Are you confused about what your purpose is – your soul purpose? If so, this Episode is for you, because confusion about one’s purpose is often a sign of something more insidious going on.
I noticed a pattern in my Adventure Mastermind groups when people are confused about their purpose. It seems so…legit to say we are confused.
We can think, “I am so confused about what I’m supposed to be doing! I want to be clear first so that I don’t waste time, money and energy on the wrong thing. If only I was clear, I’d be able to take action and have the courage to take those risks you talk about.”
“If only I was clear.”
And it seems innocent enough. Of course we don’t want to waste time, money and energy on the wrong things.
People agree with us wholeheartedly: don’t quit the job, leave the relationship, start the biz, go back to school until you are absolutely clear.
But the sneaky truth is that when you get clear, then yeah – you will then need to start taking action and taking risks and – very likely – making people uncomfortable, disappointing some people, fail a few times, risk embarrassment or humiliation.
Remember: our brain evolved with the motivational triad of seeking pleasure, avoiding pain, and doing what’s easy. And living one’s soul purpose is often none of the above.
So being confused actually helps us stay comfortable and seemingly safe – even when we are also regretting we are not living our true purpose and authentic life.
Usually, my clients DO know what their purpose is. They just can’t believe that it’s worthy or that it is a viable way to live life.
Or they are very afraid of what would happen if they actually claimed their purpose because it is too…rebel of them.
You may know that I called this podcast Rebel Buddhist because learning how to free our minds so we can free our lives – instead of seeking freedom through something outside of us – is inherently a rebellious act. Siddhartha Guatama was a rebel of his time – going against what culture was encouraging, what his family was encouraging.
It is completely counter culture. Completely NOT what advertising and marketing and the consumer-based culture wants us to do and believe.
And when you look at most people who are living their purpose – which I totally get off on, BTW – it is often not something society is giving out any awards for in a widespread way.
The artists whose parents are always encouraging them to have a backup plan or maybe major in something else. The dirtbag climbers. The dancers. The documentary filmmakers. The writers.
Sure, at the highest echelons people give awards for these things. But in general, it’s not like culture at large jumps for joy when the announcement is first made of I am going to be a dirtbag climber or ski bum or tightrope walker (you have to watch Man on Wire).
Alex Honnold in the documentary The Alpinist, about the soul-driven alpinist Marc-Andre Leclerc, said something to the effect of people think free soloing is crazy. They think you’re a daredevil and dumb and an extreme risk taker but when it goes really well, you’re a hero.
So we often resist being clear about our purpose because what I’ve seen is that we realize we have a Rebel Purpose.
We have a kind of knowing about what it means we’ll need to do if we get clear about it. The risks we will have to take. The possible rejection. The likely failures along the way. The people we will disappoint and the difficult conversations we will need to have.
It’s scary AF.
And this is why confusion about purpose is often an indulgent emotion. It keeps us safe in harbor, but as John Shedd said, that is not what ships are built for.
That is not what you were built for.
Confusion keeps us from committing and taking action and doing scary shit.
Have you been confused about your purpose for a long time? I’m willing to bet you DO know your purpose but it’s a bit more rebellious than your brain is comfortable with – and what your family or society is comfortable with.
I know this was true for me. Graduating college – which my immigrant mother and disabled father had hoped would bring me a life of ease and abundance – to then work as a climbing guide starting at $55 a day and live out of my car. Not popular at first. But I was blessed that they didn’t argue with me to stop. (Thank you oodles, mom and dad!)
Later, leaving a full-time position at a lucrative healthcare practice to be a… life coach and altered states guide??!!!!!
But listen – culture is meant to evolve, and we are each are a key part of that.
I believe that this is why we each have our own soul purpose – to contribute in whatever way we are meant to to the evolution of culture expansion, of culture being more kind, compassionate, loving, creative, inclusive, diverse, exciting! For new ways of being in the world. Paradigm shifts. Radically new ways of being.
So if you’re finding your confused about your purpose – you’re not alone. I’ve been there. Many of my clients (maybe all?) have been there.
Ask yourself, maybe, just maybe, am I actually clear, and it’s a Rebel Purpose that will make me – and everyone around me – uncomfortable when I claim it?
And listen to that still, small voice when it whispers, “Yes.”
In this episode you’ll learn:
// How to spot if confusion is an indulgent emotion (spoiler alert – it almost always is)
// Why we’d rather be confused than clear
// The price we pay when we don’t claim our soul purpose
// Episode 71: How to Find Your Purpose
// If you’re new to the squad, grab the Rebel Buddhist Toolkit I created at RebelBuddhist.com. It has all you need to start creating a life of more freedom, adventure, and purpose. You’ll also get access to the Rebel Buddhist FB group, and tune in every Wednesday at 11:30am PST as I go live.
// Want to dive into this work on a deeper level? To study it and practice it together? Check out Freedom School – the community for ALL things related to freedom, inside and out.
It’s also where you can get individual help applying the concepts to your own life. It’s where you can learn new coaching tools not shared on the podcast that will blow your mind even more, and it’s where you can connect over all things freedom with other freedom junkies just like you and me. It’s my favorite place on earth and it will change your life, I guarantee it. Come join us at JoinFreedomSchool.com. I can’t wait to see you there.