Ep. 29: Should I Stay or Should I Go?

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This episode is all about the most common ways I see people misuse thought work and mindfulness.

When I coach people on how to self-coach, I get so many clients who are confused about the difference between a) changing your life, b) changing your feelings about your life, c) truly processing your emotions from those original circumstances, even if you’ve already changed them.

That last one so important.

Because usually, when we try to change the external world and circumstances without first understanding our current thoughts and allowing the hard feelings about it, we end up carrying the unprocessed emotion from that circumstance with us to the next one.

So we have the same thoughts, same emotions and therefore the same actions…and even though they might be happening in a different circumstance, because we didn’t change them, we create the Same. Damn. Result.

If you’re carrying the same thoughts and feelings into a new circumstance, you’re going to show up very differently than you would if you were showing up having already processed those emotions, right?

So that often leads us to wonder:

Should I change my life, or change my thoughts and feelings?

Should I stay, or should I go?

In This Episode You’ll Learn:

  • What the top two mistakes are that people make when trying to use the Model to either change their feelings or change their circumstances
  • The importance of processing unresolved emotions before moving onto the next thing in your life
  • Why our brain can hold us back from reaching our highest potential – and how to do the hard thought work necessary to change this
  • How to get your power back and trust in yourself to make the decisions that are best for you, in any situation


// If you’re feeling like you need to back up and learn more about what the Model is and how to use it before you can really take in what this episode offers, check out Episode 18 – it’s all about how to coach yourself using applied mindfulness.

// Want more help making decisions? Check out Episode 25 on Decision Clutter.

// If you’re new here, grab the starter kit I created at RebelBuddhist.com. It has all you need to start creating a life of more freedom, adventure, and purpose. You’ll get access to the private Facebook group where you can ask me questions! Once you join, there’s also a weekly FB live called Wake the F*ck Up Wednesday, where you can ask questions that come up as you do this work – in all parts of your life.