Ep. 55: Letting Go to Grow

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So many of us – myself included – have had the wrong idea of what will truly set us free.

On some level we know it’s not things like paying off the debt, finding your soul mate, being location independent, losing the weight, finding the perfect job…(ask me how I know).

But we forget this and we think, well sh*t, maybe it IS all that stuff. Or maybe it IS about that once you have kids. Or get older. 

We think maybe it IS what’s going on “out there” that we need to fix.

So we waste tons of time, money, and energy on things that are just a temporary fix. A false sense of freedom. A fleeting sense of happiness.

You’ve heard me say it before and I’ll say it again: freedom, rebels, is a feeling.

It’s the inside job that shifts things. And it ain’t easy. In fact, it’s scary as f*ck.

Waaaay scarier than anything fixing the “outside” would require.

But would you rather never be afraid again anyway? I doubt it. Because all good stuff in life gets scary at some point. Love, Mountains, travels to new remote places…

And if you said yes, you don’t ever want to be afraid again, remember: ships are safe in harbor but that is not what ships are built for. And your the mother effin SS Freedom Ship!

We think feeling anxiety and fear (or disappointment or failure or any of the hard feelings) is something to run from. But they are just emotions. And being afraid to feel them keeps us from so many epic things in life – adventures, deep love, authentic living, discovering our power and living our truth.

True Freedom.

The surprise that most people don’t anticipate is that once you clean up your limiting thoughts and beliefs, all the other stuff tends to follow – the love, the travel, the ideal job, the abundance.

These shifts will require the scary (and exciting) work of completely letting go of who you currently are in order to grow and evolve into our next level – into what’s possible in this one precious life of yours.

Enter: another butterfly analogy. Bear with me!

Many people think caterpillars go into their chrysalis, grow wings, and come out.

What many people don’t know is that the caterpillar actually dissolves.

The caterpillar digests itself by releasing enzymes to dissolve all of its tissues.

If you were to cut open a cocoon or chrysalis at just the right time, caterpillar soup would ooze out. 

But the contents of the pupa are not just a messy blob. There are actually highly organized groups of cells called -get this – imaginal discs – that survive digestion.

Similarly, you need to completely dissolve to become closer to your truth. This is not easy – but that’s doesn’t mean anything is wrong.

However, we get so attached to our current story of who we are, our old thoughts, the same track that keeps playing over and over in our minds. We get attached to our old habits and knowledge base – the facts we know the things we understand, the things we have mastered, the confidence we feel in what we’re doing.

I went through this shedding process so many times in my life: after I was a climbing guide for over a decade and went back to nursing school at 30 years old, and again when I wanted to get my doctoral degree and learn a whole new set of skills. And again when I became a mom; when I went back to get a post-doc in psychiatry and mental health nursing; when I then went to study psychedelic-assisted therapy.

We need to open up to feeling like we don’t know what the hell is going on and being ok with learning a whole new way of thinking and new ways of being in the world.

So it’s important that we not identify too strongly with thoughts and our old ways of being.

I want to point out that sometimes this even means being ok with our values changing, because as we grow and change, we may find those shift as well.

We need to consider it’s ok for our beliefs to change too, because remember, our beliefs are just thoughts we’ve had over and over again.

Your thoughts create your results. 

And whatever thoughts you have now are what created the results you have right now, the life you have right now.

So, if you want to create a different result, you will need new thoughts, new beliefs, because by definition, the thoughts that got you here won’t work to get you there

Like Einstein said, “We cannot solve our problems with the same thinking we used when we created them.”

You, me, WE are MADE to let go of our old ways of thinking and being to evolve into our next iteration. We need to shed our thoughts and beliefs that no longer serve us.

And it takes a helluva lot of energy and courage…

and you feel really really vulnerable for a period of time…

and you want to move through it faster and wish it wasn’t taking so damn long

and you feel like you don’t know SHIT.

All over again.

But it’s absolutely essential to growing and learning and evolving while simultaneously peeling off the outside layers until we arrive at our essence, our core truths, our gift, the reason each one of us was born and the gift we alone are to bring to our people.

The gift only YOU can bring.

Topics in this episode: 

// The stages of letting go of our OLD way of being
// How being attached to our habits, identity, and old thought patterns stifles our evolution
// What lobsters have to do with any of this (trust me – it will blow your mind)
// One key way you can start shedding things that no longer serve you – today



// Check out Episode 14 on how to believe new things

// Sign up for my free LIVE training on how to Speak Up and stay in your power in uncomfortable situations. Go to NaughtyBuddhist.com. (If you get to this after it’s gone live, sign up and you’ll be taken to the recording.)

// If you’re new to the squad, grab the starter kit I created at RebelBuddhist.com. It has all you need to start creating a life of more freedom, adventure, and purpose. You’ll get access to the private Facebook group where you can ask me questions! Once you join, there’s also a weekly FB live called Wake the F*ck Up Wednesday, where you can ask questions that come up as you do this work – in all parts of your life.

// If you’re interested in finding out more about how to free your mind and free your life, join Freedom School. Enrollment is open, and we are diving DEEP into ways to cultivate clarity and courage so you can create your best life. There are also some sweet bonus courses for you there. It will set you up to live the best version of you in the year to come. Learn more at JoinFreedomSchool.com