Ep. 204: What if This is as Good as it Gets?

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We hear a lot these days about how the possibilities are limitless and we can create and do anything we want. We can align our intentions with the stars and eclipses. Anything is possible!


And while I’m all about this in some contexts and place my own crystals under the light of the full moon and pause to say a prayer during the eclipse and work on my mindset and all that jazz, I also know that this message can become confusing, making us think that just being alive and in our life right now isn’t good enough.


But what if this is as good as it gets?


How did you react when I asked that question? Did your heart sink, or did you feel … deflated?


Our response is a great barometer for how much we are appreciating our life in the present moment.


This question is important to ask because we often want things to be different than they are before we allow ourselves to be happy.


We are often striving for an external factor to shift how we feel – a change in circumstances for happiness.


We think, “WAIT! I still need…” to get that house on the beach, the new job, the amazing partner, or whatever.


We think, why settle? Why not carpe the dang diem?


This are good questions, but another is, “when do we let go of striving?” Is it even possible to accept the present moment while also working on creating possibilities and – here’s the clincher – not have our happiness dependent on things changing?


As usual, this is about the middle way – it’s not encouraging resignation to life as it is, or about constant striving for the next best thing. 


Rather, it’s about realizing when life isn’t what we’d  consider ideal right now and we’re spending a lot of time wishing it were different and trying to balance that. Because the other thing that’s happening is we’re missing the beauty of life exactly as it is in this moment.


I remember when my mom’s health started taking a turn for the worse, and I was still in my depression. I just didn’t have the bandwidth for healing more with her in the moment, and I had to realize, “wow… maybe this is as good as it gets with her. I think she might die without us having healed this.”


When I had that moment of realization, it actually brought me a lot of peace, and my interactions with her had more of a quality of patience and compassion because each one didn’t have the pressure of, “I need THIS to be the day we heal our wounds.”


There was a shift from focusing on what I “needed” to happen to feel at peace, to focusing on what could actually happen in our time left together – like me being a little nicer on the phone. This brought be more peace, and a tenderness to our still-challenging relationship.


Yes, there was still pain, but there was more compassion than when I needed things to change.


I know for many of us, when we think about accepting life as it is, we feel resistance, deflation, or sadness. Certainly not peace. This is a sign that we aren’t fully present with and appreciating life as it currently is – even if it isn’t all easy. 


If we’re afraid to even really explore this question at all, it’s often because we’re attached to life being different than it already is. We might even desperately need things to change before we allow happiness.


We live in a society that is ALL about constant growth and achievement, and success is often measured by external measures like wealth, status, and credentials. It’s no wonder “this is as good as it gets” feels like resigning to some kind of mediocrity.


But what if, instead of viewing it as defeat, we see it as an invitation to explore the richness of the present moment?


Part of our spiritual path is to learn to accept reality – to love our life exactly as it is – AND be open to things changing.


Another sign we’re getting stuck is when we’re comparing our life to others or to how we think our life should have been. Or when we compare our present miraculous life to how it used to be.


Again, this isn’t to encourage us to enter into some kind of resignation and hopelessness about life. Rather, it’s a barometer to see how far we have come along our path of accepting reality and having astute awareness of what really brings us happiness, and giving up the hope that we will magically morph into a different, better, happier person if we lose the weight, get the job, or buy the house.


Because that’s what we’re really hoping for, right? That if our life were different, we could be a different person.


So, as usual, this is about paradox – it’s about our capacity to appreciate and accept our messy life as it is, as WE ARE, who we are, and – at the same time – being open to what Mystery will bring us in our life.


Mystery isn’t saying you aren’t going to be happy. It’s saying “hey be open to things not looking like you think they should.” It’s saying be open to trust. Trusting Mystery, the Universe, trusting that life is happening for you.


And when we enter into that trust, we are cultivating ziji – that inner radiant confidence, knowing our worth and loveability that isn’t demonstrated in how our life looks on the outside.


It isn’t until we can hold the paradox of surrender and possibility that things can flow  – including our true happiness. Contentment.


It is a beautiful thing when, if we ask, “What if this is as good as it gets?” we can say, “That would be fine,” knowing in our bones – trusting deeply – that there is so much more we will experience in life, FOR us.

You will learn:

// How to look toward a future of possibilities… AND love the beauty of where we are NOW

// How accepting life as it is can bring us peace – and still maintain possibility

// Some signs we’re stuck in an unhealthy view of our current and potential life

// How to use “what if this is as good as it gets?” as a mindfulness tool



// Episode 141: The Gift of Paradox


// Episode 201: How Is This My Life Right Now?


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