At an early stage in our lives, most of us have been taught that we need something outside of us to be happy – the right body, partner, job, car, house, bank account. Then somewhere along the line we also get taught something like, “True happiness comes from within.”
And we think we’re totally on board with that. We think, “Right. It’s not stuff that makes me happy – it’s things like kindness + compassion that make me happy!”
The thing is, none of the above is true.
Want to know why? Because while it may seem obvious to many of you that “things” don’t cause lasting happiness, neither do kindness and compassion. It’s deeper than that.
Sound blasphemous? Stay with me.
Here’s the deal: we need to get really clear (like ASAP) on what, exactly, comes from outside of us and what comes from within.
And we need to learn this not from someone telling us what’s-what, but through our own experience, our own investigation, our own inner knowing.
Most of us think that what’s going on in our mind is the same as what’s going on in the external world.
When we don’t understand the difference between the two, we’re constantly exhausting ourselves trying to control the world in order to feel better.
We’re always grasping, searching, and believing that if we could just get fit, if we could just find the right partner, if we could just make more money, if we could just move to a different state, then everything would be so much better. We would be able to stop feeling like shit about our lives.
But the thing about how humans roll (and let’s be honest, capitalism hasn’t helped with this) is that we want something, we get it, and then we want the next thing.
But there IS no “thing” we can “get” or achieve that would stop us from wanting.
The truth is: even if there was, none of that outside stuff controls how we feel. Facts, things, circumstances…they don’t cause feelings.
Our thoughts about the facts in our lives cause our feelings. The good ones and the bad ones.
And compassion and love? They don’t cause a feeling like happiness either…because compassion and love are feelings, just like happiness. So what causes those? Yup. Thoughts
See where I’m going with this?
In order to stop feeling like shit, we need to know what causes the shitty feeling. ALL feelings.
When you understand that our thinking is really what creates our feelings, you realize you can create any emotion you want right now.
And this is the Jedi mind trick to top them all.
Because think about anything you want in your life. You want it because of how you think it will make you feel. Anything you don’t want, you don’t want because of how you think it will make you feel.
And since we do everything in our lives because of how it will or won’t feel, we get into a whole new place of empowerment when we learn how to create that feeling ourselves instead of needing something outside of us to feel it.
We no longer need to wait to feel a certain way. It is accessible to us right now.
In the meantime, we also need to learn how to feel emotions – any emotion – because this isn’t about being happy all the time. We can choose to feel grief when a loved one dies or anger when we witness injustice. But we can’t effectively create a new emotion without completing another.
And until we master being with any emotion, we will still be wary of feeling the hard ones – which will hold us back. We’ll be afraid to feel embarrassed or humiliated or like a failure.
But once we learn how to be with any emotion mindfully, without judgement – to sit with the sensation it creates in our bodies rather than our narratives about the feeling – only THEN will we stop reacting to and resisting it.
Instead, we will open up to it. And we will understand that the only thing holding us back is our fear of feeling our feelings.
And then we’ll say, “C’mon world. Bring it on. I can handle it.”
Today, I invite you to dig into this work:
- Discern what comes from the external world and what comes from your mind;
- Learn and believe that facts, things, and circumstances don’t cause our feelings. Our thoughts about those facts do;
- Know how to feel an emotion. Allow it. Don’t resist or avoid it;
- Be willing to feel anything.
Now, I don’t want you to just take my word for it. Go check it out for yourself. Try to find evidence against these things!
Because when you move beyond just understanding them intellectually, and you integrate these teachings into your bones and believe them wholeheartedly, I promise:
You’ll be able to create any emotion. Take any action. Manifest any result.
We need more people using this wisdom for good. To live the life they were meant to live, grounded in loving kindness and compassion and justice.
We need more rebels like YOU to step up and start practicing these Jedi Mind skills so we can stop acting from fear and feeling powerless in our lives.
Hear me when I say you are more powerful than you can ever imagine. To own that – and use it for the right reasons – is one of the most amazing ways you can make a difference in this world.
In This Episode You’ll Learn:
- Why, in order to stop feeling like shit, you must understand the difference between what’s happening “out there” and what’s happening in your mind
- How to recognize what different emotions feel like IN YOUR BODY – and why this is key to creating new feelings
- Why you have to be willing to really feel any emotion to do the things you want most in your life
- How to quit the circular thinking of “If I could just do X, then I would do Y” so that you can make tangible change right now and see your results in real time
- Four real steps you can take to stop feeling like shit and start making the most out of this wild + precious ride we call life
// Enrollment for Freedom School is now OPEN – but it’s open for just ONE week. Freedom School is my amazing group coaching experience where you learn ALL kinds of skills to train your mind to work FOR you instead of against you.
Every month I teach a new essential skill so you can stop wondering “what it would be like” and start LIVING it. If you’ve been itching to join, now’s your chance. Head over to JoinFreedomSchool.com and snag your spot and the amazing bonuses I created for you before the doors close again. That’s JoinFreedomSchool.com.
// I mentioned @theNapMinistry and here is their amazing IG account
// If you’re new here, grab the starter kit I created at RebelBuddhist.com. It has all you need to start creating a life of more freedom, adventure, and purpose.