me to progressively deeper dives into healing and transformation.
Here’s a taster, but by no means is it an exhaustive list:
- I’ve had cancer - twice (two different kinds!). Once when I was 30 and again 9 years later
- Been divorced (once) - great person but the wrong person. Dog custody dispute :/
- Had a baby at 40 and developed postpartum depression. I got VERY isolated…and started to overdrink
- My mom died unexpectedly while I was traveling in Morocco and I found out 3 days later via Facebook (yeah, no sh*t). Re-started overdrinking.
- I’ve experienced physical and sexual assault
- Was cheated on - saw it coming and STILL stayed.
- Grew up in a very poor and violent neighborhood (think drive-by shootings and the highest murder rate per capita in the 80s)
- My dad had PTSD and schizoaffective disorder and used to run around the aforementioned violent neighborhood naked, thinking he was a kid needing diapers, and bring prostitutes and drug dealers home to feed them (his strength was deep compassion)
- I went through hell and back getting my doctorate in nursing with postpartum depression and a toddler (whose idea was that? Oh , mine...) and gaining 25 pounds
- Went through a deep spiritual crisis at 19…but that was great because I discovered meditation and mindfulness. I almost became a nun after a 30-day meditation retreat in Nepal when I was 21. But the mountains set me straight and told me I was born to evolve spiritually through deep pain and suffering in intimate relationships. #jokingnotjoking
There’s more. But that’s enough about me. As you can see, I’ve had some challenging life experiences that will help me help you as your guide and coach. I’m happy to use what I’ve learned during my adventures (and misadventures) to give you a better chance at avoiding my mistakes, and learning the things that helped me the most, especially when I was really scared and confused.
Oh, and if you’re the “street cred” type that wants the geeky details, this next section is for you. Otherwise, feel free to click here and schedule a consult.
My Soul Midwifery has been influenced by many types of learning:
- I have a degree in clinical psychology from UCSC and a post-doctorate in Psychiatric Mental Health Nursing from Johns Hopkins University, a leader in psychedelic research. I've also completed fellowships in Integrative Psychiatry and post-graduate training in psychedelic-assisted therapy, as well as certification through MAPS and Medicinal Mindfulness.
- My doctoral project was based out of Kathmandu, Nepal and focused on improving communcation during emergency transports. I also have two master’s degrees from amazing schools like UC San Francisco and UC Santa Cruz
- I've had careers as an emergency room nurse, midwife, functional medicine provider, and University professor over the past 20+ years. Out of all these, being a midwife and catching over 1000 babies prepared me the most for guiding altered states.
- I was an international climbing guide for 10 years am certified in Forest Therapy. I integrate nature and adventure into all my programs.
- I've mentored women wanting to create more inner and outer freedom for over 30 years
- My first experience with entheogens was at 15 years old, and I now have over 33 years of personal experience with entheogens
- I've helped people through psychiatric crises at festivals and during gatherings like Burning Man through my work with Zendo and other organizations.
- I also spent decades cultivating my own innate capacity to explore consciousness, believing we have the capacity to do so with and without entheogens. I've been a dedicated Buddhist meditation practitioner since 1991, mindfulness meditation teacher (I trained with Jack Kornfield and Tara Brach as well as UCSD's Center for Mindfulness), and continually cultivate my own practice with regular Vipassana retreats at Spirit Rock and other centers. I am currently in the Community Dharma Leaders program at Spirit Rock, and have completed their Dedicated Practitioner's Program.
That’s just the tip of the iceberg. It’s one of the perks of having a coach who is a multi-passionate! If you’re like me, you know this list would take PAGES, right?!
Why did I choose to be an Altered States Guide over a very successful career in healthcare and academia and after doing a sh*t-ton of handwork getting my doctoral degree? Because of you.
Because I love working with people whose #1 priority is freedom and who know that isn’t just about what they can DO in life, but also about how they are BEING in the world. Who are deeply curious about what’s possible in this one precious life we have on this miracle of a planet. Who want to milk every moment they have and be fully present for ALL OF IT.
Yes, even our shadow sides and more challenging experiences, because that’s where the juice of this life is. That’s where we are tempered in the fire and emerge transformed.
Freedom seekers want to live a life that is in alignment with who they are on the inside. Be proud of how they show up in the world. Live a life with no regrets. No “what ifs…” or “ I wish I had…” No part of us left unexamined.
You want to live – and know – life.
And you want to do it with integrity. In alignment.
You believe in Justice. Equality. And Freedom – for everyone. You will stand up for it. Sometimes you want to be more confident about it and stand up for it more often. That’s OK – I can help you do that.
You meditate. Or at least you’ve done it once;) You do it less than you’d like, but you know it’s good for you. You take care of your body. Less ideally than you want, but better than most. You know mindfulness has incredible power but you don’t know how it would work for you, or how to apply it to your everyday life (when the defection is hitting the oscillation, if you know what I mean). But you want to.
You’re Buddhist-curious. I won’t pretend this doesn’t influence my work. But as the Dalai Lama said, “Do not try to use what you learn from Buddhism to be a Buddhist; use it to be a better whatever-you-already-are.” I won’t be trying to convert you. I will share the tools I’ve learned to explore consciousness from a tradition that has meditation and mindfulness as their main practice for over 2700 years.
You want to milk every moment of every drop of juice that it has to offer.
I get you. I AM you.
And what I get off on the most is helping people like you realize the amazing life that opens up when you free your mind. When you don’t need ANYTHING but what you have right now in the present moment to feel fully alive, adventurous, and free. You won’t even need me.
I’m just going to tell you now so there’s no mistake: I’m a no bullsh*t coach who will simultaneously challenge you and remind you of your greatness, because my superpower is seeing that greatness in others. Ever since I was a kid it’s been like that.
When I was 7 years old I started “The Double Dare Club.” Yeah, no shit. I charged 25 cents to join and I gave people hard and scary stuff to do (for a 7 year-old), like jump into the mean neighbor’s yard (in my hood that meant he might shoot you) without him seeing and steal some apples from his tree then hop the really high fence and shoot a basket from the free-throw line with just ONE try, then crank call the kid you had a crush on. Kids PAID me to help them do what they didn’t think was possible and what scared them then. And they pay me to do it now – as adults.
Because that’s what I was born to do.
How about you? What were you born to do? What kind of life were you meant to live? Let’s discover that. And DO that.
Listen, I’ve been through the fire myself, and seen people rise from the ashes like a Phoenix, so I sincerely believe in my clients. Not in a cheerleader rah rah kind of way. But in a fierce, look-you-in-the-eye-and-tell-you-to-get-past-the-bullshit-and-dig-deep-because-I-know-you-can-do-it kind of way.
I’m here to help you manifest your best self and your best life – one without regrets. That takes courage on your part – and mine. Because you may not always like me. And I’m OK with that, because I’m not here for you to like me. I’m here to help you see that anything really IS possible. Like fucking magic.
I’ll call you out on the ways you are not showing up in alignment with who you are meant to be, because that’s what good friends do, and it’s certainly (in my opinion) what a good coach does.
I teach you a combination of nature-based soul crafting as well as practical skills that help you apply the insights you’ve gained from altered states to the real world. And let’s not forget radical mindfulness and other modern brain science I’ve curated. I share what’s in my brain and heart with you – unfiltered. I do it with fierce love for you and for this precious life we ALL have.
INSIGHT + CLARITY + COURAGE + RADICAL MINDFULNESS + BRAIN SCIENCE + COMMUNITY = UNSHAKEABLE FREEDOM
