How gozit? Are you hanging in there…or even thriving?
I joke about how with my introverted nature I am basking in all this time that I have to just be still and not have FOMO that I am missing out on great concerts or parties or events. I used to have to make myself stay in and nurture because despite knowing that solitude energized me, I’d often give it up to carpe the dang diem and go hear that band that was playing way past my bedtime, or head out to the cabin party that a bunch of friends were going to be at (even though I craved some me-time).
I’m sure it’ll hit me at some point, but for now, I’m doing swimmingly well!
I love this quote by Hunter S. Thompson:
“When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro.”
That’s what I’ve been choosing to do. Using this time to dig deep and deliver to my peeps.
One of my clients shared an article in our Freedom School FB group titled, “Why the Pandemic Isn’t Time for Self-improvement.”
But when I read it it said that we should allow the grieving and the pain and reflect on the magnitude of what is happening now…not just try to stay busy taking courses or getting distracted etc.
OK. I get that.
But here’s the thing:
In order to know how to grieve in a healthy way, in order to reflect in a wise way on what is happening, guess what you need to have practiced?
Personal growth skills.
Otherwise we end up spiraling or getting depressed or ruminating about all the awful things happening or that might happen. We worry. We fear. We fret.
Notice there is a difference between grieving and spiraling into thoughts about how awful things are.
One serves you. One cleanses, purifies, lightens, allows, opens.
The other constricts, suffocates, buries, pushes down.
The goal in personal growth is never to NOT feel. On the contrary, in Freedom School we talk about HOW to feel – without letting it become overwhelming or leading to unskillful action.
There are three common ways we deal with emotion: resist, react, or distract.
But there is a fourth way that actually helps us process an emotion in a healthy way – and that is to allow it.
Allowing an uncomfortable emotion is NOT easy – especially at first.
My students practice it a ton. And you can bet it’s one of the most important skills they learn, because when we can allow an emotion – when we actually just feel it without adding a bunch of spiraling thoughts and judgments about it – we have true freedom. We are no longer afraid of feeling.
We need to learn to hold space for any emotion.
The spectrum of emotions that we will experience as a human being are normal and natural and part of what it means to be alive. When we can hold the space for any emotion to appear, to be present inside of us without judgment, then we are more likely be able to feel it and experience it in our body.
Without the thoughts that create a story around it.
Then we are more likely to be free.
And that, my friends, takes some personal growth.
Shit is weird. Go pro. Learn to feel your feelings and learn to not let emotions control you or your experience of life.
If you want extra support, don’t forget the two trainings calls I had in March:
Check out the replay of the How Not to Lose Your Sh*t in a Crisis training here (lots of healthcare professionals and their partners asking questions on this one).
I hope you learn even just ONE tool that you can use right away to help you in these unusual, weird times.
And remember: you’re not alone.
If you want to join a tribe of people that will help you navigate this wild and precious life, come check out Freedom School – for rebels like you. It’s not just personal growth for rebels. It’s Jedi training for the new world.