How to recover when you screw things up

yodaSoooo…I didn’t show up in the best way a few days ago {tail between legs}. My partner and I had a blowout. We were both sleep deprived, dealing with catching up with logistics after being away from home for a month, and simultaneously planning to host Thanksgiving dinner at our house.
But even deeper than that, I do know that the issue ultimately stemmed from me not caring for myself.
Let’s rewind.
As we know, its never about what you’re actually arguing about. When you get to what the real issue is, there’s nothing to argue, because you begin to acknowledge the true feelings and desires at hanf, and that opens our hearts instead of shuts them down. But until we dig deep, we argue, and it’s about something way more trivial than your feelings.
Case in point: my husband made a request. The request pissed me off. You’d have thought he asked me if he could live in polygamy for a year. But that wasn’t the request.
He was asking me for something he wanted and needed – and the time to do that.
I felt like I would certainly LOVE to be able to do that too, but here I was barely getting in my little bits of me-time and how freakin’ audacious it was that he ask me for even MORE time for himself!!!!
And suffice it to say the timing of the request pretty much sucked. Royally.
In the end, I had an out-of-body experience and was lit into an angry rage. I yelled. Loudly. I was so angered and hurt. Then I started sobbing because I realized I was yelling in front of my baby, and I felt ashamed. I grew up in an abusive situation, and I did not want any of that energy to enter into the family I was creating.
I stopped. I asked that he not speak to me so that I could calm down. I went into my bedroom and cried with that ugly crying face we get when we are truly sobbing messy sobs. I called a girlfriend and asked if she could listen to me. Not help. Just listen. And she did just that.
I hung up the phone. Took a deep breath. And splashed cold water on my face.
I walked out into the living room, still angry. But not full of rage.
Doesn’t it suck how when we are overtaken by our emotions, it is so much harder to remember that they are simply energy, and that we can allow ourselves to simply observe them first and not act on them???!!!
After some time had passed, my husband and I reconnected. I realized that what I was angry about was that I was not asking for the same kind of time for myself. That I was feeling hurt and unloved because he wasn’t advocating for my self care, when I spent so much time supporting his.
I requested that I needed more from him than just encouraging me to go to a yoga class or for a run when it was convenient for him – I needed him to be willing to be inconvenienced (at times) by my self-care in the same way I allowed myself to be inconvenienced for his. This would allow me to make requests for myself more often, rather than editing out my feelings when I thought it would be inconvenient.
I wanted to be able to ask for what I needed when I knew it would be inconvenient for him, and to know that there would be times he’d happily support me in that.
I apologized for yelling – to himself and my 7-month old. He thanked me for doing so, and apologized for not being more thoughtful in his requests.
I felt disconnected from him after that emotional blowout, and didn’t know how to bring us closer again. You see, when something like that happens, there is a breach of trust on both ends.
Here’s what I learned helps to reconnect after big screw ups like that one:

How to Recover When You Screw Things Up

1. Be sincere in your apology – don’t just say “I am sorry.” You can help increase your sincerity by imagining what it was like for that person, and really trying to step into their shoes so you can try to feel their suffering. This will help generate compassion, and help you apology be more sincere.
2. Resolve to not do it again. There is no sense in apologizing for yelling or being rude or being late or any other offense that pisses off someone you love if you continue to keep doing it. If you repeat the behavior over and over, your apology was full of shit. It is not enough to regret an action – you must also work on improving! This will also help your self-esteem and sense of integrity, so ultimately you benefit from it too.
This doesn’t mean you are going to be perfect. It does mean that you set the intention, regularly, to improve – and do so. My favorite Yoda quote, “Try not. Do…or do not. There is no try.”
3. Apply an antidote, which is often an action that is the opposite of what you did. That doesn’t mean that in my example, I need to talk sweet nothings because I yelled. But it does mean that I speak with gentleness and go out of my way to build emotional trust (both of us are to do this, by the way!).
4. Investigate what your trigger was. Was it a word? A situation? Fatigue/hunger/pain that was going on in the background? For me, it was the perfect storm of sleep-deprivation, stress from having to catch up on a month’s worth of mail/logistics/house stuff AND hosting Thanksgiving, and the lack of adequate self-care.
5. Make it a practice – no…a DEVOTION – to attend to your triggers, and to do the work to improve your character. We don’t get to say, “I’m a yeller. Deal with it,” or “I’m kind of selfish. You know that about me.” Nuh uh. For me, I scheduled yoga classes until we fly out of Anchorage again. I negotiated that I have regular time on vacations to do whatever I want whenever I want and not have to wait to see if it is convenient for my husband’s next adventure. As a couple, we are working on speaking to each other with the same kindness and patience that we would with our friends, and not take our proximity and intimacy for granted.
6. Be kind to yourself. I felt deep shame when I saw myself yelling in front of my daughter. I give deep thanks that I have done the work for so many years that I know I AM NOT MY EMOTIONS. I am not my body, my thoughts, or my emotions. This allows me the space to do the work, to know I am capable of it, to be able to create a longer pause between trigger and response. And I know I will continue to improve. This doesn’t give you free reign to do whatever knowing you will eventually improve. But what it does mean is that we don’t get to be stuck behind stories of being incapable of change. We are capable of anything!
So there it is. Doing the work is messy. Welcome to my mess – and my mop! Share with me below how you clean it up in your life. We are all in this together!

How to Pick Your Talisman

What do all of these photos have in common? (Hint: you might need to enlarge them to find out)

IMG_0645IMG_1057IMG_3466IMG_4374IMG_9155

These were taken years apart…and at really wildly different stages of my life (single, dating, engaged, pregnant, married, a new mama…) and the only reason I don’t have even older ones in here is because my computer recently crashed and I can’t bring myself to deal with the tech-aspects of recovering my photos and reorganizing them.

The one things that is common in all of these if the fact that I am wearing my absolute most favorite piece of jewelry: my black pearl and leather necklace.

There’s something about it. Simple, elegant, and badass all at the same time. It’s feminine, earthy, oceany and exotic. It goes with pretty much everything, and I never take it off. Well, except for massages. I take it off for those.

I can wear it in saltwater and in the shower and in my yummy pampering baths. The leather gets softer and softer, and the pearl gets more rich when it is spending time in the ocean…from whence it came.

Why do I wear it all the time? It’s not just about convenience, although it is pretty awesome that I have my elegant badass piece of jewelry on at all times.

It is about the way it makes me feel.

The funny thing is people don’t always get it. They say to me, “You are always wearing that necklace! What’s up with that?” or, “Yup…there’s Ana and her necklace” as if there’s something wrong with that.

I don’t give a shit, because you don’t ask someone, “Why are you always wearing the same wedding ring?” Why not? Because it symbolizes something eternal and ineffable.

Same with my black pearls and leather. They help me step into my sexiness, my connection to nature, my power and timelessness, my femininity and my badass. When I wear my necklace, I don’t think about if it’s the “right” piece.

It know its the freakin’ right piece.

My husband showed his knowing of me back in the day, when he proposed to me with a ring of one beautiful black pearl on leather.

How could I not say yes?!

I had heard of talismans before, in my teenage years when I explored Native American culture, in my 20s when I delved into shamanism, and again more recently, when bullshit exorcist (and one of my biz coaches) Fabeku Fatunmise asked me what talismans I would choose for myself.

But at that time, it had never occurred to me that I had worn one for over 7 years.

It was about a month ago, when taking it off for a massage, that I realized how right it felt to have it on, and how naked I felt without it.

My necklace was bought by me, for me, on a surfing trip after my recent divorce and my second more-than-annoying run in with cancer. It was a splurge, and it felt absolutely right.

I have never questioned it.

I put it on in the shop, the sound of the ocean waves crashing just outside. The stunning French woman behind the counter at Pachamama looked at me and said, in a romantic accent through her full lips, “Yesssss. You must geeeet zat.”

Oh hellz yeah.

I wear it every day…it’s been on me when I cry, when I skinny dip under the moon, when I reach the summit of the highest peak in Mongolia – pregnant. I was wearing it through breakups when I growled at an ex in Vegas (yes, I literally growled), and wilderness trips with my girlfriends amongst granite peaks.

It was on me when I started my business, when I quit my J.O.B., when I moved to Alaska, when I sold my condo in Telluride, when my heart was aching. My baby can pull on the leather without me fearing she’ll break it, and when she sticks it in her mouth, she is tasting continents and oceans and sweat and tears.

I used to think talismans were something you had to look at a lot to get their power. But now I realize it was simply by knowing what it symbolized for me, and by choosing to hold it close to me, that I shared its energy and it became my talisman.

I think talismans are important. I’m a bit too much of a multipassionate to commit to a tattoo, but if I ever conjured one up that felt like it would fit forever, I’d probably get one. So, I’ll stick to my necklace for now. I also have other stones, and fabrics, and essential oils that I use.

What are your talismans? What are those things in your life that when you connect with them, you step into your highest truth and power?

wonderwomanmugIf you don’t have any, what are one or two you can think of right now? Here’s another one of mine – I use it before many of my coaching calls with clients and sip exquisite teas with heavy whipping cream…

How to Pick Your Talisman

If you’re having trouble, here are some tips:

  • If you don’t know where to start, begin with getting clear on how you feel when you are tapped into the flow. If you need more help with this, check out the free Clarity + Courage course. This could be one feeling or a bunch of feelings, but whatever it is, be clear about what this FEELS like, and don’t get caught up in the word you use for that feeling. THEN, pick your talisman based on if it helps you feel that way.
  • Do you have any go-to items of clothing or jewelry that you wear when you’re feeling down? How do they make you feel? If it’s feeling more connected to your truth and your inner power (aka ziji), then this could be a talisman for you.
  • Are you attracted to certain stones or materials? Like granite, or quartz, lapis lazuli, silk, velvet, leather…Do this make you feel connected to your most magnificent self?
  • Try to pick things that are accessible to you at all times, or at least easily accessible. That way you can tap into them when needed or on a regular basis.
  • Is there a movie you love to watch that, when you’ve gotten to the credits, you feel like anything is possible, or that you are calm and centered and grounded and at peace, or however the hell you really want to feel? For me, it’s movies like The Matrix, or Empire Strikes Back. When I watch those, even making the bed becomes a Jedi practice.
  • Is there a song, an essential oil, a flower, a picture (you get the idea) that helps you tap into this juicy feeling of yours?

Happy talisman hunting!

How do you handle bumps in life?

Head shot of worried womanI sat there breathing slowly, my eyes slightly closed, and my palms slightly sweaty. I tried keeping my eyes open and taking in the beautiful views, but then I would just think about crashing into the dangerously cold water below, or clipping one of the ridges we were really close to when the plane would drop a few feet in the turbulence. It was a small plane – only 7 passengers and their luggage could fit.

I had my 5-month old baby close to me as I wore her in a Moby wrap, and wrapped my arms tightly around her. I tried to think of as many positive thoughts as I could. “We are safe,” I would chant inwardly. I visualized a protective bubble around us, and every time the plane dropped, I would take a deep breath and try to relax myself.

One of my spiritual teachers taught me to make sure that I had positive thoughts at the time of death, so that my soul wouldn’t be “thrown” into a negative next life. I remembered this – while realizing I was ironically remembering it because I thought I might die – and changed my thoughts to be more positive.

Some girl with a rhinestone headset on kept trying to talk to the pilot, and I wanted to say, “Shut the fuck up and let the man concentrate!” But she was up front and I was tucked in the back. And to yell it would have potentially distracted the pilot.

Before takeoff, the pilot said, “Make sure your seatbelts are on very tight, because it’s going to be really bumpy until we get out past the hovercraft landing pad.”

“Oh, cool!” one of the guys in front of us said. He was a hunter dressed in camouflage, trying to be nonchalant. Once the bumps started, he and the other three men in front of us were silent the entire time. Absolutely silent, and looking straight ahead.

My husband kept trying to give me a freakin’ expedition planner series the whole time, saying things like, “See over there? It seems you could packraft across to that other island pretty easily” or “See that beach over there? I stored some whale bones over there last time I was here. We should hike out there…I think we could get there by gaining that ridge…” He loved plane rides – bumpy or not – for the free flightseeing tour.

Making the most of his thriftiness, I suppose…

I looked at him sternly. “I am not listening to anything you’re saying, or looking at any of those spots, until this plane lands.”

Bumpy rides were never my favorite thing, but ever since I had my baby, I dislike them even more. I almost quit working in the bush entirely because I hate these flights. But I love working with the people in the villages more.

The pilot stayed calm, his eyes scanning all around the entire time, looking for signs of bad gusting winds or topography that would signal possible worsening turbulence in that area.

Maia slept the whole time, enjoying the “rocking.”

We got out of the turbulence and my hands relaxed. Easy conversation began up front. I started to point out the beautiful peaks above the clouds to my husband, asking if he knew their names.

The plane landed and I clapped. I clap every time the plane lands, and have been doing so for years, ever since the entire plane started clapping after our landing on a small plane flight in Nepal. It made sense to me – it IS a miracle that we can get through the air in a huge heavy metal thing. We should be freakin’ throwing confetti every time a place lands!

After my adrenaline subsided, I began to reflect on the different ways we all dealt with the situation: silence, talking too much and too loudly, affirmations and visualizations, visual distractions, feigned humor…

How do you deal with the bumps in life? I don’t think one way is necessarily better than the other – that’s not the point of this post. But what I do think is important is to develop an awareness when we are engaging in one of these activities.

It’s a signal to us that something is making us nervous. Maybe it’s something good, like your Big Crush starting a conversation. Maybe it’s something very objectively dangerous, like my small plane ride in major turbulence (we had two days of cancellations due to weather, and we flew out in a small window of “good enough” weather).

Either way, start noticing what you do. Don’t disregard it – it’s info…just like your emotions are information about what you need or don’t need and whether you are meeting said needs; and just like your when your body has aches and pains, it is telling you it needs something.

Unless what you do compromises other people’s needs –  like the woman talking to the pilot in an obnoxious way on my plane (he eventually told her to cut it out) – I don’t think you even need to change these responses unless you want to. Perhaps your response is getting in the way of something you want, or perhaps it is simply incongruent with the way you want to show up in the world.

But definitely know and understand how you respond to life’s little  – or big – bumps.

Here are some tips:

1) Recall 5 different stressful/fearful/anxious/uncomfortable situations

2) Do you recognize any patterns in how you handled it? Or perhaps you react a certian way with each different type of stressor (relationship vs work vs financial vs physical danger)?

Assess all areas such as your body (your posture, noticing any tension, shallow breathing, tight chest, etc), voice, hand gestures, eyes (do you look at the ground, make eye contact, or have eyes darting all over the place)

3) Are you OK with how you are experiencing this stress, or is there something about it you’d like to change? For example, I am fine with my method of focus and going inward and creating positive affirmations and visualizations. It works for me, and doesn’t weigh on others, really. I am NOT OK with how I get fixated on the negative when I am sleep deprived, so I’d like to work on that.

4) Share with me below in the comments – I’d love to hear from you!

Courage and Confidence to Do What it Takes

Part 2 of a 2 Part Series on Clarity + Courage

Once you’ve gained some clarity about who you are, how you want to live your life, and what you want to have, you need to take action to make it all happen. More often than not, this action will require you to tap into your courage. Think you don’t have courage? Think again – it’s in there, deep inside of you!

courageMaking all the amazing shizzle you want happen and taking the risks to manifest your dreams takes a fierce kind of devotion. The kind you need before confidence ever shows up. It takes courage (tweetable!)

What is the difference between confidence and courage? I like to describe it as confidence is what you have when you feel or believe that things will turn out alright, or at least that you’ll be ok with the outcome.

Courage, on the other hand, is what you need when you’re going to do something even though you’re scared – or at least can’t guarantee things will turn out in your favor.

Courage means that even if you’re scared, you do it anyway.

People often ask me what is the most courageous thing I’ve ever done. They usually ask me this knowing that I was an international climbing guide (and one of the few women in that profession, to boot!), working in the Himalayas and leading expeditions in places like Nepal and Alaska.

Or maybe, if they know me a little better, they think it was when I survived cancer – twice.

But the people that really know me understand that my most courageous acts were with some of the more “ordinary” parts of my life. Like getting a divorce. Or quitting my job and starting my own business.

You see, climbing mountains and being diagnosed with cancer definitely required me to summon courage. But deep down inside, there was something in me that knew I was going to be OK. It was a deep knowing…and it seemed to transform my courage into confidence.

I remember being diagnosed with cancer the first time (kidney cancer) and after crawling into bed with my friends, curling into a ball and crying as they hugged me, I sat up, took a deep breath, and said, “I am going to DO this.” And so I did.

The same thing with mountains. I wasn’t they type to climb mountains where 1/10 people die. But I climbed some hard and scary stuff. Still, somehow my courage would move me through the fear, and confidence would take over. I can safely say that I never climbed a peak that I didn’t think I’d survive.

But divorce….that was a whole other ballgame.

You see, I was in one of those “maybe” marriages. It wasn’t a “Hell yes!” or a “Hell no!” kind of relationship. Knowing what to do would have been easy in one of those. Instead, I found myself with a lovely, good looking surgeon, who liked the outdoors, dogs, and made me laugh.

But there was something missing.

I think some people refer to it as passion – the kind that lasts. Whatever it was, I felt like I had to at least define it before I decided I wanted a divorce. Like just knowing it wasn’t right wasn’t enough.

That was one of my first lessons in courage: having a feeling and trusting it is definitely enough.

Then I started my own business, combining my skills as a healer, coach, yogini, functional medicine geek, midwife, adventurer, explorer, and lover of dancing under the moonlight.

The whole clarity bit came in because as a multi-passionate, it wasn’t enough to know what I loved doing – it also became important to know what needed to be important to me NOW. Which, of all my passions, would I benefit most from focusing on for any given day, month, season, or year? I had to learn I didn’t have to pick just one. I had to think creatively!

Courage came about because as I started my own business, I realized that it was the Clarity I had gained that helped me have the courage to quit my awesome job as a nurse-midwife and start my own business. Even though I didn’t know what the outcome would be, I KNEW what I wanted – which made taking the risks completely worth it.

Until I had clarity that my mandala of a business or finding my soulmate was what I was supposed to be doing, it was much harder to leave the marriage, or to quit the job. Clarity was the first step.

Could you imagine leaving a secure and wonderful job or a marriage to a perfectly awesome human being WITHOUT being clear about what you wanted? Not me. Not for those things.

But wait: I want to make something clear here (no pun intended): you shouldn’t always wait for clarity to arrive before taking action. I got more clear because of taking action.

Clarity that what you are currently doing is not what you are meant to do is a good enough place to start. Getting clear enough about your next step and going for it works! You don’t need to wait to know exactly how it will all pan out. That’s what courage is for.

Clarity didn’t arrive by me sitting there and thinking about what I should do, or from making lists, or chatting with friends. I got clear by trying different things, by getting in touch with what things light me up, and which things sapped my energy.

I had lots of relationships that taught me what I clearly did and did NOT want in a partner.

I had experiences with cancer that taught me what I wanted to prioritize in my life.

I had at LEAST three different websites and business names and tag lines before I realized I was a multi-passionate and should plan on never sticking with just one thing.

I want you to have the courage and confidence to listen to your inner wisdom, your intuition, your proverbial inner guru.

No matter what your definition of freedom and happiness is, know that it begins with Clarity and Courage. Don’t wait for your confidence to arrive before taking the next step towards creating the life, the career, or the health you want.

The time is NOW! Share with me the next courageous thing you are going to to below, no matter how great or small. We all need to start somewhere!

Want more? Join my Ultimate Confidence Course, a 7-week, full-on immersion program where you learn my 5-Step proven system for getting clear, managing your inner critic, and cultivating the courage and confidence to manifest the life you want and deserve. Head on over to www.UltimateConfidenceCourse.com to sign up now. Next course starts October 6, 2014.

You can also sign up for my FREE 7-Day Clarity + Courage Course. You’ll receive a gorgeous 52-page activity book, daily email prompts to help cultivate Clarity and Courage, a group forum, and recordings of past live calls where I teach you skills, laser coach, and answer pressing questions. Go to www.DefineYourFreedom.com to join the tribe!

Note: This is Part 2 of a 2-Part Series on Clarity + Courage. For Part 1 – Clarity – click here for the guest post on Maia Toll’s blog

 

Ana Verzone is a skilled Boredom Slayer, Thrive Maximizer, and Mindset Alchemist. As the original Freedom Junkie, she is devoted to helping passionate women create their own unconventional lives of freedom, adventure, and purpose on ALL levels – from their cells to their spirit.

How to Decide What to Let Go Of – Getting Rid of Things Part 2

365lpgAs I dive into radically simplifying my life to create more true freedom, I decided my next step was to tackle my storage area downstairs. We pretty much live upstairs in our two-story house, and use the downstairs only to visit the laundry room or to prepare the guest rooms for visitors.

There is a lovely large living-room-sized area that most would use as an entertainment room, but we don’t watch TV and only rarely have time for movies these days, so it goes largely unused by us…except for the space I take up with storage.

There are boxes and boxes of books down there (and more in the small storage-cottage in the backyard that needs to be fixed up still). There are also bottles of potions and herbs and tinctures. Tubes of lotions and creams and samples I’ve received over the years. Layers and layers of clothes that I haven’t used in months, maybe years…All tucked away for “just in case” moments, or to “maybe give someone to use when they’re visiting.”

There’s old mixed tapes given to me by high school boyfriends, exquisitely written love letters that I received in my 20s, photos of when I thought I looked particularly hot when I was 13 and had big hair. Birthday cards, ticket stubs from trips to Paris and Istanbul, notes from my father who passed away in 2008.

And in my process of simplifying, I admit that it is very, very hard to decide what to let go of. Isn’t an exquisite love letter worth holding on to? But what am I really holding on to? Am I holding onto the idea that someone actually loved me that way, just in case I feel unloved – or worse, unlovable – someday?

What about the memory of the person that wrote me the birthday card, or the images that ticket stub from my first Turkish bath experience brings up?

And my books…I LOVE books. When I moved up to Alaska, so much of my U-Haul was filled with books. That was probably dumb, as I likely could have bought all those books again for the same price it cost me to create room for them in a larger U-Haul. But the reality is, I have a connection to those books. I held them. I took notes in them and dog-eared the pages. I had major ah-has and joys and new ideas and adventures that came from them. It was worth bringing them up. And the scent…ahhhh the scent of my books…

downstairsstoragesmallBut check out the mess all these “memories” creates. And this is just my downstairs storage area after I’d already been at it a few hours! I was so caught up in getting going, I forgot to take a true “before” photo, when the boxes where stacked 4-5 boxes high and I was trying ti “hide” them with a Guatemalan cloth draped over the top. Grant it, it is a bit more messy because I unpacked several of the boxes, but you can get an idea of the amount of “stuff” down there. Zoiks!

There are even more boxes out back. They stack 4 high as well, some super heavy with books, others with pillows and picture frames and potpourri sachets…

I was able to sift through about half this stuff in an afternoon and set aside a bunch of things for the thrift shop or consignment or the garbage can. But it’s the small things – the letters, the ticket stubs, the cards – that I struggle with letting go of.

photoOne thing I have to remember is this: letting go of the thing doesn’t mean letting go of the memory. I think at times we worry that if we let go of something, we may even forget the memory of how good it felt, or the joy.

But the reality is, that memory is always there. The “thing” can be a trigger for the memory, but if we held onto things for each memory we wanted to have, our lives would look way messier than even my downstairs storage area.

Of course, there are some things worth holding onto for the memory it jogs – like the notes from my father that bring a sweet tenderness to my heart.

But the old love letters? I don’t really need those anymore. I wish there was a place we could send good love letters when we were ready to let go of them, so that they can be appreciated by others, though…

There’s also a lot of other things I am ready to release, even though they make me feel good when I think of the memories they bring up.

I am learning that letting go involves a deep sense of confidence and courage. In order to let go, I need to trust and know that I would be able to create that once again in my life, if and when I should need it again.

When I let go of an old love letter, I have the confidence that I can call in love like that into my life again should I need to. When I let go of a ticket stub up the Eiffel Tower, I have the confidence I can go back there whenever I would like. When I let go of a sweet birthday card, I have the confidence that there will be many more of those to come.

Ultimately, in order to let go, I need to believe that I am lovable, worthy, and capable of manifesting whatever I wish.

No wonder this shit is so hard to do!

I’ve come up with a few questions I’ll ask myself as I make these decisions:

1) Is the energy I receive from this thing received on a regular basis? If not, how often?

2) Is the energy I receive more than the energy I put into holding onto this thing – whether energy in the form of physical space in my life, mental or spiritual energy, money, or time?

3) Am I holding onto this because I am afraid I would not be able to manifest the type of memory it creates in me again? If so, I need to seriously consider letting go and instead working on my confidence, courage, and manifesting the feelings and life I want in the present moment.

4) Am I holding onto this because I am afraid I will forget the memory it stirs? This alone is not a reason to let go of something, but it is a point of reflection to begin an honest discussion with yourself about the reasons behind holding onto it.

I’m hoping these questions will continue to help me clear out the clutter. They have been super helpful so far!

Do you have other questions to add to this list? Do you have similar experiences to share? Please let me know below  – I’d love to hear it!

Note: This is one post in a year-long series about me committing to radically simplifying my life over the next year. To see where it began, click here. You can read additional Simplify 365 posts by heading to the Blog.

 

Simplify Your Life – How to Start Letting Go and Getting Rid of Things

365lpgAt the beginning of the month, I committed to a year of radical simplification – at least radical for me. Influenced by my Full On 365 blog, I decided to call it SIMPLIFY 365!

Frankly, I was feeling overwhelmed by the abundance that had entered my life, and wanted to create more time to simply BE. My first challenge is to get rid of things, and Part 1 of this is getting rid of my nice things that take too much energy.

Why start with my nice things? They are going to be harder to let go of, and I tend to start with the harder things so (hopefully) it just keeps getting easier. Plus, I’ll want to sell many of those things, which takes more time. My not-so-nice-stuff I can more easily and readily give away.

Plus, I have way too much crap to sort through to start with the not-so-nice-stuff (there…the real reason;).

BMW on trailerI began by selling my my BMW F650 GS. Here it is loaded in the trailer as I reluctantly bid it farewell. While I really didn’t want to do it, I wasn’t riding it much anymore. Alaska is not the most conducive environment for the cautious rider that I am, and having a baby made it something I probably wouldn’t be doing with any regularity for a few years. It tipped the wrong way in the current equation I am trying to hold in my mind:

Does the Energy In = Energy Received?

Nope. Not anymore!

That’s one of the things I am learning: this process of simplifying life is good to revisit regularly, because our needs change, our identity changes, our priorities shift.

photoWhen we hold onto things that are no longer part of who we are, they can literally and figuratively hold us back. (tweet this)

And holding myself back has nothing to do with creating SIMPLE FREEDOM.

mira skis tellurideThe other project is selling my condo in Telluride. I bought it at the peak of the real estate boom when I fell in love with this stunning box canyon. When the clouds parted as I stepped out to hit the mountain’s slopes for the first time, I looked up valley and a feeling ran through me that I hadn’t felt since I was a climbing guide in the Himalayas. I felt small, and wonderful, and in awe. I bought my condo the next day.

That’s me near outside of my condo above the San Miguel River the day I bought it. And yes, those AT skis were considered PHAT back in the day.

I loved living in Southern Oregon with Ashland’s Mediterranean-like weather, abundant fresh organic and locally grown food, my tight community of cosmically thinking friends, proximity to our local ski mountain, people on the cutting edge of alternative medicine, gorgeous rivers…but it did not have the abundance of BIG mountains that my soul yearned for. It had one big mountain near it – Shasta. But this woman get hot and heavy for mountain RANGES.

Now that I live in Alaska, I’ve got that kind of taken care of;)

So I put my condo on the market recently…at a time where it has dropped in value from when I bought it.

Will I lose money? Yes. Sometimes it just helps to be real, yo.

The question is…how much?

I have a feeling the Universe will support me on this one. My motorcycle sold in less than 24 hours. A good sign. My condo has had almost daily showings since listing it. A good sign.

My life has been filled with good signs, the Universe telling me I am on the right path in creating true simple freedom. Things are flowing.

While my condo is being shown, I am going to now embark on tackling dust and must and likely the gross bits of mice poo as I dive into the storage shed to begin THE GREAT PURGE. Wish me luck!

I will write more about specific tips as this journey continues, but I do know that the first step in learning how to start letting go and getting rid of things is to start with what is easiest and quickest so you can gain some momentum. For me, it happened to be letting go of some big and very nice things. That would give me the most bang for my buck in terms of letting go. And to be honest, selling a motorcycle and listing my condo were a lot easier to do than the alternative: sifting through ALL those boxes in storage…

Please share with me below any tips or stories you have of letting go of things when they no longer served you.

Note: This post is one in a series where I commit to radically simplifying my life in the upcoming year. To read about how it all started, click here.

Simple Freedom – The Beginning of My Journey Into How to Simplify Life

deewilliamsWhen I was at the World Domination Summit, one of the speakers I found particularly inspiring (and hilarious!) was Dee Williams of Portland Alternative Dwellings and author of The Big Tiny. That’s her over there in the superhero cape (she absconded with a Delta airlines blanket). She gave an absolutely motivating talk on minimalism and choosing SIMPLE. She lives in a 84 square foot swelling – and LOVES it.

Listening to her describe the joy of selling her house and building her 84 sqft dwelling and loving every minute of it reminded me of the absolute contentment I felt when I lived out of my car for 7 years.

Everything I owned was in the back of my Volvo station wagon. My prayer flags were hung along the rear windows, and I’d fall asleep under the stars in a place like Joshua Tree, feeling so at peace knowing that all I needed was with me, and that I could go anywhere I pleased and do anything – climb, hike, raft…without having to pack;) I had no utility bills, no cell phone bill, no marketing deadline I had to meet.

I had a PO Box in Santa Cruz that I checked whenever I rolled into town. I forwarded my mail to strange and remote parts of the country if I knew I’d be there awhile. When I needed a shower, I always found one. People took me into their homes and fed me really good food and offered me to sleep in cotton sheets (cotton is so yummy when you’ve been in a sleeping bag most of the year).

Obviously, that’s a whole lot easier of a lifestyle to live in your 20s when you don’t have kids or own a home. However, I’d be amiss to say that having that feeling was impossible as an adult, with or without a family and/or a home.

I know there are nay-sayers who have the excuse that this isn’t possible once you “grow up” and have responsibilities. Our society accept stress and chaos as the norm. We argue that it’s a part of life in our society that we have to accept – most certainly if you’re a successful entrepreneur. But I’ve made a mistake.

In my own way, I’ve let myself get lost in that belief.

I lost sight of my goal – true SIMPLE freedom.

That FEELING of ease, contentment, relaxation along with freedom.

Despite all I have learned about creating freedom in life, I let myself believe that being a successful entrepreneur means being location independent at all costs, that I “have” to blog once a week, that I must have a constantly updated sales funnel, network at all times, and be interviewed on as many podcasts as I could.

I let myself believe that I wasn’t fully living unless I was learning EVERYTHING that I possibly could. Reading in all my free time – or listening to an audiobook or streaming a lecture. I filled every possible minute with something awesome, productive or geeky. I made myself So. Damn. Busy.

Then there’s the STUFF.

When I worked on my money mindset early on in my business (I grew up VERY poor and had to work on the whole money-is-evil thing) and accepted abundance into my life, I let it manifest as feelings AND things: a condo in Telluride at the base of the ski mountain, a home with killer views and an adorable sauna on the hill above the theaters in Ashland. Clothes made of delicious fabrics, a Subaru that was only a year old and Certified Used (I still can’t bring myself to buy a new car LOL;). Vacations where I’d not think twice about the cost. You get the idea.

It was in my mind that as long as I let these things flow and come into my life with ease, that my life would be full of ease as well. However…

My current experience (and I’m open to it changing) is that I was totally wrong.

The reality is, the more stuff you have and the longer your to-do list, the more you have to deal with – whether it’s with ease or not.

It doesn’t mean more stuff is “bad.” You all know me too well to think that I would judge abundance as bad. I’ve worked too hard on my mindset to let that happen;) It just means that whatever and whomever you allow into your life, you have to care for it.

And that takes energy.

This goes for people, things, thoughts…all of it.

When you have a relationship, you need to check in, create time to connect, compromise, talk about what to do for dinner, and have finance meetings. When you have kids you need to make lunches and drive them to school and events and talk to teachers and go to multiple birthday parties.

It means that when you have a condo in Telluride, even though you may put your mortgage and all bills on autopay, you still have to repair fans that break, replace deck furniture, or have someone shovel snow in the winter when you’re not there…

It means that when you have a house on the hill, you need to schedule your utility bill payments, fix plumbing leaks, keep up the landscaping. You need to flip your mattress and touch up the paint and get the moss off the roof.

When you have nice clothes you need to make sure to wash them on gentle cycle and pull out the ones that need to be hung to dry. You need to have hangers that don’t snag. You can’t trust your husband to do the laundry;)

The tchotchke around the house needs to be dusted and moved around to find things.

When you have a business, you need to keep the energy flowing and give and create and let the world know about it so you can help more people. When you have multiple programs and care for them immensely, you revisit them and improve them. This can all be fun – for me it IS.

Most of the time.

But it is really easy to let it get out of control as an entrepreneur. There are so many things you can keep doing, and the task is never done. I’ve watched so many videos about how to create a proper work day when you work from home/wherever you’re at, and taken workshops on time management, avoiding overwhelm, and how to create systems in your business.

And I implement what I learn. I delegate. I have a Virtual Assistant and people who help me do tasks at home. I…try my best.

Yet the bottom line is, running a business, having an abundance of things (even if they’re awesome!), traveling a ton – it takes effort to keep them going.

While all of these things are not bad (and are actually quite yummy!) they are not SIMPLE.

Some will say, “Let it be easy, Ana! What if you let it be easy and effortless?” I ask my coaching clients that sometimes. “What would happen if you just let this be easy?”

The reality is, it would be easier – but it would still be more stuff in my life that I had to care for – even if it was caring for it with more ease!

Again – more ease, but still NOT SIMPLE.

We are here on this beautiful planet with this one precious life (at least in this incarnation) and no matter how “easy” we can make something, the more you have to deal with, the less time you have to NOT deal with things. The less time you have to JUST BE. To stare at the clouds. To sit quietly with a friend.

multitasking Check out this really vulnerable photo I’m sharing of me below. It’s a photo of me breastfeeding, checking email on my iPhone, and looking something up in a book. I’m holding a pen in my mouth (I like to take notes) and while you can’t see it, I’ve got my computer open in front of me on a stand streaming a lecture. And my baby is like…6 weeks old.

None of this was anything I HAD to do. I planned for my maternity leave and pre-wrote emails and posts and had my VA helping me out on social media and with my groups. I LOVE learning and was taking this time to soak up more info, make the most of my time off, and geek out.

Something in me had deep FOMO (Fear Of Missing Out) and was not ok with simply BEING.

My husband took this photo and showed it to me with a joking smile. I laughed back.

I looked at it later and cried.

I had forgotten l’arte di non fare niente: the Italian saying for The Art of Doing Nothing. Hell, I even wrote a blog post about it once. And it was high time to tap into it again.

I wasn’t about to waste this precious time in my life with my new baby on catching up with my FOMO needs. I am so grateful my husband took this picture because it was a big ol’ bitch slap in the face about how present I was being in my life.I was doing cool shizzle, going to cool places, experiencing the miracle of birth and life…learning a TON too! Yet while all these are good things, it was too much.

Here’s the deal: you can earn more money – with ease – and have more yummy stuff – with ease – and do tons of amazing things, be location independent…

But in the end,

Freedom Is a Feeling (tweet this)

And for me, that feeling is supported by simplicity as well.

No matter what your life looks like on the outside – whether it is one filled with travels, adventures, financial abundance, location independence, or none of the above, if you don’t FEEL free, you aren’t.

photoThat’s why meditation and cleanses and spiritual practice are such an important part of my life. I constantly need to cultivate that inner freedom. Freedom from my own sh*t.

Many of you know about my Full-On 365 blog, where after another cancer scare I committed to living Full-On EVERY DAY for a year. It literally transformed my life.

So I stand before you today, fully aware of my need to bring back simplicity and presence into my life, and am committing to a deep process of simplification for the next year.

365lpgLet’s call it Simplify 365, shall we? 😉

I’ll be entering into simplification like I’ve never seen it before. Letting go of things, people, thoughts, and experiences that no longer serve me. I will get rid of many of my nice things – not because they are bad, but because I don’t want to have to take care of them anymore. And I will definitely chuck my not-so-nice things.

I will practice saying, “No” to all that doesn’t create flow and joy in my life. I will reign in my finances so that I understand them and they are easy to assess instead of not paying attention to things simply because it’s never been a big problem (the not knowing creates mental chaos that I need to undo!). I’ll lay out my crap in front of you so you can know that it IS possible to have true simple freedom too. For me, that’s the point of writing about it, after all.

I’ll be blogging about my journey regularly, sharing what Simplification goal I’ll set for that day or week or month, and let you know how I’m doing – my challenges, my successes, my embarrassing truths.

I’ll be using lots of tools as I learn more about how to simplify life: blogs and tips from masters of this art that have been practicing this consistently for years, books, interviews with Simplification masters…and YOU all, who I am sure have lots to offer me on this journey as well.

vulnerabilityBrené Brown inspired me to do this even more authentically when she said, “Vulnerability is the birthplace of innovation, creativity and change.” I’m bankin’ on it!

So feel free to join me on this latest adventure. Maybe it will inspire you to even join me with each challenge I set before myself – or create your own!

My first step? Getting rid of some of my nice things that take up too much energy:

I’m selling my condo in Telluride. At the base of the ski lift. Right on the river. On the top floor. In a crappy real estate market. Ouch. Stay-tuned to see how that goes…

Share your tips or challenges with simplification below – I can tell I’m going to appreciate any help and camaraderie I can get!

Stop Feeling Regret For The Mistakes You Made – a Freedom Junkie Guide

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Sometimes my brain freakin’ amazes me – in an annoying kind of way. Like, how can I go from writing my ecstatic post about all the epic shizzle I manifested in the last year, all the way to feeling guilty that I didn’t manifest a badass life sooner!?

I finally learned how to take off those “shit-colored glasses” (as my friend and client, Rivkah Wood, likes to say) and I think, “Oh wow! Look at this creative and wonderful life! The possibilities are endless! I can’t wait to everyone else to figure this out! Oh, and before I get too happy, let’s not forget all the ways I totally fucked up.”

Smack down!

Sometime in the last 48 hours, I began running through the many times I had hurt others in my life. It started with a seemingly remote situation when I was a kid and came home late because I was out with friends, only to find my cat killing my favorite pet hamster (I could have stopped it if I was home! And now I can only see her looking into my eyes as her last breath left her…). I know that sounds stupid to some, but I feel terribly guilty about that.

Then there was the time I was 16 and yelled at my dad even though he was having an acute schizophrenic episode (talk about proving his delusions!); the time my mom came all the way to visit me in the middle of winter and I treated her curtly and was, well, kind of mean because I was chronically sleep-deprived…and she cried; When I was a teen and I didn’t look my grandmother in the eyes and tell her how much I loved her before she died because, well, I didn’t know she was going to die that day, but I was also so freaked out about seeing her so sick and frail, and my boyfriend was waiting outside, and I thought I could come back later…

I remembered the time I “wasted” while figuring all this relationship stuff out, like when in my 20s and 30s and I was so unclear about what I wanted that I made really bad relationship decisions and totally broke hearts – things that I seemingly could have avoided if I had known better.

I feel guilty that I didn’t figure out detoxing and superfoods, the evils of big agriculture and the beauty of organics sooner – thinking about how maybe I could have prevented my cancers altogether, or felt more vibrant during more of my life, or cooked my family healthier meals…

Why didn’t I keep up my yoga practice longer when I discovered it at 18 years old? Why didn’t I keep up my meditation practice earlier, even when I knew how much my time in Nepal and India had radically changed my worldviews and how I related with others (as early as 19 years old!)?

Ahhhhh! Stop it already!

The reality is, it wasn’t DESPITE these screw ups that I learned to live full-on. It was BECAUSE OF them. Had I not made these mistakes, I think I may not have moved with such earnest towards personal and spiritual growth.

In Buddhism there are 7 realms (BTW they have a Hell realm too). One of the realms is the God realm. Everything is awesome. Everyone is beautiful, there are flowers and shit everywhere (the cool kind of “shit”), food is scrumptuous, people are in perfect health and live a LONG time (like, a bazillion years), and they have the luxury of time to play music, do yoga, have sex, do whatever you want!

“Kind of like California,” one Tibetan Lama said to me.

There is no pain and suffering…until dying begins. Then, after millenia go by in bliss, things are all perfect and they’re sniffing their flowers and being like, “Oh, this smells sooooo good!” and then all of a sudden, the flower starts to smell off…the flower wilts. Its color fades. The leaves droop. Now it smells like moldy socks. Things around them start to decay (all things are impermanent, after all). Their bodies get old. They feel aches and pains…and this shizzle goes on for a hella long time because time is soooooooo drawn out for them. It really, really sucks because they are slowly, slowly dying – and dying is their first experience of suffering. It overwhelms them.

We all die, and for the people in the God realm, dying for them is even more excruciating – mentally and physically. This is because they have never experienced suffering before, and therefore it is that much more … devastating. It brings people in the God realms to their knees, and beyond.

The human realm is considered ideal because we have the ability to use our suffering for growth, and to be acutely aware of the different aspects of reality, to use our senses and our mental faculties to transcend our limited perspectives and experiences. There are other reasons, but I won’t go into an “Intro To Realms” course here.

Bottom line is: Sometimes I made some big mistakes that could have been prevented. I. Know. That.

They happened..we all have them. We also have to have compassion for ourselves. We are all doing the best we can in any given moment.

I have been graced with the experience of taking off the shit-colored glasses and seeing the beauty and possibility and absolutely creative miracle of this world with clearer vision.

The world looks much, much better without them on. And yes, as a result, I can now also clearly see where things could have been done differently before. AND..

I am not going to let myself feel regrets for those mistakes.

If I didn’t learn from them, if I didn’t grow, THEN they would be mistakes worth regretting. But now that I have been through the fire and risen from the ashes  – again and again – I call them human mistakes.

I am sorry for anyone I hurt, any pain or suffering of another being that I could have helped to prevent. And I promise to never, ever do it again.

“Trying” not to do it again is bullshit, by the way. As Yoda says, “Do, or do not. There is no ‘try.'”

AND I will strive to improve the JOY, LOVE, and FREEDOM of all I come into contact with. That is the true Freedom Junkie way.

Deal? Can I stop feeling fucking guilty now? Alright already!

Now take off those shit-colored glasses and be happy. Really happy. You earned it, Badass!

Note: Ana Verzone is a Thrive Maximizer + Boredom Slayer + Mindset Alchemist. With her tribe of Freedom Junkies™ she helps passionate women awaken their lives of freedom, adventure and purpose with confidence, clarity, and focused action – from their cells to their spirit. Her monthly Ziji Up! eZine goes out to thousands of subscribers. If you are ready to take your life and your world to the next level, you can learn more about her coaching programs, schedule a free Strategy Session, and download her FREE Getting Clear Guide by visiting www,AnaVerzone.com

Top 10 Reasons Why Quitting Your Job During a Recession Can Be Perfectly Sane

staythecourseorrisksign

“Don’t ask what the world needs. Ask what makes you come alive, and go do it. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive.”~ Howard Thurman

First of all, this article assumes you would leave your job because it sucks. It sucks for YOU. This does not apply to kick-ass jobs, of which there are many. And it doesn’t matter if another Jane would be totally grateful for the job you have. If you’re not totally happy with your job, read on!

Back in the day, having a job and staying loyal to a company meant something. It meant you would be earning a secure pension, that if you showed up and did your job, you could keep said job until your retired. The same went for other institutions our society had that brought us security.

Things like religion, marriage, real estate/stock market investments, and looking like we had our shit totally together without any flaws added to our sense of safety. We relied on, “Hey, if I work harder and act perfectly, I’ll be more secure.”

Guess what, Freedom Junkies? Things have changed. There is a shift where people are seeing that real security – real confidence – comes when YOU have control over your time, money, energy, and location.

People are realizing that these days you can remain totally loyal to your own job and still get fired because someone bought out your company. Or because they decided to hire someone who is cheaper than you. You can get married and then come face-to-face with the greater than 50% divorce statistics in this country. People move from spiritual tradition to spiritual tradition only to be let down by hypocrisy after hypocrisy.

Things aren’t as they have been, fellow Jedi. Or perhaps things are as they’ve always been, and now we are waking up to TRUTH. Either way: it ain’t all bad.

Here in my corner of the Universe, we like to create our own lives of Freedom, Adventure, and Purpose. Admittedly, this is a lot easier to do when you’ve created your OWN economy and security (although – as many of my clients would attest to – it is still possible as a {gulp} employee).

This doesn’t mean you need to quit your job! But it also doesn’t mean you should NOT quit it without seriously reconsidering the reasons of old-fashioned “security” either. You can create more true freedom when you have more control of your time, money, energy and location.

That, my friends, is true security.

Here are my Top 10 Reasons Why Quitting Your Job Is Perfectly Sane – if you’re in the mood:

1. Having a job is uber-risky. As one of my business coaches Christine Kane says, with a job, your life can radically change with two words: “You’re fired.”

When you create your OWN economy instead of relying on others for your paycheck, you have more freedom. When you know how to create money yourself, you have more confidence as well.

“But it’s a recession!” I hear many peeps say. Yeah, I know. But check it out: my biz is growing EVERY MONTH, people still buy iPhones, my clients have started their own businesses and are flourishing, my own coaches keep making more and more every year during this recession, plays and movies still sell out, flights still get overbooked.

Look around. There is abundance still. Just for different things. Pick a business that you’re passionate about, be kick-ass in delivering that high-quality product or service, and choose a niche that offers something that people want and need.

When you create your own income, you are able to adjust your income based on the value you provide. In a job, you can’t. Instead you have to ask for a raise. Not fun.

2. Life is short. You are going to die. Sorry to break it to you if you haven’t thought of that for awhile – or ever. But you are going to die and you don’t know when. So if not now, when? If not you, who?

You deserve to ENJOY this life. If you haven’t yet created a lifestyle where your fun times outweigh your “work” times, you at least deserve to have the 1/3+ of your life that you DO spend working doing something that lights you UP!

3. You don’t need tons of money to be happy. For realz. I know many of you think this is bunch of BS, but it’s true. Again, sorry to break it to you;) I traveled to dozens of countries making less than $14,000 a year, and even less than $11,000 some years.

If you have kids, a lot can come up in the form of limiting beliefs around how much you “need” to be happy and “responsible.” Well, I came from a family that made less than $60,000 combined a year and am pretty psyched, I have to say. There are plenty more like me who grew up without a lot but learned to create inner – and outer – wealth despite that. I’m not saying you don’t have to aim for earning oodles. It just won’t necessarily make you – or your kids – any happier.

4. If you have kids, they deserve to have a model of a parent who follows their dreams. My friend Stacey Pruim left her secure and successful corporate job to start her own business recently, called Systems Serenity. At one of our Mastermind retreats, she stood up to the microphone and exposed how scared she was about not being “responsible” enough for her daughters by quitting her job. Stacey is a single parent of two. Talk about the potential to have excuses not to quit your job!

In any event, despite the fear of being (or moreso, being “labeled”) irresponsible, she could not go on with her soul shriveling in her cubicle. She wasn’t happy at work – and this leaked into home as well.

Do you know what her daughters said when asked about this decision a few months after it happened? “Mom, you helped us realize that we can do anything.” Shazam!

Stacey is super successful, and has way more time, freedom, and money to be hanging out with her daughters being a kick-ass mom now. And guess who was at our latest retreat? Her 16 year old daughter who is starting to help her out in her business. Awesome!

5. The world needs more people who follow their passion Check out the quote at the top of this article. It’s true. You are a happier person when you do, both at home and in other areas of your life. You also inspire others to do the same.

6. You don’t have to kiss someone’s ass if you don’t want to. Enough said.

7. You get to focus on your strengths and not your weaknesses. Feedback at a job rarely focuses on your strengths. When you’re in business or in a truly good job, your weaknesses are delegated to someone else – either you hire them or you give it to someone else on your team who is really good at it, so everyone is playing their own strengths. And your confidence – as well as sense of security – grows.

8. Our new healthcare laws can provide you and your family with more affordable insurance in 2014. I hope you voted accordingly. Just sayin’. I had cancer twice and didn’t want to quit my benefitted job until I knew I could afford paying for COBRA. But that didn’t stop me. I still quit and have finally been able to get affordable healthcare as a “high-risk” person. Yeehaw!

9. You are creative. Many of us can make money in more ways than one. Go for it! Plus, your money goes further when you are self-employed. You can invest in yourself with pre-tax dollars!

10. You can wear whatever you want = You can create a business that supports your authentic self. I choose my business coaches because of who they are – not because of their slickness. Like with Christine Kane, whom I mentioned earlier – I like how she wasn’t a marketing guru slick dude, but she wore jeans and played guitar and speaks-a my language. I love Marie Forleo because she loves hip hop and cracks me up with her goofy antics and she’s wicked smart. The goofy antics may turn some people off – but they’re not her people. My peeps pick me for ME, not because I pretend to be anyone else. People will want YOU – and what you offer in the way only YOU can – too!

I  summary: I’m not saying to be stupid and quit your job without any kind of safety net (although some people out there would say to go for it even without the net). But what I AM saying is don’t use BS for your excuses. The key here is being very clear about what is BS. Not sure? Post below and let’s figure it out.

Have any of you thought about quitting your job or have actually quit your job? Please share it here and let the tribe support each other in creating our own freedom!

Note: For those of you that want to start a side-job for a bit more fun and inspiration or who want to go for it and start their own biz, I highly recommend my friend Chris Guillebeau’s new best-selling book, The $100 Startup. He’s the author of The Art of Non-Conformity, and more, and this book summarizes a lot of the basics you need to know to get started, as well as offering plenty of case studies to learn from. For my peeps, I’ve got super-discounted hardcopy editions for sale here. Shoot me an email (info@AnaVerzone.com) and I’ll send you one ASAP for only $13 – shipping included. Sahweet deal!

And in case you’re wondering – I’m selling and shipping at cost so not making any money on this. It’s because I believe in this book and I want my peeps to kick ass out there! (PS: Conversely, the link here to his Unconventional Guides site, is an affiliate link, so I do get to buy myself a shot of wheatgrass or something if you buy any of his cool shizzle over there- at no additional cost to you, of course! As you know, I only talk about shizzle I use myself to keep it honest and so you can keep trusting me.)

How to Travel on a Budget like a Bad-Ass – Freedom Junkie® Tips for How to Live a Life of Fun, Passion, and Freedom Without Going Broke

I’ve traveled a LOT. I’ve filled two passports in my lifetime so far (I’m 38), and one even had extra pages, which I’m really proud of;) In fact, the first passport I filled was when I was making less than $14,000 a year. It might have even been less than $11,000 a year but I’d hate to exaggerate. Learning how to travel on a budget doesn’t have to break the bank.

I started my independent travels when in college, on scholarship, working for the Outdoor Recreation Department at UC Santa Cruz to make a bit of extra cash. I was also a New York Times campus paper girl. Suffice it to say, I wasn’t rolling in the dough.

And I didn’t just travel. I danced naked at drum circles on the beach and howled at the moon. I somehow still ate sushi and drank nice wine. I went on full-moon mountain bike rides. I went to hot springs on ocean cliffs as the waves sprayed me under the stars. I climbed mountains and kayaked with dolphins. I surfed, and fell in love on rooftops in Kathmandu.

My life was pretty Badass – and stayed Badass even after I graduated and entered “the real world.”

I want you to know you don’t have to work your ass off for only a few weeks of adventure a year. You can live a super FUN life, every day, even on a budget.

Here are some tips I’ve learned after years of preferring time over money of how to travel on a budget:

Freedom Junkie Tip #1 Expand Your Comfort Zone

Many friends said to me, “I wish I could travel like you. I just can’t afford to!” I’d think, “What??? You make $60,000 a year! Or even $90,000 a year! (Or more!) How could you not afford to when I pulled it off making less than $14,000 a year?”

It wasn’t lost on me that I lived out of my Volvo stationwagon with prayer flags, and that my only utility bill was my cell phone.

True: Lifestyle and comfort zone count. When you don’t require your outside temperature to be in homeostasis 100% of the time, it’s much more affordable. It’s really expensive to do otherwise (e.g. “The Venetian” in Vegas)

What do YOU need to feel comfortable and have a good time? Do you REALLY have to have air conditioning all the time when its a wee bit hot out? Do you REALLY need to have Starbucks coffee wherever you go? Do you REALLY need to have feather pillows and hot water (even if it is 90F out)?

If so, plan on working a LOT to pay for short vacations, because it is pretty tough to meet those standards in most awesome vacation spots, so it will cost you a pretty penny. (Although I have to admit that my friend Chris Guillebeau has managed to do the 4-star thing on a budget too. That’s advanced, but learnable!).

When you expand your comfort zone, you have a whole lot of options that open up – and a lot of great adventures to be had as well!

Freedom Junkie Tip #2 Go for the experience, and not the things

A lot of people come back from vacations talking about how awesome their vacation was because their hotel had an infinity pool and they had a kick-ass flat screen TV and the weather was awesome. Those things ARE all awesome. However, if you can’t afford the TV or the infinity pool, know that meeting a local because you were friendly and social, then getting invited to a party by them, then eating new and strange food they cooked over a fire, and partaking in a neighborhood illegal lobster hunt (before you knew it was illegal), makes for a way better “No shit, there I was!” story. By the way, this doesn’t just happen while traveling. I had the best time in San Francisco – the city I was BORN in – when I ran into some people, socialized, and got invited to the $5 Party Bus for a raucous evening of live, mobile, performing art. My friend found was telling me about how he managed to go on a great trip in his caravan. He doesn’t have a ton of money but he got a great loan from Auto Finance Online. I’d say its worth a look if you’re interested in finding the right caravan for your travels.

Be present, and stop wanting to be doing something or being with someone or being somewhere other than what is happening right now. There is so much juicy life to be had in the here and now, so many opportunities for mini-adventures if we’d just stop looking past the present.

Freedom Junkie Tip #3 What to eat, drink, and buy

Don’t drink too much alcohol unless you budget for it. Alcohol is the most expensive thing in restaurants at home or when you travel. You can get an entire dinner in Thailand for $3 but then spend the same for a glass of wine.

Cook a lot and eat out less while at home AND while traveling. People who cook really well, making yummy simple meals, are badass – and people will think it is really cool that you can do it too.

Learn to LOVE – absolutely LOVE – beans and rice.

This is obvious but I wanted to remind you because people used to make fun of me for doing it as a kid: get your clothes used. In fact, get lots of things used. Don’t buy crappy used. Buy quality used. Shabby chic but the for-realz shabby chic. The pic of our yurt in Alaska – everything recycled – is to the left.

Don’t be afraid to eat street food when traveling unless you ALWAYS get really sick. Some people are constitutionally weaker in the GI tract. Go to the busy people. Street food is under scrutiny by locals as well, and locals know who has nasty street food or who doesn’t take care of or clean their equipment well.

Having said that, be willing to get a little diarrhea and not be pissed about it. Traveling to cool places means new cool bugs. If you practice general sanitation guidelines like washing your hands, carrying hand disinfectant (and using it), and drinking clean water, you’ll be fine enough. A tablet of ciprofloxacin 500mg will take care of most stomach bugs anyway. And Pepto Bismol is the shit. Ha Ha.

Beer is cheaper than wine. Stick to beer or the local moonshine, or go to the wine specials section and buy by the case.

Freedom Junkie Tip #4 Independent Budget Travel

I still employ a lot of the tactics I used back when I was less financially abundant when I travel now. I call it “Dirtbag By Choice.” Budget travel is more exciting to me, even though I don’t “have” to travel that way. And these days, I find it is also safer, as independent travelers are less of a target for mean people (like terrorists) than if you’re hanging out in a 4-star hotel (we were sleeping on a cargo boat in Timbuktu when terrorists came to a hotel in the city).

The most expensive thing about traveling to the places I go to is the plane ticket. After that, if border crossings are involved, it’s visa fees. After that, it’s beer.

Having said that, here are a few tips on budget travel:

  • Be willing to spend more on a ticket to travel someplace with a super low cost of living. I would save up and fly to Nepal for $1800, and spend $600 the whole month I was there. Conversely many of my friends blow $400-600 per DAY in Vegas or Hawaii. Or freakin’ Disneyland with kids. It’s even better if you can stay longer after traveling so far. I’d stay in Nepal for 3 months at a time. However, if $1800 freaks you out, or you can’t stay for longer periods of time, or both: you can get to Mexico on Alaska Airlines for around $300-400 fairly regularly. And two fresh fish tacos with yummy guacamole and a cold Tecate or Dos Equis will cost you about $5-6. Beach camping is free in many spots.
  • Celebrate that you can still eat, drink, and sleep well on a budget if you go to the right places. I could spend $400 a month in India while eating and drinking VERY well. Yes, I had to go face to face with cockroaches twice, and a rat once. But that is CHEAP! And know that in most countries, those things are in fancy places too. They’re just better hidden;) In Thailand I could stay in bungalows on the beach – ON THE BEACH with a wonderful fan, which I much prefer over A/C – for $15-20.
  • What if you don’t like to travel to developing countries but want to fly somewhere? Hawaii. You can camp. And cook over a fire. And rent your own kayaks instead of going on a tour. I went to Hawaii and spent: $300 plane ticket (Hawaiian Airlines) from SFO, free camping (or tops it would be $10/night), a bowl of tasty poke with rice $7-9, cook breakfast (actually not that cheap to buy groceries there, ironically!) $6. Car rental was $180 for the week (90), and gas was $120 for two, total. One week in Hawaii, all inclusive per person: around $640. I brought my own snorkeling gear.
  • Don’t travel at peak times. Avoid spring break, Holidays, etc. Look into the Holidays of where you are going too. I once went to Istanbul during Ramadan, which was followed by their Spring break. Domestic flights were booked for two weeks straight over my Holiday. You can view all domestic flights here if you’re interested in booking some.
  • Be flexible with your dates when buying plane tickets. A day can make a huge difference in airfare. I was going to fly to New York once and saved $350 by leaving a day earlier.
  • Get a frequent flyer rewards credit card and use it to buy EVERYTHING. And pay it off in full every month. Some people even get several rewards credit cards. That scares me. But I admit to having two, which I pay off in full. I earn at least 2-3 round trip tickets a year (to fly to the equivalent of Europe for each one, miles-wise), because one comes with a companion fare of $99 a year as well. I once bought a car on my credit card and paid it off the next week (I’d saved for it)…but I got the points!
  • Use airline consolidators. These are different than companies like Travelocity or Kayak. I saw a ticket on Travelocity to Dakar for $3200. When I called the consolidator, it was $1600. Now THAT’s what I’m talking about!
  • Travel WITH someone. Splitting things like cabs/rickshaws/meals/a bottle of wine is way cheaper. However, make sure they are trained. My boyfriend used to debate whether $3 more is worth it for an attached bathroom. It is if he wants to have sex. He now knows to not ask if I think it will be “worth it.”
  • Don’t go with a tour. Maybe a package deal can be worth it if they get good airfare plus hotel…but I tend to move a lot from city to city, so I never come out ahead with the hotel deals. However, I once bought a plane ticket/hotel combo to Baja and never used the hotel portion. The airfare was just cheaper that way. I know. Weird.
  • Plan ahead– tickets are always more expensive when you buy within 2 weeks…unless you’re like me and call last-minute and say, “Hey, I have 3- days off. Where can I go for super cheap right now?” Sometimes there are crazy-good last-minute deals, but you’ll have less choice about where to go. Vegas seems to pop up a lot…which is cool because I don’t gamble, but I do like climbing in Red Rocks. This also applies to different experiences you can participate in. For example, buying pre-booked tickets for a whale watching California experience would be more reasonable than buying one on the day. Plan ahead and you WILL save yourself money.
  • Use independent travel guides like Lonely Planet and The Rough Guide to help you do things your own way. Get on their forums and discover killer sample itineraries for wherever you want to go. People can even give you updated ferry schedules etc for cities you want to visit!
  • I sometimes get the itineraries from cool travel companies like Mountain Travel Sobek (who kicks ass, by the way – I used them for Bhutan because you HAVE to go with a guide in Bhutan and it was epic). Once you get their well-researched itin, you can then figure out how to do their itinerary on your own. Sahweet! I did a four-day itin in Cambodia en route to Bhutan from Bangkok. I planned a four-day layover in Bangkok before flying out to Bhutan. Their cost for the Angkor Wat “additional leg” of the trip? $650 per person for two or more, $985 for a solo traveler. Mine? $450-500 (with plane ticket). BTW I just want to point out – if you can afford Sobek, go on at least one trip with them. They are crazy good. And thanks for the itin tips, Sobek;)
  • Carry a mosquito net (if applicable) so you don’t have to stay in a fancy hotel just to avoid getting malaria. Plus, if you ever want to sleep on an open-air cargo boat like I did on the River Niger in Mali, you can do so comfortably.
  • Take second class trains and busses. You don’t need first class. It is usually freezing from out-of-control A/C in first class, and you won’t get to meet the locals. The exception is some buses, on which first class is the only way to guarantee your bus MIGHT have brakes (“guarantee” and “might”…oxymoron?). But in those countries, even first class is cheap. Third class is usually nasty – even to locals. I don’t do it unless I absolutely have to.
  • Be a woman. Once I met my boyfriend, my travel budget got cut (except maybe it wasn’t as bad as I thought because we split things). I used to get so much free stuff. Flights. Food. Drink. Sailing trips. And no, I didn’t even have to have sex for it. In India, there are freakin’ LINES just for women. You can bypass 30 men to get in the lady’s line and get the last two tickets to Shangrila. Sahweet!

Freedom Junkie Tip #5 Camp

Sleeping outside is one of the coolest things to like to do. You can do SO MUCH for so cheap, be in stunningly beautiful places, and usually meet hilarious characters – especially if you’re willing to go a bit out of your way.

Learn to like sleeping on the ground. You will get to do much cooler shit for hardly any money if you don’t need a fancy bed. You can get a comfy sleeping mat, or better yet, backs tend to like firm surfaces, so you can try to learn to like something as simple as a carpet then more power to you! Most would enjoy investing in a really comfy sleeping pad if you need to. The super luxurious ones can cost up to $200+, but you’ll sleep like a baby, and you’ll save that in hotel room rates immediately.

Go to national parks: I buy a national park pass every year. $80 Unlimited admission to National Parks and Monuments (those can be $20 a pop!). Camp in the walk-in campgrounds so you don’t have to spend $20/night on camping. Or spend $20 a night on camping. It’s still cheap.

Check out alternative sleeping structures – some parks and tourist outdoorsy spots have SUPER nice things to rent out like yurts (that some with wood and kitchen supplies) which are really popular on the Oregon Coast, treehouses, fancy canvas wall tents…there are lots of new creative things to stay in! And most are quite romantic…at least for me!

If you have to choose, go for more time than money. There’s a saying:

On either side of the socioeconomic spectrum exists a leisure class

The luxury of time exists with the very rich or the un/underemployed. I fell in the latter for a long time (by choice). Not a lot of money, but a hell of a lot of time.

In my experience, having made anywhere from $11,000 a year to a super awesome 6-figure income, I had a LOT more time to have fun when I made less money. I have spent years learning how to make money AND have more time, but barring you taking the time to do the same, don’t sweat it if you are in a time vs money situation. If you have time, USE IT. Once you make a lot of money in the traditional sense, time costs more;)

(Note: If you don’t have a hell of a lot of money AND not a whole lot of time, we need to chat.)

Freedom Junkie Tip #6 What to Do

Do yoga. You will deal with all discomforts – mental and physical – much more skillfully and with more grace. Also, BONUS! : You’ll be much more comfortable sleeping on cargo ships and enduring long bus rides…and sleeping on the ground (which, as we’ve established, is uber fun).

Learn a little bit of the language and cultural customs wherever you go, even if that’s only a different part of town – and even it’s only basic phrases and simple niceties. When you travel – especially budget travel – you have much more interaction with locals, because pretty much the whole world is on a budget. Knowing their language will make interactions much more pleasant and interesting. Pictionary skills are awesome. And hand gestures. Get proficient at these.

Smile. Not only do people open their hearts and homes to pleasant people, you can get lots of free shit and at least avoid a lot of hassles by being pleasant, both here and abroad. As one Jersey cop told me, “You’ll catch a lot more flies with honey than with vinegar” Why he said that is another story;)

I’d love to hear more ideas about how to live a Badass Life on a budget. Please leave a comment below and share your ideas with us! I’ll definitely reply. Promise;)

PS: for more Über useful tips and beta on adventure travel on a budget and lifestyle-based businesses, check out Chris Guillebeau’s stuff like “Frequent Flyer Master” and his other programs. He’s all about freedom (like us!) and we speaka da same language. This is my affiliate link, BTW, because he and I help each other out. So I may get to buy a coffee on you if you use it, and it doesn’t cost you any more either. Sahweet 😉

Note: Ana Verzone (Neff) is a personal life coach, mentor and FreedomJunkie® She helps individuals awaken their lives of freedom and personal success with confidence, clarity, self-love, and passion. Her monthly Ziji Up! ™ eZine goes out to hundreds of subscribers. If you are ready to take your life and your world to the next level, you can learn more about her coaching programs and download her FREE Getting Clear Guide by visiting FreedomJunkie.com.