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Why are we so willing to work hard for someone else’s dream but not our own? Why are we so willing to disappoint ourselves instead of someone else?
The truth is—unless you’re some kind of crazy-evolved superhuman—you probably spend a good deal of time and mental energy obsessing about what other people think of you. You may not even realize you do this. Or, you may be hyper-aware of it and wish you could just STOP CARING, but don’t know where or how to start.
Either way, you’re not alone.
One of the most common reasons people come to me for coaching is to manage the anxiety + insecurity they have about caring so much about what other people think.
Some of my clients have panic attacks worrying about what their ex thinks of them, so they end up living stuck in the past instead of getting out and rocking their life without the ex.
Others don’t question their faith or ask the hard questions because people will see them as disloyal to their community, or they don’t want to leave their stable job to start their dream business because others will judge them for following their passion.
The lack of action they have comes from being afraid of what people might think of them – if they succeed OR if they fail. When you care too much about what someone thinks about you, it’s a no-win situation. You fail ahead of time.
How do you start to change this?
Worrying about what other people think of us doesn’t just affect our mood or self-confidence; it actually affects our behavior in all kinds of crazy ways. It takes a HUGE toll on our ability to reach our fullest capacities, and oftentimes prevents us from doing what is in true alignment with who we are.
To change this – to really start living the life you were meant to live – you’re going to need to rebel against what people think is right for you, even if they have the best intentions or elements of what they’re saying is true. You’re going to need to be OK with people thinking you’re crazy, too full of pride, or irresponsible or too sexy or disrespectful or a total bitch. You’re going to need to be ok with them feeling threatened, embarrassed, jealous or holier-than-thou.
Because when people see you doing what’s risky and deciding to follow your dreams, do you know what it does?
It causes other people to question their own life and the way they’re showing up.
We need people to shake things up and make other people uncomfortable so that they wake the hell up.
We need rebels like YOU to lead the way in realizing that the point of life isn’t to be happy all the time. The points are:
To live this one precious life fully.
To feel ALL the feels.
To not fail ahead of time by not even trying, but to die at least knowing you gave it your all.
How what someone thinks about you really IS about them – and not you – so let people be wrong about you. Yes, you can (and should) come at it from a place of compassion. But start living in your own truth. And start doing it now.
Topics in this episode:
•Why we seem to obsess over what other people think about us – how it holds us back
•How to let people be ‘wrong’ about you + learn to be OK with disappointing others
•How I learned to stop giving a flying hooha about other people’s judgement – and how it freed me up to live the life of my dreams
•Why you MUST start doing you instead of what other people think is ‘right’, even when it’s hard and uncomfortable
•How you not caring what people think can inspire others
Resources
// Having healthy boundaries is key when you practice letting people be wrong about you. Click here to grab the free Boundaries training.
// Want to know how to build unshakable confidence and resilience? Have a tribe that supports you? Learn about the Rebel Buddhist Manifesto? Click here to grab the Rebel Buddhist Training Kit for a free resilience training, an active online community, and more.
// Ready to dive even deeper into all this? Check out Freedom School and see what everyone’s obsessed about. It’s not just group coaching. It’s a mindset revolution that you won’t want to miss.