Ep. 59: The Mother / Father / Parent Wound

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We got the parent wound from whomever took care of us the most during our formative years. Despite their best intentions, they messed us up. Or at least that’s how we often think of it. In reality, it also has a lot to do with how we relate to our experience with them.


The mother/father/parent wound comes in all shapes and sizes:

  • They can involve one parent or both.
  • They can also be caused by a parent who was absent
  • They can occur if a parent is overbearing, neglectful, abusive, hyper-critical or engaging in other inappropriate behavior.
  • They could also be to do with how your parents interacted together.


From narcissistic mothers who always made everything about themselves and totally ignored the needs of their children to parents who had substance abuse disorders and neglected us…


No matter what the details, this is what most of my clients want to know: 

Will it always be like this with my parent/s? Is there any possibility of healing? What can I do to not get hooked so easily?


The good news? Yes, we can make progress towards healing and not getting hooked.


The bad news? It does not mean you’ll start feeling great about your relationship during the process and that your parent(s) will be farting rainbows.


How? Well, to start off, we can accept the relationship as it is, and understand that it (and they) won’t just magically change. There is great peace and healing in that, alone.


It’s also important to know that no matter what our perceptions (or misperceptions) about our childhood experiences are, some amount of wounding is inevitable and, in a certain sense, necessary.


In the end, Only the individual who experienced the trauma can decide on the way forward. There are many paths.

In this episode, you’ll learn:

// How to change our relationship to our traumatic experiences
// The misperceptions (or thought errors) we all have around our childhood
// Why not accepting the past keeps us stuck in our suffering and prevents healing
// How our unhealed parent wounds disconnect us from one another in society
// What “spiritual reparenting” is and how it helps heal more than just ourselves
// The slow but true path back to deep connection, with ourselves and each other
// How freeing ourselves from the “hook” of the parent wound also frees our parents


// If you’re new to the squad, grab the starter kit I created at RebelBuddhist.com. It has all you need to start creating a life of more freedom, adventure, and purpose. You’ll get access to the private Facebook group where you can ask me questions! Once you join, there’s also a weekly FB live called Wake the F*ck Up Wednesday, where you can ask questions that come up as you do this work – in all parts of your life.

// If you’re interested in finding out more about how to free your mind and free your life, join Freedom School. Enrollment is open, and we are diving DEEP into ways to cultivate clarity and courage so you can create your best life. There are also some sweet bonus courses for you there. It will set you up to live the best version of you in the year to come. Learn more at JoinFreedomSchool.com

// Check out Episode 24 on being with difficult emotions