This episode is all about the most common ways I see people misuse thought work and mindfulness.
When I coach people on how to self-coach, I get so many clients who are confused about the difference between a) changing your life, b) changing your feelings about your life, c) truly processing your emotions from those original circumstances, even if you’ve already changed them.
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Circumstances are neutral.
Another way of saying this? Things are empty of inherent qualities.
Today, we’re digging into what a practical application of emptiness looks like in our everyday lives.
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I’m going to let you in on a golden nugget of truth that maybe you’ve never heard before: feelings are optional.
Yup, you read that right.
The ability to feel a full spectrum of contrasted, complex emotions are an inherent and integral part of the human experience – it’s what makes our species who (and what) we are.
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Humans go through life thinking that feelings happen TO us. We think, “Ugh I am so stressed out, I wish it would stop!” Oftentimes, we act so confused about where it is coming from.
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In case nobody ever told you: life is about making choices.
The ability to choose is an incredible power that we humans have, but it takes some serious skill to be able to use it wisely.
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The Buddha taught that, to be free, we need to investigate every part of our human experience with an intimate and mindful attention. This includes emotions.
Emotions aren’t “bad” in and of themselves.
It’s what we do when we feel them – the thoughts that ensue, the actions we take as a result – not the emotion itself, that often causes our suffering.
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Humans have a great capacity for communication.
Yes, animals can communicate in other ways with unique sounds (probably telepathic ways we aren’t able to tune into…), but because of our cerebral cortex, we are capable of communicating complex plans about the future, stories about the past, and lots of amazing, abstract ideas.
It’s a real evolutionary gift.
But this level of communication can also get us into a lot of trouble. We can really hurt people, or act in ways that aren’t in alignment with how we want to show up in the world – especially when we’re not being mindful.
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Can money buy happiness?
Many great minds throughout history have tried to answer this age-old question. And I bet you’ve pondered it a time or two…
Continue readingWhat is true success? What is a truly “rich life”? What is a life of true FREEDOM?
We all may have our own preconceived notions of what the answers to these questions look like – notions that are subliminally based on societal norms, familial or cultural expectations and the systems of power that order our world.
Continue readingAt an early stage in our lives, most of us have been taught that we need something outside of us to be happy – the right body, partner, job, car, house, bank account. Then somewhere along the line we also get taught something like, “True happiness comes from within.”
And we think we’re totally on board with that. We think, “Right. It’s not stuff that makes me happy – it’s things like kindness + compassion that make me happy!”
The thing is, none of the above is true.
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