Badass on a Budget Part II – Essential Freedom Junkie® Road Trip Tips

“They danced down the streets like dingledodies, and I shambled after as I’ve been doing all my life after people who interest me, because the only people for me are the mad ones, the ones who are mad to live, mad to talk, mad to be saved, desirous of everything at the same time, the ones that never yawn or say a commonplace thing, but burn, burn, burn…” – Jack Kerouac, On the Road

Road trips are the shizzle – especially when it comes to budget travel – and after my last trip across the desert, I decided to add a Part II to Badass on a Budget (BOAB) and dedicate one to helping you take the Epic Road Trip. In addition to road trips being completely badass, when you’re craving an adventure and are tight on money, a road trip is truly in order.

In fact, I like to road trip a LOT, and it is often my first go-to for an adventure – not just a fallback for when I can’t get a plane ticket somewhere (perhaps you – like me- may also have a hard time planning ahead to score those low-priced plane tickets?). Good for last-minute trips. Easy to pack. Freedom galore.

However, with the price of gas these days, road tripping can seem not-so-budget-oriented. Once, I even found a plane ticket from Southern Oregon to San Francisco that was only $25 more than it would have cost me to buy gas to drive there and back (5.5 hours one way). Still, if you do it right, road-tripping is an easy and affordable way to go. And don’t worry – I’ve added lots of gas-saving tips below.

[typography font=”Cantarell” size=”19″ size_format=”px”]Road Trip Essentials[/typography]

Freedom Junkie Tip #1

  • Pack light and tight. This may seem like common sense (the more your car weighs, the better gas mileage you’ll get). However, it can be easy to say, “Ah, what the hell – there’s room. Toss it in!” I have been guilty of this often. I spent so many years on light alpine climbing trips where I would go so far as to break the handle off my toothbrush to save weight (every ounce counts!). The idea of driving makes me salivate at all the heavy things I could bring: canned goods, a ROLL of toilet paper (including the cardboard center!), beer (lots of it), bottles of wine, coolers full of fresh veggies…Alas, it all adds up, amigo. So, treat yourself well, but don’t go overboard.

In addition, BULK can be a pain in the ass to sift through and it feels crowded, cramping your style. Try to pact compact, taking smaller things than bulkier things when given the choice (like compress your bedding into a compression stuffsack). Also keep things you will need throughout the drive easily accessible right behind the driver and passenger seats (water bottles, snacks, camera, foot massager…)

Freedom Junkie Tip #2

  • Eat well and drink fluids (even if it means you pee more). Riding the shirttails of the previous item, I want to make sure you take care of yourself even though you’re trying to not bring too much. Pack healthy snacks so you can at least feel good about what’s going into your body while you sit on your ass for hours at a time. Have a small cooler easily accessible with fresh snacks, as well as healthy fun drinks like fizzy water (my personal fave). I like fruits (but overly-juicy ones make too much of a mess sometimes), all-natural potato chips which are my weakness so thank god they put all-natural in front so I can forget how bad they are for me (yup, that means ONLY naturally simple carbs fried in healthy FAT and salt, yo ;)), snap peas, cheese and crackers and olives…

Freedom Junkie Tip #3

  • Try to fill your gas before you try to leave town, like the night before or earlier in the day. Packing up and having to stop after 5 minutes in the car to fill up is such a buzzkill, and drops the momentum.

Freedom Junkie Tip #4

  • Having said THAT, pay attention to the days you fill up if you have a choice: Gas prices don’t just seem to go up around holidays and long weekends – they really DO rise! Sneaky buggers. So don’t wait until Thursday night to fill up for a Memorial or Labor Day weekend trip. Fueling up can also be more expensive on weekends, so load up midweek.

PS: Did I say, “Try not to road trip on long weekends?” When the rest of the freakin’ country is roadtripping? Yeah. Don’t. Bad idea. Unless you like trapping your companion for forced hours of conversation at a standstill. I know some women who use this tactic for “important talks.” Don’t let that be you. On either end.

Freedom Junkie Tip #5

  • Bring good tunes. I cannot emphasize this enough. BRING GOOD TUNES. I also like to bring awesome audiobooks (comedy, spiritual/personal growth, adventure, best-sellers) and podcasts. You can stream Pandora or something similar in places where you get good reception, but on most roads worth tripping on, your cell won’t work. You can also consider a satellite radio subscription, but I’m guessing that if you’re a Baddass on a Budget, that’s probably one you could do without. Also, local radio can be AWESOME! There are often completely whacky characters and songs you haven’t ever heard…or haven’t heard in a long time. On the other hand, local boondock radio is often filled with religious propaganda which is cool if you’re into that.

Freedom Junkie Tip #6

  • Which brings me to my next point: consider having a calling card with you on longer trips for places where your cell won’t work. You may need to make calls in a pinch for breakdowns, money transfers (I hope not!), or to notify your friends of the bootleg Burning Man fest you just found in New Mexico that they MUST come to.

Freedom Junkie Tip #7

  • Stop to stretch once in awhile. If all you’re doing is driving 4-5 hours a day, you can bust it out with one or two pee stops. However, on longer trips, I recommend getting out every 3 hours to stretch and hydrate and feel the air/elements outside. It helps keep you from becoming a zombie. A frisbee is nice for a few minutes too! Having said that, if you stop at all – to get gas, take a picture, etc – pee. Try to pee at every stop or you make need the following:

Freedom Junkie Tip #8

  • Have a pee bottle. I’m serious. I know you think it may be gross, but every serious road-tripper has used one. If you’re in a van (I LOVE vans!) or larger-sized vehicle, us women can use these easily too! I have a large pee bottle with a wide mouth for emergencies, like being stuck in traffic for hours with nowhere private to go, or simply because we are in a flow and it would be a bummer to stop. Once mastered, the pee bottle is not a put-off. Good bottles for women have a low center of gravity and a wide mouth, like pickle jars. LABEL so someone doesn’t think it is pickle juice. For men, well, they just need to be able to insert their thang. I like it to be at least a liter in size. The jar. Not the thang. You’d be amazed at how much pee you can hold.

Freedom Junkie Tip #9

Go with the flow. Have a general plan for where you’re going, but be open to taking side roads. A road trip on major highways isn’t so romantic or adventurous, so be sure to take backroads when you can (at least once in awhile), and make sure they are pretty/wild in nature. Get a good gazeteer/road atlas that shows “scenic routes.” There are backroads that suck. Badly. If you take a backroad, look ahead on the map for “escape routes” if it isn’t as groovy as you thought it would be.

See something pretty? Stop! See a cool turnoff? Check it out! Did you pull over to pee and decide this was going to be the best sunset ever? Stay! Camp there! Hang out! Allow some cushion days for unexpected adventures, and hell, be ready to toss your plans completely for that bootleg Burning Man fest you found!

Freedom Junkie Tip #10

  • Know the weather. Don’t take a backroad in winter unless you KNOW it is maintained. Many a tragedy has happened from people failing to do this, like the Silicone Valley family who’s father perished in Oregon after they took a side-road in winter (which was closed and unmaintained) and got stuck in a storm.

Freedom Junkie Tip #11

  • Be prepared. Have a roadside assist service. For realz, I am NOT kidding, you MUST have this. I have used this more than any other kind of insurance I buy. It has saved my ass. Mine came with my car insurance. Make sure it has GOOD coverage. AAA is obviously good. I have USAA which has been awesome as well.

Have all your documents in one spot. Make sure you have recent copies of car insurance, registration, driver’s license, and roadside assist numbers. If you’re going to get pulled voer, might as well get it over with quickly and not offer any reasons to shuffle around your car and expose something untoward at a bad time.

Make sure you have: jumper cables, know how to change a tire (on the car you’re using for this trip), carry a plug kit for smaller punctures (I am SOOOO happy I started doing this!), ideally have your spare on rims and be a normal tire size so you can drive farther without damaging your car. Have water, sleeping bags, extra fuel (1-2 gallons depending on your car), a campstove and pot, lighter/matches, and emergency food and warm clothes. Also, beware at pullouts for things that put holes in your tires. Sharp rocks and nails more easily puncture your tires when you rapidly pull into a pullout.

Freedom Junkie Tip #12

  • Clean out your car at every gas stop. And check your oil too. You’ll appreciate having done both.

Freedom Junkie Tip #13

  • Don’t speed. Getting pulled over is such a buzzkill. And speeding uses more gas (55mph is the ideal for gas mileage). I use cruise control set for just a teeny bit above the speed limit because I am just feisty that way. If I don’t use cruise control, I have this leadfoot that has me thinking I am going 70 mph and really it is nearing 90. Yikes! Not even trying to speed!

Freedom Junkie Tip #14

  • Divide and conquer. Have a driver and a navigator. A car chef who is good at making car snacks and feeding everyone, an assigned DJ, etc. I often give the driver the right to choose the music. Use your strengths and your desires. You don’t “have” to equally share the driving if one of you likes it more. My partner often drives and I feed him. It works.

Freedom Junkie Tip #15

  • Choose your sidekick(s) wisely. Complainers suck. People who “should” all over you suck (“You should have turned left; See, I told you that you should have eaten that mystery meat on a stick so you wouldn’t be hungry now; You should have told me you didn’t love me”). Oy vey.

In general, good roadtrip partners are easy-going/go with the flow, are funny, willing to do random things, enjoy challenges and find them stimulating, are relatively low-maintenance when it comes to feeling “comfortable,” and are people you can be comfortable NOT talking to for awhile. People who want to constantly talk on a roadtrip can make the event exhausting. Good roadtrip companions also automatically chip in for gas and toll booths. Sweet etiquette says that the car owner doesn’t have to pay for gas in a party of 4 or more on longer trips because they are “paying” through wear and tear. In any event, a good balance of personalities needs to be there. If you don’t have all the above characteristics, make sure that together, you do;)

Bonus Freedom Junkie Gas Tips

If you’re SUPER anal about gas, here are a few more trips I discovered that I thought you’d like:

  • Don’t stop and start – accelerating from a standstill requires extra fuel. Try to coast to the light and reach it as it turns green – without coming to a full stop. You’ll get really into this eventually. GasBuddy.com will help you find the best deals for gas while you’re on the road. Do this in advance if you’ll be in areas without cell service. Fuelfrog.com will track your mileage over the long haul.
  • Buy higher octane gas, which tends to get better mileage, especially for older vehicles. BTW – higher octane gas tends to be cheaper in larger towns than smaller ones.
  • Coast downhill in neutral. I can’t advocate going so far as to turn off your car engine, which would have you lose control of stuff like braking (!!!), but get into neutral and coast, baby. I did it in Hawaii coming down Mauna Kea when we were almost empty. Awesome.
  • Don’t overfill the tank, cuz gas can slosh around and escape. Did you know that every year 147 million gallons of fuel vaporize from tanks in the U.S.? Crazy! Click that gas cap – at least three times!
  • Bring more people! Split the gas. Balance this with being crowded and having fun being more important than saving a few bucks.
  • Drive when it’s cooler outside. Cooler, denser air can increase power and mileage. Hit the road early in the morning or later in the evening when the temperature drops, especially in the summer. You’ll save on air-conditioning costs too. Having said that...
  • This I didn’t believe, but Travel and Leisure magazine swears it is true: Use the AC. “A few years back the advice was the opposite: turn the air off and open the windows. Because air conditioners are more efficient, they now cause less drag on the engine than driving with the windows down.” Alrighty then!
  • Lastly, if you’re super broke, become a billboard. For realz. There are companies like freecarmedia.com and freegashelp.com that hook companies up with drivers that then receive a few hundred dollars a month (in either cash or a gas card). I think its quite epic to pull off, and I rather dislike ads, but hey – sometimes, you gotta do what you gottta do!

I hope that helps, Freedom Junkies! Now get out there and have an adventure!

This list wasn’t exhaustive, so please add your own tips below. I’d also love to hear: What was YOUR favorite road trip adventure? One of my faves was driving through the desert from Oregon to Telluride, Colorado…mmmmmmmm. Please share your juice with us!

Days 214 to 223 The Multi-Passionate Life and Refusing to Choose

Hey now, I need you to read something, because when I read it myself for the first time, I thought, “Holy shizzle. I freakin’ KNEW it!” :

“You are the owner of a remarkable, multi-talented brain trying to do its work in a world that doesn’t understand who you are and doesn’t know why you behave as you do.”- Barbara Sher, Refuse to Choose.

I know, right? Home sweet home!

The above quote is an excerpt from Barbara Sher’s book about “multi-passionate” people, Refuse to Choose. Some examples of multi-passionates are people like Leonardo DaVinci who was a scientist, mathematician, engineer, inventor, anatomist, painter, sculptor, architect, musician, and writer; or Mary Somerville who wrote on astronomy, mathematics, physics, chemistry, mineralogy, and geology; or perhaps you, who might be a yogini massage therapist who also had a stint in acupuncture school then worked as a nurse and as an international climbing guide…oh wait, that’s kinda me…

In any event, when I discovered the term multi-passionate, this term that explained me and my wild ways in a strikingly positive light, I almost cried. I have had so many passions and managed to piece them together in a mandala of sorts that works for me. Even though I have a truly amazing life, for most of it I often felt judged. I felt like people thought I was lazy, or scattered, a dilettante, Jack of All Trades (Master of None), unable to focus…”Why can’t she just pick one thing and stick to it?”

In fact, years ago, I walked in on one of my exes searching the internet for a diagnosis of me. Of ME! He was a surgeon, and surely there must have been a reason that I chose not to spend 10+ years in school as well. He decided I likely had ADD. Um, except I didn’t. People with ADD can’t maintain relationships, they crash their cars, they can’t focus, etc.

I, on the other hand, had the following resume (and thank you, Tia Sparkles, for inspiring me to share my resume):

1991-1996 – Outdoor Recreation Instructor/Leader

1992-2004 – Professional Alpine Mountaineering Guide in the US and internationally

1991 – 1996 – Official campus New York Times paper girl

1996-2002 – Professional Massage Therapist with my own practice as well as working for others as an independent contractor

2004-present – Family Nurse Practitioner

2008-20010 – Yoga Instructor

2007-present – Certified Nurse Midwife

20010 – present – Certified Professional Co-Active Coach and Freedom Junkie (I do this more now that the medical stuff, but I just LOOOOOOOVE catching babies and being fascinated by the human body. There is a lot to be passionate about within both coaching and the medical field, so they keep me quite content;)

Notice the aforementioned mandala of careers which overlap so I can do things my way. Not once did I just have one job. Total time in full-time jobs (during which I still had other stimulating jobs, mostly entrepreneurial)? 5 years. Not bad after 39 years in the USA submerged in the Protestant Work Ethic that founded this country.

I, my dears, have laser focus. I can obsess day and night about something for a really long time. Years even. While ’tis true that many multi-passionates also have ADD (and its associated co-morbidities), it wasn’t attention decifit that I had, darlin’. But more on that later. And yes, I left that relationship.

It also wasn’t that I did many things and sucked at them and got distracted. Au contraire, mon amie. Quite the opposite: I made sure to get into the best schools for everything I studied, and get very competitive jobs (here and internationally) and excel, start my own businesses and thrive, yada yada. Quite simply, what tended to happen was that once I felt I got quite good/knowledgeable at something, this “hideous thing” reared its ugly head which I – as an only and often lonely child – vowed to never experience on a regular basis if my lil’ ol’ self had anything to do with it: BOREDOM (gasp!).

So here is what usually happens with a multi-passionate (aka polymath):

  • You notice that bright shiny object (aka new passion)
  • Then uber-obsession kicks in and you think about it all the freakin’ time
  • Take a deep breath and dive in, baby. Learn all you can. Swim in that shizzle.
  • Start doing said thang
  • And eventually, once you got this/learned “enough,” you may ditch it, quickly finish it up/get it over with, or add another passion to the list

Below are other characteristics of multi-passionates that I’ve gathered from some of my reading lately. See if they apply to you or someone you know:

Multi-passionates love to learn.

Multi-passionates read widely in divergent and not-always-complementary disciplines. Like how what I’m reading now ranges from a revisiting of Martha Beck’s Steering By Starlight, Michael Benavov’s Men of Salt, about a man’s journey along the Sahara’s ancient salt trade route, and the Green Journal of the American College of Obstetrics and Gynecology. Seriously. However, as Susan Reid puts it,  “The natural tendency to do so is often what brings about the formulation of brilliant discoveries, new applications, and luminous collaborations.” Word up, yo.

Multi-passionates are badass master mixers/synthesizers. Duh! We know a lot about a lot! They can bring together seemingly disparate ideas and thoughts in remarkable ways.

Multi-passionates have the ability to focus on a given topic for a long period— wait: caveat – that is, as long as is necessary to learn what they need to know. Then they move on. This powerful focus is not to the exclusion of everything else. Rather, it is a stepping-stone to the next thing!

Multi-passionates kick ass at generating ideas. They think conceptually first.

Whew! So there you have it. You’re fine just the way you are.

Oh wait! One more thing: Lots of us multi-passionates freak out about having to choose one thing. The point here? To let you know you don’t have to choose one thing. You can create a mandala like I did, fitting in multiple passions at once. You can drop into one passion for awhile and then move on to the next when you’re ready. Don’t worry about “having” to pick one. Lots of us think we’ll get stuck in one particular thing. You don’t have to, OK? Like the title of Barbara Sher’s book, Refuse to Choose. Go head and pick up a copy for some basic tips on how to eactly do that, or contact me for some multi-passionate coaching!

I’d love to hear if there are more of you multi-passionates out there. Pray do tell in the comments area below. How have you made multi-passionism work for you, or what has been your biggest challenge around it? My guess is many of us Freedom Junkies can totally relate to this concept;)

Full On 365Alright. Now that I’ve gotten off my soapbox about that, what has this lady been doing the past 9 days to live Full On? Well, we finished building the bathhouse and almost finished the chick shack, had a party at the yurt, caught babies for a couple of days, created my new upcoming workshop called (guess!) The Chick Shack, where kickass women will gather to talk all things relationship (keep an eye out for more!).

Now I am in the Pribilof Islands (aka The Galapagos of The North) for 3 weeks. Here, I will be helping to serve the wonderful people in this local village, do some coaching (yay internet/skype!), finish prepping for my workshop, make a list for to-dos before my 2+ months Africa trip, meditate, do yoga, and stop PMS-ing which is getting soooooo old for me right now;) I am on the island of St. Paul, which is the home of the largest fur-seal colony in the world, and also hosts 2 million birds. Yup.

Full On juicy, I say!

Below are some pics of this stunning place (and this is only Day 2 here!). For a cool video of a fur seal talking, click here. And tell me below – is this where Chewbacca got his voice?

10-4. Over and out.

local Russian Orthodox church
St. Paul
on the road out to the fur seal rookeries

 

beautiful crabpots and yes, you probably saw this island on “Deadliest Catch”

 

Note: Ana Neff is a life coach, guide and Freedom Junkie™ She helps passionate people awaken their lives of freedom, adventure and purpose. Her monthly Freedom Junkie™ eZine goes out to hundreds of subscribers. Her “Full-On 365” blog posts stem from her commitment to living full-on, every day, for 365 days in a row. If you are ready to take your life and your world to the next level, you can learn more about her coaching programs and download her FREE Getting Clear Guide by visiting FreedomJunkie.com (note: it’s new look will be up to rock your world soon)!

Days 200 to 213 Loving Getting Older

the motley crew on Tustumena Glacier

This has been my birthday month, and I have just turned 39 awesome years old! For the 5 weeks after my birthday and before my boyfriend’s, it appears I am robbing the cradle – or maybe just borrowing from the cradle – when he says he is 37, which sounds like 2 years younger, hee hee;) I quite revel in it.

It has been important to me to spend my birthday in the mountains. I have been in the mountains in one way or another every August since I was 18. However, last year, when I went to the Palisades in the Sierra Nevada and my bestie, Kristen Cates, and I frolicked in alpine lakes and scrambled up glaciers wearing Chacos sandals, I realized I fill my cup most when I am with my girlfriends in the big mountains. Suffice it to say, Kristen graced me with her presence by flying to Alaska for a couple of weeks. It was awesome!

After she left (and after our adventures of sailing, hiking, crossing cable bridges over rivers, yoga in the forest, etc) my friends Monty, Ole, and my boyfriend Thai and I went to the Tustumena Glacier and explored this area on the Kenai Peninsula, accessing the infamous Harding Icefield and making out way to Truuli Glacier. It was epic! We took an armada of boats to a seasonal island (otherwise an isthmus) in Tustamena Lake where 10 of us hung out together for the eve. We grilled halibut on the top of the wood burning stove and played music late into the night…and the cabin was a surprise! An uber- nice blessing for sure.

Only two of the boats were “sea worthy” enough to make it through the rough waters of the rest of the lake traverse the next day (I think the lake is near 25 miles long!). This left 8 of us at the base of the Tustumena Glacier, where we cooked moose meat loaf (!!!) over a fire, and had other amazing meals as well. Yes, we had more than one meal in less than 6 hours. It was awesome. In fact, we may have had three meals.

The next day, our friends Don, Burt, Shane, and his son, Simon, dropped us off at the mouth of Tustumena Creek, and we hiked up to the base of the glacier. It was gorgeous! But seemingly impassable. Steep rock walls lined the sides of the glacier, and at the base was its terminal lake and steep ice fins and ice walls, with the lake filled with icebergs and silty slush.

Well, I lied. We did have the option of bushwhacking at least a mile, through the usual Alaskan up-and-down terrain, which takes hours in the thick alder. We were up for it…but mañana.

But wait! Thai says, “OR, I can get energized and run back to basecamp and get the packrafts and we can paddle around and find a way to get onto the glacier. Maybe.”

That sounded way better! For us at least. What took us 4 hours one way took Thai 2.5 hours round trip. He ran most of the way, and slept well that night. (The pic of the lake at the base of the glacier is above).

A bit of perspective on paddling around icebergs in the terminal lake

The next morning, we loaded two to a packraft and explored, finding one finger of morraine at which we thought we could safely dismount the packrafts and get onto the glacier. It worked! Shuttling the gear took another 2 hours, then we were off towards the Harding Icefield and Truuli Peak. The packrafts saved us hours. Love them! And Thai;)

I’ll keep the story short: it was freakin’ gorgeous! We had epically good weather (rained once and we were asleep most of the time), and the views were utterly spectacular. Truuli looks stout. We would definitely need better alpine gear as we were only prepared for a snow-slope or moderate ridge options, of which there were neither. Two of us had Kahtoola microspikes which were THE gear of choice for this trip. The others had less-than-ideal crampons and we all agreed the Kahtoolas rocked for glacier travel and even some moderate slopes for experiences peeps.

We ate like divas (sorry guys) and had warm soups for lunch, and scrumptious dinners, and even an Asian coconut custard birthday cake for Ole. That’s a long story.

On the way out the boys did a little sheep hunting. Sited six, but they were too small. I was somewhat thrilled about that. I scattered my dad’s ashes in the most surreal of places, spots where lush alpine tundra meets views of the stark and dramatic Harding Icefield, and another where two glorious glaciers parted like a frozen sea past the rock outcrop we were camped on, above an ephemeral lake jumbled with blocks of ice, like the eddy of the glacier if ice could indeed swirl in geologic slow-motion.

There’s more, but this is my “Full On 365” blog, and not an Outdoor Magazine article, so I’ll save more juiciness for another time.

Suffice it to say: it rocked my world. The whole month. All the people in my life. My boyfriend. My mom. My friends. My family. My self.

Indeed, myself. I am glad – and even a bit proud – to know I am still adventuring, and also still growing spiritually. Life is amazing. I truly love my life.

During this month, I have to admit I did notice that I wasn’t 24 anymore. And not all of that is bad.

Here’s what I notice is different now that I am 39 years old that is a little inconvenient:

  • I seem to need more sleep. I used to feel “fine” after 5-6 hours now and then. Perhaps what it really means is I expect more out of how I show up in the world, and that requires a cup that is more full
  • I need to stretch and do yoga. Before it just felt good and I thought of it as a great part of my workout. Now I neeeeeed it.
  • Slower metabolism.
  • Coffee gives me worse panic attacks than ever. I am learning to love tea more and more.
  • I have to hear, “OMG you SO don’t look 39! You look, like, 32 at the most!” all the time. As if I was supposed to be haggard at 39. As if the possibility of someone being youthful in their late 30s is such a shock to a 20-something who you also have to talk to all night and keep hearing, “I can’t believe you’ve done so much! Oh, I keep forgetting you’re SO MUCH older than me!” Funny thing is I used to do (kinda) the same thing. Karma’s a bitch. I know, I know…if I really had my shit together I’d see all that as true compliments. But its rather like saying to someone, “Oh! You’re still skinny! You’re supposed to be fat by now.”

Things I like about getting older that are freakin’ awesome:

  • I like to read before bed
  • I have a growing acceptance of doing nothing and feeling good about it
  • I am less controlled by a need to impress others
  • Sex keeps getting better. Who EVER knew!!!! Yay!
  • I am happier
  • I have more skills with which to help others
  • I am still sexy and pretty and am growing into my womanhood more and more, with grace
  • I am more in love than I have ever been. Ever.
  • I trust the Universe
  • I am a better person
  • My body’s new “needs” keep me aware of how I treat it, and I take care of it better and better
  • My friends are still around, and still love me and celebrate me – and they know me even better!
  • I have a better understanding of my shit and how to deal with it
  • I have a better understanding that we all have our shit, and how to help others deal with theirs
  • …and more
Thai started building this woodshed while I wrote this blogpost. No shit. In like, minutes.

If you ever fear getting older, don’t. Take care of your body, your soul and your mind. Show up in the world with integrity and compassion. Do the right thing. Have fun! It gets better. For realz!

BTW to the left is a photo of what my boyfriend did while I wrote this blog post. Men are awesome;)

Note: Ana Neff is a personal life coach, guide and Freedom Junkie™ She helps passionate people awaken their lives of freedom, adventure and purpose. Her monthly Freedom Junkie™ eZine goes out to hundreds of subscribers. Her “Full-On 365” blog posts stem from her commitment to living full-on, every day, for 365 days in a row. If you are ready to take your life and your world to the next level, you can learn more about her coaching programs and download her FREE Getting Clear Guide by visiting FreedomJunkie.com (note: it’s new look will be up to rock your world soon)!

Days 190 to 199 Full On Hormonal Plus An Embarrassing Story

this is us with the cabin behind…after I realized i was being silly;)

Arrrgh!!!! I am going to share an embarrassing story.

To make the history of this embarrassing story short, I’ll let you know in brief that my partner and I are madly in love, I am utterly at peace and feel safe with him, we have crazy adventures, laugh hysterically, meditate, do yoga together, build things, communicate like adults with respect and depth, and are uber-committed. And it took 12 years for us to finally be together. This means that in those 12 years, he dated other people. And so did I. But the important thing is that he did;) At least for this story.

When you don’t marry your high school sweetheart, you have to realize they have done lots of cool shit with lots of other women that, and yes, this is redundant – weren’t you. At least if they’re a cool guy.

For those of you following my posts, you know that in only the past 10 months, my man and I have been to something like 7 countries and 12 states. So, imagine if you will, what he did with OTHER women during 12 years. Holy shit, right?

Many times each day, I hear a story about an adventure he’s had. I stopped asking with whom because I noticed that when it was with an ex of his, this totally irrational jealousy rose up. Not towards whatever ex it was per se, but more like a sadness that we didn’t get to share it together. Then I feel this kind of shittiness that sucks. I suppose there probably isn’t a type of shittiness that doesn’t suck, but that’s beside the point. It’s a shittiness about feeling shitty about it in the first place. And a shittiness wondering why it wasn’t me.

There are VERY logical answers to why it wasn’t me. I’ll spare you the many details, but one was because, oh…I was married. But anyway, I could have been married to HIM right?! I know. It’s dumb. But bear with me.

So, we are in the Alaskan backcountry, and he has been in the Alaskan backcountry with his girlfriends who didn’t even live in the freakin’ US like – everywhere you can see when you stand around and look at Alaska. Seriously. Like even little teeny islands in Alaska, in the middle of nowhere. He gets shit done and gets his women out there.

this is the bridge!

We arrived at a cabin very special to him. And no, I wasn’t the first girlfriend there. But whatever. I let go of it. Then he says, “I’ve never crossed that cable bridge. Let’s do it later.” And I’m like, “Holy shit! Something he hasn’t done! With ANYONE else! Yay yay yay!

I am disproportionately excited for this cable crossing.

So another friend arrives and he says he is going to orient him to the area and make sure the cable bridge is up. I go and read a book about finding your true destiny.

I read a long fucking time. Like an hour.

I go to see what’s up and guess what? He crossed the fucking bridge with our friend to see if it was worth it! They decided it was.

I was livid. Inside. I even did a Seinfeld’s Elaine, “Get out!” kind of shove. Then he says he’s sorry, that he’s still doing it with me the first time and I’m like, “NO YOU’RE NOT! THAT’S THE WHOLE FREAKIN’ POINT!”

And to boot – the other side? A fucking waterfall with a rope swing. No shit (photo above). We could have discovered it together and he could have pushed me on it as we gasped in awe when we stumbled upon it and my hair would wave in the breeze and I cold swim in the waters all Paradise Found-like. But no. He saw it with Scott.

Rather anticlimactic when you’ve freakin’ already seen it!!!!

Poor guy. He couldn’t have known that crossing that bridge meant more to me than just crossing that bridge. He couldn’t have known that I felt like something was taken from me.

I say things like, “I hear all day where you went with so and so, and how cool your trip with so and so was, and how epically beautiful that place was you went to with so and so, and everywhere we go you’ve been with some so and so or another and I just wanted one freakin’ thing to do with you that you hadn’t done before! Is that too much to ask?” LOL the problem is I never asked;) Plus I forgot we went to West Africa last year together.

WTF, right?! I then wonder why I am so deeply affected by this. I almost want to cry! I know it’s insane to have this reaction. But I let myself feel it, and I go to hole myself away in the cabin, taking deep breaths, until I feel it move through me and have its completion.

I got my period the next day, so now of course it makes perfect sense, but in the moment, I thought I was really losing my shit.

Now that I have a little more of a “realistic” perspective I can ask myself, “Ana, dear, what the hell was that?” Hormonal or not, there was a seed of something there.

What it is, dear Ana, is that I forgot everything happens for a reason. I forgot to surrender to the all-knowing perfection that is greater than myself.

Then I remind myself that he had all those other relationships so he could show up for me the man he is now. All those truly amazing women helped him grow into the absolutely incredible man he is now, and for that I am eternally grateful. And I got to be his friend through all those growing pains, being there for him as a friend, but not being hurt. And now we are together. And he didn’t think I was crazy after all that cable bridge nonsense. He never raised his voice or told me I was being hormonal or that I was being ridiculous. He just held me and said how much he loved me and that we are going to have many adventures together, including making a family.

I know…he’s awesome, right?!

The point is, when I focus on the present, when I take in ONLY what is happening now and not making up stories about the past or fears about the future, it is all perfect.

So will ya do me a favor? When you start getting distracted from the blessings and the perfection and happiness that is right in front of you, in the now – your partner asleep next to you, the sound of rain gently falling on your roof, the way your dog greets you at the door, the way your cat warms your lap, the way your mom or dad are still around to say “I love you” – when you get distracted from that because you’re trying to make sense of the past, or prevent shit from hitting the fan in the future, will you PLEASE just cut it out and enjoy your life? Just for those few present moments? It would make me so happy. And you too.

Days 183 to 189 Full On Family – An Ode to Nana Verzone

Nana’s Antipasti

I thought I could dance. At least freestyle. But then I met my boyfriend’s almost 90-year-old grandma (aka Nana). We went to a wedding in

Her homemade ravioli

Vermont, and it was also a good reason for me to meet Nana since she wanted to suss me out after learning that Thai and I were “serious.” She was supposed to have died over a month ago, according to her doctors. They told her 8 months ago that she had 6 months to live due to a weakening heart valve and her poor candidacy for surgery. But, as she puts it, she showed up at her doctor’s office and said, “I’m still here!” Thank goodness for that!

Suffice it to say, she wasn’t supposed to be gardening or cooking. And she does both. Her garden is prolific with freshly picked flowers adorning the house. She cooks multi-course meals despite protestations with full Italian flair. And I mean homemade raviolis. Gluten shmuten – I had 3 servings.

Nana certainly isn’t supposed to dance. She has passed out a few times gardening (albeit that was before a few med adjustments). However, after watching Thai and I swirling on the dance floor at the wedding, she asked for me. I walked up to her, curious as to what she wanted and wondering if maybe my underwear was showing when Thai spun me around. To my delight, she came out on the dance floor and we danced and danced. She even swirled! (see video here – if the link isn’t active, come back as that means it is still uploading). After a bit of feistiness, she stopped and said she needed to stop. She was feeling

Thai and Nana after she almost passed out. Still table dancing!

faint.

Oh shit. I refused to be a partner in crime for Nana’s last dance. Not on my watch! With an eagle’s eye I tried to act nonchalant, noticing how she was

Homemade cannoli!

still smiling as she sat down. She was breathing hard. She was a little concerned in the brow…but then she started laughing. We all started laughing. See, it takes chi to laugh, and she still had lots of it.

Thank freakin’ God.

I thought about it later, how she had been told what not to do to stay alive longer. And how all these things – cooking, gardening, dancing – brought her such joy. I thought about what I could only imagine her thought process was – “Hmmm. That dancing sure looks fun. I really want to dance. I probably shouldn’t. But I really want to dance. And this wine feels good! Oh what the hell. Why not!? Just for a little bit.”

Would it have been worth it for her? I don’t know. I think maybe it would have been worth it, to be honest. For her, at least. To not stop living just to live. She wasn’t dumb about it. She just lived at her edge.

What’s your edge? What do you do to keep feeling alive? What do you do for pure FUN? Share below with the tribe – let’s LIVE!

Note: Ana Neff is a personal life coach, guide and Freedom Junkie™ She helps passionate people awaken their lives of freedom, adventure and purpose. Her monthly Freedom Junkie™ eZine goes out to hundreds of subscribers. Her “Full-On 365” blog posts stem from her commitment to living full-on, every day, for 365 days in a row. If you are ready to take your life and your world to the next level, you can learn more about her coaching programs and download her FREE Getting Clear Guide by visiting FreedomJunkie.com (note: it’s new look will be up to rock your world soon)!

Days 178 to 183 Full-On Recommitting

I spent the past week getting things settled in the yurt, helping Thai build the bath house, potting pretty flowers, cooking for friends; doing yoga in the summer Alaskan sun and for some reason, nesting. I had no desire to hit the rivers or do anything more ambitious than an evening hike. Something in me – in both Thai and myself, actually – wanted to spend time in this lovely home we are building together.

No, I’m not pregnant.

Then I flew out to spend the last 4 days with badass entrepreneurial women at the W Hotel in Atlanta. We masterminded from morning till late at night, and I came up with new programs and high-level packages, I got massages and facials and – yes- even waxed. I need to tell you about that one in another post…yowza! Click here for a kick-ass video of me flying out of Alaska to Atlanta – epic mountain beauty!

In any event, the contrast in my life keeps me wildly entertained. I loved that I went from heating water to wash my face in the mornings over a double-burner Coleman stove to eating lusciously rich brownies and sipping orange cucumber water in a spa that smelled impossibly divine. And I loved both.

I wonder what wild lifestyles we’d see if more people gave themselves permission to not be put into a box, to love it all, to have a day full of contradictions that were welcomed with open arms…

Anyway, during the days with my female biz buddies, a theme came up: Recommitting.

When you are on a bold path, a new path, a frightening and exposed path, and yes, even a well-worn path, you recommit more than you probably know.

In your marriage, it isn’t the paper marriage certificate that keeps you together. It’s your recommitting to one another, every day. When you start a business and there’s a slump, or a speed bump or a drop in energy, you need to re-commit.

I know I have re-committed many times on this journey of Freedom Junkie. For me this has manifested more as recommitting to being completely authentic in my coaching, in my writing, and in the type of clients that I choose to work with. There have been times that I’ve wondered if I should try to please more people or “be nice” to a client and avoid saying something that might be hard to hear so they didn’t have to see the raw truth in front of them.

Instead, I recommitted to my clear vision (supported by my coach and my fellow badass friends!) and said no to clients that weren’t the ideal ones I wanted to work with; I say the hard things to clients even though someone didn’t like to hear it (haven’t been fired yet…but totally willing to be for the sake of authenticity); and I said no to the standard model of 10-30 weekly clients on 3-month programs because my life requires far too much freedom for that. I cuss at times when I write – especially when I am tired or passionately fired up – because for realz, there’s just not another substitute for “fuck” when you really need to use it. One fellow coach at my meeting apologized when she said, “It really sucked” (she said excuse my language!). Her peeps are not my peeps;) And that’s OK. In fact, its awesome!

I also recommitted to the belief that I can create my own Mandala of a career – doing everything that feeds my soul in my own whacky way, while I travel the world AND plant potted flowers.

Expect these periods of recommitting to come up every now and then, and see it as a choice to walk away form something that no longer serves you, or to reconnect with the Mojo behind it all.

What do you recommit to today? Share with me below, even if it’s just one sentence. Let’s inspire one another with conscious choices!

 

Note: Ana Verzone is a personal life coach, guide and FreedomJunkie™ She helps passionate people awaken their lives of freedom, adventure and purpose. Her monthly eZine goes out to hundreds of subscribers. Her “Full-On 365” blog posts stem from her commitment to living full-on, every day, for 365 days in a row. If you are ready to take your life and your world to the next level, you can learn more about her coaching programs and download her FREE Clarity + Courage Course by visiting FreedomJunkie.com

Days 172 to 177 – Death Is To Be Contemplated – Looking Love In The Eyes

“The more joy you have, the more perfect you are.” ~ Spinoza

Last night I couldn’t sleep. I started to worry about getting cancer again. Why? Probably because everything is going so well. And when things go really well, sometimes I worry about something really bad happening. And for many people, the worse thing they could think of is to get cancer. For me, that’s already happened – twice – so then I worry it will come back. It is very annoying.

In my coaching practice, I often remind clients that our life lessons are revisited over and over again. We look at our challenges like a spiral, where we pass through something again but in a different place, at a slightly – or radically – different vibration or perspective. This is one of mine. And this is where I walk my talk.

But what is this challenge, exactly? I think it is fear that life isn’t as perfect as I know it really is. A doubt that I may not be right. That perfection in all things isn’t possible. That I don’t have the right to be so happy or feel so perfect.

Then I do what I do with my clients in this space, “ So ‘What if,’ Ana? What if you got cancer again and it didn’t get better this time. What would you do differently?”

Know what was cool?

 I would do nothing differently. Well, maybe hang out with my mom more, but she’s coming up next month so I feel OK about that.

When I had this same scare a little over a year ago, I completely freaked out because I was not living my life to the fullest. To others it certainly looked like it. But for MY standards, for what I wanted, I knew I was selling myself short.

I changed a lot in my life since then – how much I work, how I spent my time, who I gave my love to. That whole scare is why I started my Full On 365 blog: to commit to living fully every day. No regrets. And it worked.

Now, with this same scare, I at least have a sense of peace that I am living fully, loving fully, feeling fully.

 It is priceless.

But it is still scary. The thought of leaving all I love before I feel ready (otherwise known as “dying”) is deeply scary.

I drop into memories of my deepest meditations, when I could feel in my cells that every being is timeless, that this limited “I” in this body, onto which I grasp so firmly, is an illusion, and that I am so much more than I even know; that even if I die, there is a wisdom and peace with it and a realization that there is no end. Like one of my fave teachers said, “Rejoice for those around you who transform into the force.” (Yoda;)

But the thought of not spending time with my partner and actualizing all our dreams, of my mother crying as she never fathomed life without me…these things bring tears to my eyes as I write this. Sometimes I don’t want to think about it. Yet, I know I need to. if anything, because it ensures I don’t waste my precious life. Or that I don’t take this beautiful planet we live on for granted.

Death is to be contemplated. To avoid thinking about it is to avoid looking love in the eyes. I say this because there is a certain realization brought about only by REALLY understanding you are going to die and that you don’t know when – that life and love are precious, and that you dare not waste another minute of your precious life energy on anything but living and loving fully. Until you realize this, sure – you can love, and even feel it is full-on…But there’s another, deeper, more rich level there. Trust me.

Do you have a hard time contemplating death? Do you have a practice of thinking about it regularly? Let me know what you do below – I’d love to hear from you!
Note: Ana Neff is a personal life coach, guide and FreedomJunkie™ She helps passionate people awaken their lives of freedom, adventure and purpose. Her monthly eZine goes out to hundreds of subscribers. Her “Full-On 365” blog posts stem from her commitment to living full-on, every day, for 365 days in a row. If you are ready to take your life and your world to the next level, you can learn more about her coaching programs and download her FREE Getting Clear Guide by visiting FreedomJunkie.com (note: it’s new look will be up to rock your world soon)!

Days 163 to 171 – I Hate Waiting For The Other Shoe To Drop

Here I am at the summit of Flat Top with Campbell Creek below and Ptarmigan peak in the background (where I climbed the couloir with my partner one lovely spring 12 years ago!). Awesome after-work hike!

I am so freakin’ happy I can’t stand it. Literally! It’s like my brain is so “logical” that it immediately starts calculating the statistics of how long this could exactly last.

It is terribly annoying.

I know I am not alone here. A lot of us, when things are going really well, remind ourselves that it can’t possibly last forever. Well duh. But constantly reminding ourselves of this doesn’t help us to enjoy it while it IS here.

The ebb and flow of happiness is an age-old truth. We feel joy, then something happens and we feel a funk. Then something happens and we feel joy again. And on and on. The key is to not be attached to one or the other (oh yes, many people get attached to the funk just as much as others get attached to the joy). Still, not being attached to a state of mind being that way forever and ever doesn’t mean to not enjoy it!

So here I am in Alaska, happily building a home with my partner, going for hikes in alpine mountain scenery, planning trips to the Aleutian Islands and Uganda and East Africa…dancing at the local pub a few blocks away, watching Freedom Junkie grow and grow, and Hellz Yes! I earned this shit! Better yet, I created this! I am sooooooo happy!

I step back from my life, and remind myself of what I teach – that we create our experience – and I am in awe of it all. I am in awe that I have visualized every bit of this happening, and now it IS happening. I visualized, and surrendered, and some things manifested immediately and some took years/over a decade, but – just as I created the challenges in my life, I created this magnificence. It feels so amazing.

I used to reminisce about those days when I would sit in silence in my 20s, maybe watching a sunset cozy in my sleeping bag in the desert somewhere, and think, “I am so happy. I don’t know what I did to deserve this, but whatever it is, Source, please let me keep doing it because I am so grateful for all I have right now.” That was when I lived out of my car and made about $11,000 a year.

For awhile I realized I hadn’t felt that way – that feeling of being utterly BLESSED – for a long time. A really long time. Then, it started coming back more and more. And here it is, full-force again. And what do I do?

Freak out that it’s going to end.

Well, I’ve been down this path before (remember: we revisit our challenges as in a spiral, over and over again, with a little different perspective and skillset each time) and I realize that I need to simply keep doing good work, being authentic, and fully enjoying the present. I need to not be afraid of when the tides shift. I need to be fully present and in the NOW. When I focus on what is going on in the present – and not fear what “might” happen – I am so freakin’ psyched!

I am blessed.

Sometimes I am embarrassed to say that. To say that I am so freakin’ in love with my life that I can’t stand it. Like I shouldn’t be this happy when others I love and care about are not doing so well. You know, feeling guilty like a good Catholic girl should;) But in the end, I know that it is the purpose of all of us to shine, and to manifest our magnificence, and I can’t wait for all those around me to keep on taking the risks they need to take to grow and to step into their creative power.

I know that I will be in a funk someday, and I’ll likely write about it here. But in the meantime, I am going to be so grateful for this joy.

I have learned that gratitude for what you DO have – whether you’re in a funk or in a state of feeling uber blessed – is your gift back to the Universe, to God, to Source.

What are you grateful for today? Let me know below. I’d love to hear about it so we can feel blessed together;) Misery may love company, but blessedness loves it even more!

Note: Ana Neff is a personal life coach, guide and FreedomJunkie™ She helps passionate people awaken their lives of freedom, adventure and purpose. Her monthly eZine goes out to hundreds of subscribers. Her “Full-On 365” blog posts stem from her commitment to living full-on, every day, for 365 days in a row. If you are ready to take your life and your world to the next level, you can learn more about her coaching programs and download her FREE Getting Clear Guide by visiting FreedomJunkie.com (note: it’s new look will be up to rock your world soon)!

How to Get Your MoJo On Before Its Too Late

“Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?” ~ Marie Oliver

Running errands, working late, losing sleep, making annoying phone calls and being put on hold, not working out again because you got home too late, not seeing your friends for a few weeks because you’ve got your nose to the grindstone…What’s the point?

What’s the reason behind all the things you’re doing every day? What’s the MoJo behind your ToDo list? In coaching, we talk about the “little a” agenda, and the “Big A” Agenda. The little “a” agenda is the list of all the little steps that get you to your Big “A” Agenda. The Big A is your dreams, your vision, your totally fulfilled, free and kick-ass life.

It’s important to know why you’re doing what you’re doing with your precious life energy, and it’s also important not to confuse the To Dos for the MoJo itself. When we confuse the little a for the Big A…then we’re really screwed. But more on that in a bit.

Let me start with an example of little a and Big A: I want to go to Africa and travel this Fall, as well as volunteer at a refugee camp. I want to write and create and inspire and dive into – with the freedom of time – the newest epic Freedom Junkie program I am creating. On top of that, a requirement is that I do not have to be anywhere at any given moment or be held accountable to anyone but myself, my partner, and the present moment. That’s my Agenda. That’s the MoJo behind my ToDos.

In the meantime, what do I need to do to get there?

  • Quit my job (the one where I loved it but didn’t have freedom of my time) – DONE. I did this a long time ago, but I like to remind myself everytime I do something cool about why I did it;)
  • Not get pregnant – DONE (ditto to the above)
  • Run my Freedom Junkie programs twice as often as usual since I won’t be doing them in the Fall – DONE
  • Save a bunch of money so that even though I may be earning money in the meantime, I don’t have to freak out that I NEED to, and end up coming home early because I am stressed out or something sucky like that. This means I had to save 3 months worth of expenses, at least. – DONE
  • Pay bills in advance – PENDING
  • Write my eZine articles in advance – PENDING
  • Tuck in all my loose ends and do all the crap I have been putting off so I can fully let go – definitely NOT DONE

So, a lot of little “a” things have to happen in order for my vision to happen. Some of them were really big freakin’ deals to pull off! A lot of things on YOUR ToDo list will need to happen in order for you to fulfill your MoJo too. your So, a lot of little “a” things have to happen in order for my vision to happen. Some of them were really big freakin’ deals to pull off! A lot of things onWhen I get stuck in how mundane things are because I am doing some annoying thing like spending half the day on the phone with insurance companies or filling out paperwork or screening renters for my house, getting all the service maintenance done on my car and doing prophylactic plumbing care on my vintage cottage (circa 1912, baby!), I remember my Big A. It helps.

Are you working overtime? When you feel yourself getting down on it and saying things like, “I can’t believe I’m missing out on watching the sunset on the river with my peeps,” how about saying, “I am making sure I’m getting to trek in Nepal in the Fall so I can fan the flames of my Freedom and Adventure MoJo?” That’s a much better place to have your perspective sit and take a rest.

Look at your daily habits and the things you are doing right now – your ToDo things. Are they getting you closer to, or further from, your dreams? Or are they keeping you stuck? Be honest with yourself.

Create and get clear about your vision,then make a list of ToDos that need to happen in order to be living that vision sooner than later. Then go out and do it – remembering, with focus, your reasons why.

Here are warning signs to watch out for when putting together the ToDos for your MoJo

Make sure your MoJo is honored every day.“Balance” in terms of an 8-hour workday and 8 hours of sleep is bull-honkey for most people. However, while you’re passionately cranking out the ToDos to get to your dream, make sure you celebrate some part of your MoJo. After all, you never know when you’re going to croak, so be sure to live a little passion every day. Have great sex. Eat good food. Play outside. In whatever order you like;)

Don’t keep doing things you don’t like with NO “Big A” Agenda in mind
For example, are you working overtime just to have “more money?” What the hell are you doing, amigo? I am now figuratively slapping you with a ltitle sting like in a Telenovela. Everything you do, even something seemingly banal or mundane, must contribute to your life dreams. And my bet is that if you’re a part of the Freedom Junkie Tribe, your dream isn’t to have a lot of money per se, but rather to feel free, have adventures, and take control of your time and money and where you are in the world. If financial abundance happens to come along with that wild ride, then sahweet – buy more drinks for your friends! In the Maldives;) Get in touch with your Big A – what values are you honoring?

Be aware of when your “little a” agenda items are for the purpose of someone else’s dreams, or an Agenda that is actually a really really bad idea that you forgot you were going to ditch once you realized your Badass Life was meant to be lived on your terms.

Like you used to think you wanted to be a doctor to save lives and help people. That was easy people-pleasing at cocktail parties. And you really really like shoes. You like them so much you are really freakin’ good at designing them and celebrating them. In fact, you are the only student in your medical school class who can pull off Fluvogs with scrubs.

You forgot you always wanted to open your own store. But then, in the middle of a 12 hour day indoors in the hospital on a sunny day, you remembered again. You remembered a lot of things about your dreams. So you quit med school. No shit. One of my friends did exactly that. And she has a badass shoe store and donates hundreds of pairs to kids in developing countries every year. Not Fluvogs. But you get the point.

Don’t make your Mojo items consistently eons into the future. Don’t wait for “someday.” Pick actual dates. Take, as Tim Ferriss says in The 4 Hour Work-Week, mini-retirements so that you refill your mojo regularly during this one wild and precious life. Don’t wait till you’re about to die!

Do not confuse your little a for your Big A. Do NOT work overtime thinking it will all be worth it “someday” if you never actually go on that trek in Nepal. You must go, or you’ll loose respect for yourself and your MoJo will whither. We’ve all done it. We’ve made plans, even taken some big leaps, then we make up excuses to turn away from our dreams. Then we keep doing the “little a” things all the time, and they eventually start to seem like Big A things because we forgot why they were so important, but we keep doing them anyway – but they’re not our Big A. They’re distractions.

Like checking Facebook or your emails 100 times a day so you feel important and seen and like people notice you, and that you’re doing really really well. Distraction. What could you be doing instead to get you to your big dream? All those little moments add up, hermana. One study showed employed people spend12.3 minutes on Facebook a day. That’s 76 hour a year – or 3 whole days! Another showed Americans spend 49 minutes a day on managing email. That’s 446 hours or 18.5 entire days!

In summary, I want you to get your MoJo on.

  • What’s Your Mojo? What are your big visions, your passions, your up-and-coming adventures?
  • What ToDos need to happen to manifest your MoJo?
  • How can you keep living your MoJo every day while you work towards that epic vision?

Please share your comments below:  I’d love to hear your answers to one or all of the questions above. When you speak it, there is power.

PS: If there is no MoJo behind what you’re doing, stop messing around. Discover your passions. Join the tribe at www.Facebook.com/TheFreedomJunkie and ask for some support. There are a bunch of wild and crazy Freedom Junkies out there who have been exactly where you are at!

Days 150 to 162 – A Very Sensitive Girlfriend

Here’s the flowers he brought me when picking me up from the airport. He said, “But I didn’t pick them.” How sweet is that!?

I am not quite sure what brings me to the precipice of insanity, but lack of sleep these days seems to be pretty good at it. My poor boyfriend. I have been cranking on getting my ducks in a row for a three-month adventure and as a result, I am a bit behind on the zzzzs. The problem is I LOVE what I do so much, I don’t really care that I am not sleeping well until I start feeling the consequences.

Take a lack of sleep and add: moving to a new state, having to make a whole new set of friends, learning two new sports in 6 months, both of which involve extreme cold, wet, big falls, or breathing water if you mess up, having to poo in a plastic bag while you build your bathroom, having to sell your motorcycle (gasp!) and trying to rent out or sell your house on your iphone at red light stops, not doing yoga for three weeks…

And what do you get?

A very sensitive girlfriend.

Well, at least that’s what my boyfriend gets. Everyone else gets my smile and my laughter and my big juicy hugs because I can do that even when sleep-deprived. But we all know that any relationship worth it’s salt involves vulnerability and intimacy and a whole bunch of other things that aren’t easy to pull off with a fleeting smile, and even harder to pull off with few chi reserves.

Let’s cut to the chase and get to the story. And a story it is. A grand story I created in my sleep-deprived mind.

My boyfriend spends a lot less money than I do. A LOT less. We both make a good living. We both have really good reasons for living the way we do. And we also really respect the values one another has that leads to us doing things differently. But when this wild woman starts getting cranky, I just wish that he did things my way sometimes. Go figure!

Helpful hint: I LOVE love love eating out. After so many years eating crap ghetto food and cold food on a mountain (even though I really do love beans and rice), it is quite the treat for me.

And it doesn’t bother me that he doesn’t eat out so much. I just go with my girlfriends and live it up. What DID bother me recently was when several days in a row we get invited to meet friends at fancy places and we – HE – goes, completely willingly! I’m watching him hang out with our friends as they order hundreds of dollars worth of food and beverage.

I boil inside. The monumental hypocrisy! At least that’s how it felt at the time.

(I am going to preface the following paragraph with acknowledging that my man is totally awesome and romantic, and that I was a bit on the precipice when I thought this. But, I’m being real about my being on the precipice here.)

OK. We’re back to the boil. I think, “Wouldn’t it be fucking AWESOME if he thought of taking his girlfriend who just moved to fucking Alaska and who is selling her freakin’ house to be here and who left her friends and community out on a fucking date to a fucking wine bar or something? Wouldn’t that be just fucking awesome???????!!!!!!!” It would. But perhaps not so fun with this particular version of her right now.

I don’t say anything. Until I’m about to get on the plane for a quick trip to Oregon.

I try to rationalize inside that I am feeling a disproprotionate amount of anger for what the situation is. Yet I don’t know how to express myself reasonably under all this sleep deprivation. Oh, the inner turmoil! (hand on forehead, look of exasperation…) So I just shut up and fold clothes or something. And I pray and pray he won’t ask me the question.

But then he asks, “What is wrong?” Oops. I let it rip. Not in a completely crazy-making way, but in a way that was much less effective than it could have been. OK, maybe it was in a moderately crazy-making way. Instead of saying, “It would be nice if you could take me on a date to a yummy restaurant sometime. I think it would be really romantic. I’m going through a lot of changes and it would be a fun thing for me to do,” I gave a version of what I gave you above without so many of the f-bombs.

Then I say how I wish he would say “I love you” more (even though I know perfectly well that it isn’t how he expresses love most of the time). And really I don’t wish that. I just wished I didn’t feel the way I did just then.

Then it somehow morphed into me dramatizing that I hate how he feels resentful about how hard I’m working when really I am working so much so that I don’t HAVE to work for three whole months! And isn’t he a lucky dude to have a successful woman who can also pull off 3-months of playing without much notice AND pay mortgages on a nice home and a ski condo? I have no idea where that came out of, but now I know that he came to the conclusion that I somehow think we don’t spend enough time together.

This type of miscommunication is what happens when you are tired.

I spent the next few days going over our relationship, and in particular remembering the book The 5 Love Languages.

I felt guilty. Not for wanting the things I do, but for the way in which I was asking for them. I knew better.

Sure, he doesn’t take me to fancy restaurants, but do you know what he does do? He calls me on satellite phones from the South Pole just to chat. He gets up an hour before I do in an Alaskan winter and heats the yurt before I get out of bed. He cooks me dinner almost every night, makes tea for me in the morning, and started buying locally and organic vegetables. He brought me berries for my green smoothies, and he moved to Oregon with me so we could grow closer as I transitioned. He picks me wildflowers and hides little love notes in my bags when we’re going to be apart for awhile.

He takes me on easy rivers to learn new ways to have adventures. He is patient and kind with me and supports my dreams. He brags about me. He makes things happen. He built our home. He is continually trying to make it more comfortable for me. He takes me dancing and holds me tightly when I’m crying. He meditates with me as we sit in the sun on rocks, and we do this groovy tai chi-yoga-contact-dance thing when we’re feeling crunchy. He adventures with me all over the world. He is very, very romantic. And much much more.

So I guess I could have said, “Hey, how about a date night to a nice restaurant? I’d like that. It would mean a lot to me. Surprise me sometime soon, please;)”

And I could have said, “Here’s what I noticed that makes me really appreciate you…Did I miss anything? I want to learn all the ways you love me.”

And I could have said, “I know. You wish I wasn’t so busy so that we could spend more time together, because you love me. And we’ve waited for this opportunity for a long time. I know it’s frustrating. Soon, amor, soon….”

Well, it’s always easier in hindsight. I’ve been getting more sleep, and I am really really excited to hang out with my man and play in the mountains. And make dinners. And do all the things that help me remember – every day – why I am so lucky to be with him. And I bet he’s feeling the same way, ‘cuz that’s how we roll. Lucky me;)

(PS: I bet a few of my wishes will come true really soon. Focus on what you want, peeps. Not on what you don’t want).

Note: Ana Neff is a personal life coach, guide and FreedomJunkie™ She helps pasionate people awaken their lives of freedom, adventure and purpose. Her monthly Jedi Juice™ eZine goes out to hundreds of subscribers. Her “Full-On 365” blog posts stem from her commitment to living full-on, every day, for 365 days in a row. If you are ready to take your life and your world to the next level, you can learn more about her coaching programs and download her FREE Getting Clear Guide by visiting FreedomJunkie.com (note: it’s new look will be up to rock your world soon)!