Ep. 64: Cultivating Radiant Inner Confidence – Ziji

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If you’ve been around me for any time at all, you’ve definitely heard me talk about Ziji. Ziji is all about confidence. But not just any confidence.

Ziji is a Tibetan word that means radiant inner confidence.

What makes it so…essential to a full, meaningful life of freedom, adventure and purpose?

Let’s start by imagining what life was like before anything “bad” ever happened to us. As we grow and learn, we see the outside world as a place with both good and bad experiences. Over time, as we experience the bad ones, we want to protect ourselves from the hurt we feel. So we lock ourselves down. We shut the windows and doors – and the opportunities that go with them.

Here are a few examples of things that cause us to close off to the world and shut those windows and doors of opportunity:

  • Being told it isn’t realistic to live our passions (dreaming shuts down!).
  • A partner leaving you for someone else (trust shuts down!).
  • Hearing your parents argue day and night about money (being comfortable with money and abundance shuts down!).
  • Putting on your first art show and nothing sells (believing you can be successful living your passion shuts down!).

We lock ourselves down in these moments because we want to be safe. We think we’ve managed to protect ourselves from those bad experiences ever happening again, but we’ve also closed ourselves off to any possible opportunities, joy, and light. We don’t take risks where there is even the remote possibility of failing. 

But the result of not taking any real risks is you never know what might actually be possible should you live life full-out. And you’re scared as hell that you don’t have all your bases covered and something is going to sneak in and knock you around again. And it probably will. 

Why do we protect ourselves with such fervor? Usually, it is because we don’t think we’ll be able to take what comes next, that we’ll be able to handle it again, or because we imagine the worst case scenario and we know we just don’t LIKE being uncomfortable (and its myriad manifestations of intensity)! 

We are lacking…ziji

In her book Unconditional Confidence, Pema Chodron describes life as standing at the ocean’s edge. There will always come a wave that will knock us down. When the huge scary ones in life arrive, we try to protect ourselves by running or grounding ourselves against them. 

The thing is, the ocean is powerful. The waves we’re talking about here always knock us down. It’s just part of being human. Like in last week’s episode about how Being Human is Hard. You can try with all your might to be “strong,” plant your feet, and not get taken out… but it’s exhausting, and once you’re knocked down, you’re just more tired at the end of it all. But what we seem to fail to notice is: we ALWAYS get back up! 

So our fear in the end isn’t in the waves themselves… it is the fear that we might not get back up.


So instead of trying to protect yourself, remind yourself of all the times you have gotten up in your life. THAT is where true radiant inner confidence – Ziji – comes from. And you can’t develop Ziji without having been knocked down and getting back up again. 

If you start to embrace the waves, and if you cultivate your Ziji, your inner confidence, when these waves take you down, you will get up faster and faster each time. And the waves will feel smaller and smaller each time. And somewhere deep inside, you will know that wondering “what if” is a hell of a lot worse than getting knocked down and getting back up. ZIji is inside you. In all of us. 

The waves in life WILL happen, whether you accept them or not (they have!). 

You WILL get knocked down (it’s happened!). 

And you WILL get back up (you DID!). 

So keep those windows and doors open, let in the light and the opportunities. The rewards are priceless: joy, fulfillment, passion, unshakeable confidence, contentment, peace of mind, growing beyond your wildest dreams, doing what you never thought possible, inspiring others around you to do the same. 

So do it. Ziji Up! The perfect antidote to fear is action…even small action.

Bring it: make a list of the times you’ve been taken down by a wave and stood up again. See this as proof of what you already know: you have all you need inside of you.

What have you been putting off doing, or saying? Do it! What grudge have you been holding? Let it GO! Most importantly, who have you been putting off BEING? Be it now!

In this Episode, you will learn:

// Why we shut down from opportunity, and why it will always fail
// The REAL reason we’re afraid to take risks
// How to cultivate Ziji – your inner confidence
// How to believe new things
// Why we NEED to adventure


// Listen to the episode about Why We Need to Adventure

// Check out this episode about Cognitive Dissonance and How to Believe New Things

// Want to join us for 6 months of magic and adventures in the Adventure Mastermind? Of course! Head to www.AdventureMastermind.com – applications open soon

// If you’re new to the squad, grab the starter kit I created at RebelBuddhist.com. It has all you need to start creating a life of more freedom, adventure, and purpose. You’ll get access to the private Facebook group where you can ask me questions! Once you join, there’s also a weekly FB live called Wake the F*ck Up Wednesday, where you can ask questions that come up as you do this work – in all parts of your life.

// If you’re interested in finding out more about how to free your mind and free your life, join Freedom School. Enrollment is open, and we are diving DEEP into ways to cultivate clarity and courage so you can create your best life. There are also some sweet bonus courses for you there. It will set you up to live the best version of you in the year to come. Learn more at JoinFreedomSchool.com