Ep. 30: How You See Yourself

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Self-image, at its core, is the way you see yourself. By “see” I mean how you interpret and think about yourself – not just the factual way you see yourself but also the opinion that you have of yourself.

An important concept to understand is that self-image is totally subjective. It is totally up to YOU. Your opinion about yourself. It isn’t factual.

We spend a lot of time being concerned about what other people think of us. We spend way more time trying to control or manage what other people think instead of how we see ourselves. And of course, it’s impossible to control how others think of us.

But still, we worry about what we wear, what we drive, the house we live in, how good we are at ZOOM homeschooling during a pandemic…and we do all this concerned about how we measure up in other people’s minds, often without realizing that that’s what we’re doing.

Doing the work to change this could really blow your mind and change your life.

Maybe you don’t know how to access your own opinion in the way you thought you did. Maybe you don’t know how to identify your needs because you’ve been so deeply socialized into people-pleasing.

So, to really think about what bothers you and why, what your preferences are and what you have an aversion to, what feels the best in your body and for your body…asking yourself those questions can yield truly magical results.

In practice, this isn’t easy – so many of us are so obsessed with what other people think about us that we don’t even want to look at it.

In this episode, I offer up some exercises you can do to trick your brain into not rejecting the idea that you care what other people think about you but to sit with it. It starts by asking yourself: “What is my dream of how others see me? If I could really dictate everyone’s opinion of me, what would it be?”

I push you to go to those best-case scenarios so that you can unearth the true “why” behind your desire to be seen in such a way.

What is it you think will help you arrive at worthiness?

Now, there is a huge difference between having a positive and healthy self-image and being narcissistic.

When you are a narcissist, you think highly of yourself and look down on other people. That is not what I’m encouraging here.

When you have a healthy self-image, you think, “I’m already 100% worthy and ovable. Yes I am a miracle, and so are you.”

From this place, worthiness doesn’t come from being better than someone else. Instead, worthiness comes from authentically being you. Not from other people’s opinions, but from being who you are.

In my own life, I’ve noticed that the more I love myself, the more I can give to others, to the world. The more I can love others

That’s what I wish for you.

To know that you’re capable of achieving your dreams, and that you are worthy and lovable by just being YOU, not by what someone else decides or what you think of yourself.

A healthy self-image knows that you’re perfectly imperfect and that you don’t need to be perfect

And the bonus is that you get to see yourself in the way that you most want others to see you. You don’t have to change anything about you. Not your clothes, your weight, your car, or your job.

You can just do YOU. Exactly as you are.

Remember that you are miracle. See what happens if you walked the world believing that you are a miracle, totally worthy.

In This Episode You’ll Learn:

  • Why we spend so much time trying to manage how other people see us
  • How getting to know yourself – your needs, your desires, your preferences – can blow your actual mind
  • The stark difference between a positive self-image and narcissism – and why we want to steer clear of the latter
  • Why loving yourself actually helps you show up for others and contribute to the world in a more real way – and how I realized this in my own life
  • A couple of exercises for developing a stronger self-image – and facing why you care so much about what other people think
  • Why having a healthy self-image doesn’t mean you have to be perfect – and that knowing you are worthy by design is one of the most powerful ways you can be in the world


// Check out Episode 11 for more on How to Stop People Pleasing!

// If you’re new here, grab the starter kit I created at RebelBuddhist.com. It has all you need to start creating a life of more freedom, adventure, and purpose. You’ll get access to the private Facebook group where you can ask me questions! Once you join, there’s also a weekly FB live called Wake the F*ck Up Wednesday, where you can ask questions that come up as you do this work – in all parts of your life.