Days 83 to 86 Feeling Disconnected

Living Full-On Every DayMonday I danced in the warm rain. It felt so grounding to have raindrops landing on my face, feeling my body interact with the elements and with my surrounding environment. Being indoors (by that, I mean in a temperature-controlled house) felt stifling after I had spent so many of the last few days in Alaska sleeping outside, in a rustic cabin, yurt, or on a boat (where I was lulled to sleep as I felt the water make subtle shifts below me). Playing outside, I had been feeling the biting wind, the hot sun reflecting off the beautiful white snow, the cold ice running down my back and behind my bum when I flipped trying to make a tele turn on something slightly over my head. Here, indoors, I was feeling disconnected.

So I went outside as soon as I heard the first raindrops. I was going to just bring something to my car, when I head a bird fly overhead and looked up. I felt the first drop hit my face, and it was YUMMY! I put my things in the car and turned around to go back in the house and I paused at the first step on the walkway. I looked up again and felt more drops hit my skin. I was waking up! I took off my hoodie, and let myself take BIG deep breaths. The scent of fresh warm spring rain was intoxicating. I got soaked, and it came down even harder in a huge dump, and I laughed! Well, perhaps giggled is more appropriate of a descriptor, then guffaw.

I loved how something so simple could help me feel so connected and grounded again.

Recovering that feeling isn’t always so easy in relationships.

The past few days I have been feeling disconnected from my partner. We were both so busy, and we have only been able to catch 1-2 hours of awake time together this week. I missed him. And worse, I didn’t feel like he missed me. Even though he sends me cute texts and makes me dinner and we have yummy quickie sex because our morning schedules don’t permit anything else.

Of course, this is because I tend to catastrophize when I have too much coffee and because sometimes, I tend to convince myself that awesome things in my life are too good to be true (which, by the way, ultimately sabotages them – so watch out for that in your own life!). I even remember having this same feeling come up a few months ago, and it all ended up being nothing (this, of course, I discovered after putting myself through my own personal hell for a few hours).

I’ve learned that in recognizing habitual patterns and reactions, it is important to ask yourself, “What triggered this?” What emotion am I trying to soothe? Where did it come from?  What is the root cause (usually something having to do completely with your own shit)? What am I needing right now that I can give myself? It is important to know how to get your needs met without expecting someone else to do it for you. Friends and family and partners can help hold the space for you, but ultimately, you need to go there yourself.

Even with knowing that experiencing this feeling before was a drama of my own creation, I still REALLY want to have some deep conversation about my shitty feelings and what’s wrong and is there some god-awful truth I am not aware of and other such distracting questions. Is there something OUTSIDE of myself that I can’t control, or something so at my core that is so ME that is causing this, so that I can throw my hands up and give up and say, “Whew! I knew it! Glad I don’t have to work on being vulnerable and uncomfortable anymore. Bye!” Because while it is a whole lot more dramatic and exhausting, closing off the heart can seem a whole lot easier than staying open with your heart and being painfully and frighteningly vulnerable sometimes. Turning towards something can often feel harder than turning (or pushing) away.

So yes, that is why, in an I-am-completely-aware-this-is-an-upper-limit-problem kind of way, I still really want to have A TALK. But wait…

Is there a version of dancing in the rain that I can conjure up  in this scenario? I’d much prefer that. I find that when I can self-soothe when stressed or bummed out, that once I feel better, I have a healthier perspective, and if I STILL want to talk about something after that, I can do so in a much more productive and compassionate way.

Hmmm. What a clever idea.

So what grounds me and connects me to MY soul? Nature, adventure, being outside.

Today we are going to kayak. Well, he will kayak and I will be in the packraft (which I LOVE because I can plow through scary things more often than get flipped over). It might even rain on us while we’re out there. Sounds like a recipe for helping me feel connected.

Maybe the two of us, dancing on the water together in our boats, will do the trick;)

Stay tuned…

 

Note: Ana Neff is a personal life coach, guide and FreedomJunkie™ She helps individuals awaken their lives of freedom and personal success with confidence, clarity, self-love, and passion. Her monthly Jedi Juice ™ eZine goes out to hundreds of subscribers. Her Full-On 365 blog posts stem from her commitment to living full-on, every day, for 365 days in a row. If you are ready to take your life and your world to the next level, you can learn more about her coaching programs and download  her FREE Getting Clear Guide by visiting Anaverzone.com (note: it’s new look will be up to rock your world soon)! Sign up for her next FREE Jedi Juice Training call on the Law of Attraction at anaverzone.com/jedi-juice

Days 78 to 82 – Confessions of a Perfectionist

Living Full-On Every DayI know you all have seen photos that I’ve posted about backcountry skiing trips in Alaska and Colorado etc. What you may not know is that I’m relatively new to skiing. I’ve owned skis for a long time…but actually using them on a regular basis has somehow eluded me. I think it is that “fear of falling on my face at high speeds” thing. But admittedly, there’s more.

This year, Alaska got dumped on (where as the lower 48 got barely anything for most of the winter), my partner is from Alaska, and he definitely skis. So, I strapped those boards on more than ever this year, and it was a true experience in being humbled, and getting over my perfectionism (which  had conveniently forgotten about).

You see, I’m actually used to big mountains. Lots of skiers, when they come to Alaska, are at least temporarily overwhelmed by the largess of what surrounds them. The largess, I am used to. I’ve guided in the Himalaya and even in Alaska itself. The massive glaciers and peaks are awe-inspiring, and at the same time, I am more accustomed to them than most outdoorsy peeps. But with slippery boards attached to my feet, I was freaked out to be in those big mountains, to put it mildly. And beyond that, if I were being truly honest, it wasn’t even fear that bothered me so much, because I adapt that way pretty quickly.

Getting ready for to head out from the Homer Spit for some sailing and skiing

What got to me was sucking at something.

I am all about growth. After all, Full On 365 is about me pushing myself to grow in every humanly way possible, not just through physical challenges, but spiritual ones as well. And Alaska – as big mountains often do – pushed me to stretch in both ways this winter.

I know how to climb (rock snow, and ice), I know how to carry big heavy packs and suffer for the inevitably epic reward at the end of the adventure, and for the amazing times to be had on the journey itself. I know how to assess mountain terrain and cross big rivers and manage being in grizzly territory and plan big adventures in foreign countries and how to stay warm with very little clothing.

But, my dears, I know not how to ski very well. And that fact has kept me from doing it – often.

I have often spoken with my clients about how perfectionism, and needing to do something uber well every time can keep you from actually experiencing life –  and more importantly, from enjoying it! Who cares if you don’t do it perfectly, right?

I do.

I’d like to not care, but I do. And it has taken me a lot of work to move through that, which is why I think I can speak about it so well to my clients, and help them through it as well. So when perfectionism reared its ugly head again on this recent trip, I was taken aback.

Pretty much every trip to Alaska this winter involved skiing. And not just every trip, but every day. And I went along, a somewhat reluctant adventurer this time around, wanting to learn and get better (the only way to get better is to DO it!) and hang out with my tribe in beautiful places having an awesome time, even if I did fall on my ass (and face) all day.

Getting ready to ski – ocean to mountaintop! – at Jakalof Bay

However, every one of my friends is a really good skier. I mean REALLY good. Some of them don’t even climb, but many have been skiing for the larger part of their lives, and telemarking at least several years. I was on tele skis as well, which are trickier that alpine skis because your heel isn’t locked down to the ski itself, and it involves a refined technique to make downhill turns. The tradeoff is that because your heel isn’t locked down, it allows you to strap skins on and hike uphill – to big mountaintops and to remote places. Sahweet, and totally worth it for me! Plus, making a good tele turn is a high in and of itself. But falling on your face when everyone else is rockin’ it seemingly effortlessly down the slopes doesn’t feel so awesome.

On this last trip, my partner and I happened to also go sailing – an absolutely stunning trip with incredible views and fortunate weather. We brought skis, too. We were going to be out for 2.5 days, and we skied for the first day above Jakalof Bay on Broken Knife. It was hard going uphill in funky snow for me (oh yeah, I forgot to mention – not only was skiing hard, but being out of shape hiking uphill in skis didn’t help either. I didn’t do much of that in Oregon the last few months). Then it was sketchy coming down in crusty heavy wet snow and I fell every two turns. We had to navigate through trees and gullies to get back to the road before hiking back down to the boat. But it was gorgeous at the top, and I felt satisfied back at the boat and relieved after having survived.

The next day, my partner suggested we go for a beach hike, or a sail into some other bays. I was pleased at this. To have a day when I wasn’t struggling up  – or down – a mountain was a lovely thought to me. It sounded so…relaxing.

Then, a boatload of people (literally) pulled up in skies at the dock we had slept at, and two of Thai’s friends (Thais is my partner – I always forget to just say his name) showed up inviting us to ski. He looked at me and said, “So what do you think?”

Just before falling on my face every two turns

And I wanted soooooo badly to shout back, “WTF do you think!!!!! NO I don’t want to ski. I’m tired of being stressed out and feeling lame and sucky at something. I am tired of struggling uphill and feeling out of shape and clumsy. I would like to do something I am fucking GOOD at today!”

But I didn’t yell that. I just said calmly, “The last thing I want to do right now is go backcountry skiing with a bunch of strangers.” And he understood.

But you see, I think I WOULD have liked to have gone. What I didn’t want was to feel all that incompetence and struggle and other icky feelings. And I realized that was ALL MY SHIT. Thai didn’t care if I was slow or if I fell. He loved being out there with me no matter what. And I felt a sadness that I was keeping myself from having another adventure. If I didn’t care what other people thought, if I didn’t compare myself to others, I would have gone, at my own pace, in my own way.

Sigh.

So I took a walk to the end of the dock after everyone left for their kick-ass adventure, and I sat on the edge, looking at the mountains and at the reflections in the beautiful water, and I cried. I didn’t like feeling embarrassed or scared to do something. I didn’t like feeling like I was holding my partner back (I told him to catch up to them and go, while I hung out and read and went for a hike or something, but he wanted to stay with me). Whatever was going on, I didn’t like it. But I let it wash over me. It was so obvious to me that it was my shit, my deep feelings of self-worth and all that shtuff were getting their buttons pushed. So I opened to it all. I was surprised by it, but attentively watched it all move through me like a movie.

Views of distant volcanoes from Tutka Bay

Then I allowed myself to receive my partner’s hugs and words of love and encouragement, and we set sail. The water was stunning and perfect and we had porpoises playing around us, views of the marine volcanoes across the water, and watched sea otters and loons and it was just…life at its finest.

I felt better.

(Here’s a video of the porpoises playing ear the boat: http://youtu.be/f9hLElIRia8 )

The next day, we met some friends at a mountain cabin for a work party, and we almost didn’t ski because it was drizzling and there was a lot of work to be done on the cabin. But then it got a bit warmer, and it was decided that skiing was the thing to do. Ugh.

I had left my skis at the car for these last two days in Alaska. And I was going to continue to leave them there. I was with a group of guys, all of whom go backcountry skiing almost every day after a long day at work, when most people make dinner and go to bed. Hell no I was not going to ski again. Especially after my messed up epic falling every two turns at Broken Knife.

But these guys are convincing, and kind, and oh so sweet, and they repeatedly told me how it didn’t matter, that we wouldn’t be doing anything epic and that I could turn around whenever I wanted. But what really got me was when our friend Cliff said, “You have to get your skiing mojo back, You have to remember that skiing isn’t about the falling or the crappy snow. Come out and get your mojo back.”

Again, the reluctant skier, I went.

And IT WAS FREAKIN’ AMAZING!

We hiked up to this gorgeous broad face of snow, hung out at the top and shared some scooby snacks, then we skied down. I fell once, but before and after that, I linked beautiful turns in perfect spring snow, and took in the views and laughed and smiled a HUGE smile because it was so incredibly fun.

Mojo back.

So, I am not saying one should push themselves to being uncomfortable every day in order to grow. I am also not saying that wanting to just rest on the sailboat was in anyway “wrong” on my part. But what I do want to remind myself of is that I cannot let my desire to be good at something (let alone kick-ass at something) keep me from doing it imperfectly.

Do it imperfectly. The imperfect moments in life are TOO MUCH FUN.

 

Note: Ana Neff is a personal life coach, guide and FreedomJunkie™ She helps individuals awaken their lives of freedom and personal success with confidence, clarity, self-love, and passion. Her monthly Jedi Juice ™ eZine goes out to hundreds of subscribers. Her Full-On 365 blog posts stem from her commitment to living full-on, every day, for 365 days in a row. If you are ready to take your life and your world to the next level, you can learn more about her coaching programs and download  her FREE Getting Clear Guide by visiting Anaverzone.com (note: it’s new look will be up to rock your world soon)! Sign up for her next FREE Jedi Juice Training call on the Law of Attraction at Anaverzone.com/jedi-juice

 

Days 74 to 77 – Alaskan Tidbits

thai and ana matanuska
Matanuska River Valley (me and Thai)

Alaska has done it again. Won my heart. Lifted my spirit. Grounded me in my body and my being and to this earth.

This weekend we were going to go to Portage Glacier for an adventure. But it rained (and blessed be the friends and thei iPhones with good reception that let us know what the weather was like before we drove all the way over there!).

So we put on the breaks, drove north to the Matanuska River Valley (I always wondered where Matanska was…for realz!) and did the most epic and Living Full-On Every Dayadventurous…CAR CAMPING! We set up a HUGE tent in which there was a kitchen table and stove. We had a portable wood burning stove (it even had a tall stovepipe that threatened to fall over on us and melt our fancy gear) that kept us toasty, and there was fiddle playing, trumpet trumpeting, and iPhone tripping (listen here: iPhone wawa). Even a mandolin. And wine and rum and LOTS of stars.

Cliff Wilson on the backyard ski
Cliff Wilson on the backyard ski

The next morning, after blissful sleeping in, I got bit by my first mosquito of the season (yes, they are the size of birds here, even in early spring). We then skied in our “backyard,” and visited some friends across the valley before skiing back home to our Bibler tents.

That eve, we ran into Anchorage and had an epic Vietnamese dinner cooked for us by Thai’s brother, Tonio, before crashing out in our cozy yurt (which is much more cozy now that it was last month…like 10-20 degrees cozier).

ana greanite mountain
me on an after-work ski, with Granite Mountain in the background

Yesterday morning we drove back to the Matanuska Valley and I had a day of amazing Full On client calls. After our workday, we skied to Granite Mountain before having an incredible dinner cooked for us by friends here in Matsu (and the most ridiculously yummy havarti and parmesean cheese biscuits ever!).

Today, I woke up seeing a breathtaking view (see below). Then Thai went to his clinic while I worked on Full On, and we paused mid-day to make lunch along the Matanuska river bank (cheese quesadillas with egg). After that I had an uber fun Question and Answer group coaching call with my Ziji Up Mastery Program peeps.

Tonight? Arctic Entries storytelling back in Anchorage. The theme is “Pioneers: stories of sourdoughs, homesteaders, and self-starters.” Psyched! And tomorrow we head out for a sailing trip to Homer and beyond.

matanuska river valley
My view of the Matanuska River Valley from the deck

The best part is I have caught up on sleep, and am finally feeling like myself again. I’ve got ENERGY!!!! Watch ouuuuuuttttt world!

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Note: Ana Neff is a personal life coach, guide and FreedomJunkie™ She helps individuals awaken their lives of freedom and personal success with confidence, clarity, self-love, and passion. Her monthly Jedi Juice ™ eZine goes out to hundreds of subscribers. Her Full-On 365 blog posts stem from her commitment to living full-on, every day, for 365 days in a row. If you are ready to take your life and your world to the next level, you can learn more about her coaching programs and download  her FREE Getting Clear Guide by visiting anaverzone.com (note: it’s new look will be up to rock your world soon)! Sign up for her next FREE Jedi Juice Training call at anaverzone.com/jedi-juice

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Days 70 to 73 – Fall in Love With Yourself

Living Full-On Every DayI was beating myself up for multi-tasking today. Yesterday, I was in the middle of doing something with a dear friend when she told me her husband was just diagnosed with cancer. Now, I’ve had cancer twice, and I know how that affected my loved ones when they found out. And I was flat-out PISSED that I was having to finish this “thing” we were doing before I could be totally present with her. I was thinking, “WTF!? How can I keep having to do this without stopping and giving her a hug?!” It pained me.

Well, for starters, we were in a surgery, so yeah, I couldn’t hug her. But I put my forehead against hers and we waited until the end.

Then later I was checking email on my phone and my mom called so I answered and put her on speaker phone and kept checking my email and I thought, “Wait! This is your MOTHER! What if she dies tomorrow? And the last time you talk to her you were thinking about flight times?” (BTW in case you haven’t noticed, the thought of me or others dying doesn’t freak me out. It reminds me to “Wake The Fuck Up!”) Sorry for all the F-bombs;)

I have vowed to not multitask today. Not for the weekend – just for today. You see, I am addicted to getting shit done!

I was going to write more about this addiction of mine, when a recent email from a client popped up for some reason (OK Universe, I’m listening!), and it said, “Thank you…I am falling in love with myself again” (you know who you are – yay;). Then I opened another email from a FullOn365 reader that said, “I am focusing every day on my healing and letting go of the idea that I must be a mother at all costs. We are all spirits having a human experience and this is mine to have that with…I need to advance.”(you know who YOU are;) Yes. YES. YESSS!!!!!Then all these images came flooding in of the sistahs in my Ziji Up Mastery Program talking about how amazing it feels to start nurturing a sense of self-love again.

So I guess I’ll write about that, even though there is kind of no segue. There must be a reason, and you have to listen when it calls;) Maybe it means something particularly special for someone out there.

Here’s the take-home point ahead of time, in case you can’t read further:

We must all fall in love with ourselves (again).

As kids it was much more easy to love ourselves. Then we made a few mistakes because hey, we were like 5…then it became relatively easy to beat ourselves up. And as we got older it was easier to look at how messed up things have gotten and feel like we are broken. And it seemed to have happened so quickly, this falling out of love with ourselves.

YOU ARE NOT BROKEN.

100% of the time (yes, EVERY TIME) when a client tells me they feel they are broken, then they tell me the shit they’ve been through, I think, “Damn sistah! You’ve been through hell and back and here you are. If you were broken, you wouldn’t be here with me right here and right now. Welcome.”

Just because we make the same mistakes, just because we keep screwing up, just because bad shit keeps happening to us doesn’t mean we are broken. It means we are still having a lesson to learn. It means we need to do things differently. Maybe it means we need more support. It also means we are needing to fall in love with ourselves. So many of us can offer this love and compassion to others, yet leave the scraps for ourselves. All the above means a whole lot of things – but NOT that you are broken.

START LOVING YOURSELF – FIRST! It is the best thing you can do for others! I am not saying to be selfish (although many of you may have an inner voice that tells you loving yourself first is selfish, but that’s OK. Just hang with me here for a bit). I am talking basic facts – only through taking care of yourself can you take care of others.

You know on the airplane, how they tell you to put the mask on YOURSELF before YOUR CHILD?! It ain’t rocket science, baby. And did you know that many ailments in adulthood stem from events happening in-utero, with the little person developing in their mama and those mamas not eating well, or resting, or exercising, or avoiding stress (aka loving on themselves)? It’s true!

One of the basic philosophies that I was trained in (and believed in even before I went through my coaching program) is to view my clients as naturally creative, resourceful, and whole. This seemed natural to me, yet apparently it is not how most people view themselves or others…especially others asking for help.

YOU are naturally creative, resourceful, and whole. You kick ass. You are a badass waiting to be let out of your shell. A frickin’ puma in a cage. You are all of that, and MORE. So let yourself OUT and love yourself. And just so you don’t think I’m full of it it because I may not know you, check this out: WE ARE ALL THAT WAY. Even that ex you don’t think so highly of. Even your critical annoying sister. Even your angry father. We all just got off track in understanding what we truly needed to be happy and stopped loving on ourselves, and therefore on others (mean people always dislike themselves more than they ever dislike anyone else).

Do you know why we treat ourselves so poorly (we can be SO MEAN to ourselves! Listen to what these inner gremlins say!)? It is because deep down we KNOW we can do better. We KNOW we can make better choices. And we’re pissed that we don’t let ourselves out of the cage that we can – in an instant – open with one thought; that thought being, “I am worthy of love, and I am able.”

There’s more, “Not only that, but I am able because that is what I was born to do. I am magnificent because I was born to be nothing less. So now I am going to start living like it. Start showing up the way I was meant to.” And FIRST showing up for yourself in the way you need to

I say don’t just think you are enough. Know you are MORE than enough. And again, start with loving yourself.

When we decide to fall in love with ourselves again, it can be easy to start on the mental trip of going through all our regrets and trying to convince ourselves we are worthy of forgiveness.

Here’s the good news: Just start with treating yourself well. Rest when you’re tired. Play when you’re bored. Get a massage. Call in sick (but don’t get sick!) Take yourself out on a date. Hire a house cleaner. Get up early and meditate (as long as you’ve had enough sleep!). Go to bed by 9pm (gasp!). Have a  foot soak and watch a funny movie. Take a long weekend to climb that mountain you’ve been wanting to climb. You get the idea.

I’d love to hear what you do for self care – and therefore self love. Please share;)

Shizzle. I hope all that helped you feel a little love inside 😉

 

(PS: check out the Jedi Juice™ training call in May on making choices to help you be alignment with lovin’ on yourself;)

Note: Ana Neff is a personal life coach, guide and FreedomJunkie™ She helps individuals awaken their lives of freedom and personal success with confidence, clarity, self-love, and passion. Her monthly Jedi Juice ™ eZine goes out to hundreds of subscribers. Her Full-On 365 blog posts stem from her commitment to living full-on, every day, for 365 days in a row. If you are ready to take your life and your world to the next level, you can learn more about her coaching programs and download  her FREE Getting Clear Guide by visiting anaverzone.com (note: it’s new look will be up to rock your world soon)! Sign up for her next FREE Jedi Juice Training call at anaverzone.com/jedi-juice

 

The Power of Choice

“The Power of Choice”

(and the freedom of owning your sh#t!)

 

A FREE and FUN Jedi Juice™ Training Call

Thursday, May 17th

Time: 5pm PST, 6pm MDT, 7pm CDT, 8pm EDT

 

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You don’t have to be a Global Leader or a Hollywood celebrity for your choices to have a huge impact. No matter who you are, you are constantly shaping the world around you with your choices. Just like a kaleidoscope, every twist and turn you choose colors your life in a new way.

From where you choose to live, to the people you choose to spend time with, to what time you decide to get out of bed…your choices are shaping your life, and the ENTIRE world around you…ALL THE TIME.

So in order for you to have a different and epic life – a life you consider FULL-On – you must push through your resistance, challenge your current patterns and learn to make NEW choices to open exciting new doors of possibility.

In an information-packed training call, you’ll discover…
• How your LIMITING BELIEFS may be screwing up your health, finances, relationships and overall happiness without you even realizing it, and a quick and easy Jedi shift to DRAMATICALLY turn things around
• How you TRAIN PEOPLE HOW TO TREAT YOU – and stop tolerating
• Secrets to creating NEW POSSIBILTIES for yourself in a way that feels empowering
• The keys to gaining greater clarity so you can make CLEAR CHOICES
• How to ERADICATE the harmful, crippling effects of DOUBT and step into a state of possibility
• How to QUICKLY visualize the right choice at the right time…
• And so much more…

You see, it’s really not that hard.

Once you identify the thoughts and beliefs that shape your actions and outcomes, you can consciously shift those beliefs and behaviors to maximize your potential and start getting the kinds of results you desire.

Because honestly, if your life doesn’t look the way you feel it should, then it’s up to YOU to make a change for the better. It’s as simple as making a new choice…

If you do what you’ve always done, you’ll get what you’ve always gotten. During The Power of Choice, you’ll pinpoint the thoughts that drive your actions, and learn how to choose NEW thoughts to create – literally – the life of your dreams.

During this uber juicy Jedi training, you’ll also…

• Learn how to RISE ABOVE your circumstances and see the possibilities…
• Throw off self-imposed limitations & give yourself permission to CHOOSE…and start being treated the way you want to be treated.
• Actively RE-PROGRAM the wiring of your mind to achieve your dreams…
• Learn about writing your own BADASS MANIFESTO and start being treated the way you want (and deserve) to be
• AND MUCH, MUCH MORE…

The Jedi Juice calls are also packed with interactive activities. You don’t just sit around and listen to me talk on these trainings. That is so not yoda-like 😉. You will actually participate and learn! So reserve now. As I said, this is a supah-packed, content-rich training call, and it’s full of insights, Jedi mind tools, and inspirations that you’ll use for the rest of your life.

OH, and one more thing in case you didn’t notice…IT’S FREE.

That’s right – this entire training call is yours to attend, absolutely FREE, as my gift to you for being inspired to live Full On.

Don’t waste another second unconsciously throwing roadblocks onto your own path and getting in your own way. You are a powerful badass beyond measure, and it’s time to harness that power and use it for GOOD. Open the doors to your own potential, so you can help inspire others to do the same.

Register NOW, before you miss out on CREATING YOUR FULL-ON LIFE.

[button link=”https://zijilife.infusionsoft.com/app/form/power-of-choice-free-training-call” size=”xl” color=”red” window=”yes”]Reserve Your Spot Now![/button]

Space on this call is limited because we actually talk and interact and learn, so reserve your spot early! Register now before someone else grabs your spot…

To Living Full On,

PS. If there’s someone in your life who could benefit from making better choices, by all means, PLEASE SEND THEM THIS LINK;)

I promise you…they’ll thank you for it;)

Days 66 to 69 – Creating Kicks Ass

Living Full-On Every DayCreating kicks ass. I know this, because I had my first free three-day weekend in a while (meaning not only did I not have schedule work, but I also had no other plans made) and I chose to focus on Freedom Junkie and create. And you know what? It was awesome. Of course, it would have even more awesome if I were able to do what I did in the wilderness with a view of snow-capped rugged peaks (hmmmm…perhaps that magazine cover with me using an iPad while backpacking isn’t so far from reality as I had originally thought…). However, being able to look out my window and see the distant hills, the blue sky, these gorgeous tree blossoms, and know that I  would have uninterrupted time to create was such an indulgence.

I have often thought about the time available to us in our youth. Sometimes seemingly wasted time, with us lacking the wisdom to “make the most of it.” I have often wistfully yearned for the freedom to have a thought, and ponder it for hours. The hours! What a luxury. And here I gave myself permission to geek out on Ziji for an entire weekend. No answering any calls except from my partner or my mother. No errands. No laundry. Just pure creation. And I couldn’t wait for it to start!

The result? No more jotting down notes while driving, no more dictating blog ideas into my iPhone. No wishing that I was able to completely focus on my genius work (not something I am good at, or even excellent at, but something that fills my cup, that nourishes my soul). I immersed myself in Ziji and it was phantastic;)

I created four new Free Training Calls (aka Jedi Juice). I named them Jedi Juice because of the total badass-ness of the power of creation they open you up to…and because Yoda es el señor). I decided I was going to offer them for free. I got super psyched to pick the topics most important to my Ziji peeps. I got uber invested in offering unbeatable value in everything I offered. I stayed up until 4am writing. I slept in. I did yoga. I went on runs in the hills. I had ideas and I thought about them. For a long time. Uninterrupted.

Revolutionary.

I was on a creative retreat, and I’d never really taken one before.

The first day of this stretch, I held a Ziji Up Mastery Program group coaching call. Then I sat in a steamroom for 30 min and  afterwards I got a 90 minutes massage. Then I sat in the steamroom again. Then I created two new programs that night. Talk about return on investment! I stayed up awhile, but I was jazzed.

So…create! Go forth and freakin’ create! When you are doing something you love, all the work and what you create it is merely love manifested – not burdensome.

What fills your creative soul? Is it singing? Writing? Dressing up or doing your hair or makeup? Is it planing a backcountry expedition? Is it organizing a trip to a remote part of the world? WHAT IS IT?

You must find the answer if you don’t know it yet. If you do know it, DO it and BE it now.

We are creative beings, and to manifest our creative destiny is one of the greatest gifts we can leave this world. If you don’t think you’re “creative” because you don’t know how to draw or because your outfits are boring (“How did she EVER think of wearing socks on her ARMS?” you wonder), or because you’re a science geek, think again.

We are all creative, and we must find our own way of expressing it. Maybe for you it is dance, writing love letters, telling jokes, or cooking, mountain biking, or building a boat! Those are creative acts. Those acts are you expressing yourself in your own way, doing it in your style.

Bring it. The world will be a better place because of it.

 

Note: Ana Neff is a personal life coach, guide and FreedomJunkie™ She helps individuals awaken their lives of freedom and personal success with confidence, clarity, self-love, and passion. Her monthly  Freedom Junkie ™ eZine goes out to hundreds of subscribers. Her Full-On 365 blog posts stem from her commitment to living full-on, every day, for 365 days in a row. If you are ready to take your life and your world to the next level, you can learn more about her coaching programs and download  her FREE Getting Clear Guide by signing up at anaverzone.com! Sign up for her next FREE Jedi Juice Training call at anaverzone.com/jedi-juice

Days 61 to 65 – Full On Abnormal (the odd girl out)

Living Full-On Every DayIt has been a totally “normal” last few days for me. However, to most it seems quite abnormal. For example, in one day, I saw midwifery patients, had coaching clients, was the model for a magazine cover shot at sunset (I got to hike during it!), taught a super fun Ziji Up Mastery Program workshop in the evening, and then filmed a late-night video audition for an internet TV channel (no, not porn). Oh, and I also snuck in a yummy dinner and pinot noir wine flight at our local wine bar.

OK fine…that was kind of more busy than usual. But really, my days usually seem to be full of random things…and I LOVE IT! I also love how I love seemingly opposite things, and that I can have my cake and eat it too. I like that I can say, “I love this and that, even if it doesn’t make any sense to you.” Life is so much more fun that way.

Someone once asked me what kind of music I liked. I remember their amusement when I said, “Anything, as long as its good!” Made sense to me…

I love having days like the one I described above, where every moment is full-on. And I also love having days where the best and most full-on thing that happens to me is that when I am feeling overwhelmed and about to crumble a bit, I find a little love egg hidden by my partner (see a picture of the one I found two days ago above). And, despite my exhaustion, I can still feel his energy and passion and adoration fill me. And I cry a little but it feels good.

one of the LOVE eggs I found the other day

I had another day recently where I delivered 2 babies in 4 hours all before 5am – one a little teeny baby that was so tiny (duh…redundant), and she was miraculous and a little fighter and she did awesome – and I was so pooped but so happy! Then I designed a webpage for my audio and video files of my most recent Ziji workshop and had so much fun with everything I learned!

I do yoga and run, and also love sitting on my ass and watching movies. I drink wine and even take drags off my friends’ cigarettes when I am feeling particularly spunky and still do 3-week cleanses with no alcohol/sugar/processed foods/gluten etc. I love spending every moment of the day with my partner and also the stretches of days I have all to myself. I love my sweet home with a sauna and view on the hill, and yet I also love the simplicity of living out of my backpack and everything I own fitting into my car.

I love my fit body, and I also feel indebted to the lessons I learned from having cancer, and the person I have become as a result. I love getting stinky in the mountains and having battle scars of cuts and bruises from the climbs I’ve done, and I love shaving my legs and feeling them silky smooth. I love having bursts of energy (like when your puppy does sprinting laps around the house) that inspires me to dance naked in my kitchen (maybe with a wig on), and also I love surrendering to massages and long stretches of time staring off into space and watching the clouds or the stars so long that I see them move.

I love a lot of things, and sometimes that makes me a busy, whacky lady. But as long as I also take time to recover and rejuvenate and be present for the people in my life, it’s all good by me.

One day I caught one of my exes looking up symptoms on the computer trying to diagnose me. He concluded I had ADHD. I concluded it was high time for a divorce.

I am abnormal baby, and I freakin’ love it! In fact, I think I was born with an innate fear of being normal, or average, or (gasp!) bored.

I am meant to be extraordinary – and so are YOU!

So. Be. It.

Note: Ana Neff is a personal life coach, guide and FreedomJunkie™ She helps individuals awaken their lives of freedom and personal success with confidence, clarity, self-love, and passion. Her monthly Jedi Juice ™ eZine goes out to hundreds of subscribers. Her Full-On 365 blog posts stem from her commitment to living full-on, every day, for 365 days in a row. If you are ready to take your life and your world to the next level, you can learn more about her coaching programs and download  her FREE Getting Clear Guide by signing up at anaverzone.com! Sign up for her next FREE Jedi Juice Training call at anaverzone.com/jedi-juice

Days 57 to 60 – Besties

Living Full-On Every DayThis post will be in bullet points, because things are a bit full on to write a loquacious one. You see, today I’ve got to drive from San Francisco to Oregon, and tomorrow I’ve got several kick-ass Ziji client calls, then a photo shoot (for the cover or a local magazine! Yeehaw!) then a Ziji Up! Workshop in the eve, and finally, I’ll record a short video on confidence for a colleague’s uber popular website. Whew! So whaddya think…bullet points OK? One full-on event for each of the last few days

• Day 57 – created an awesome teleseminar for April on adapting to change. I can’t wait to get on the phone with more Ziji peeps and talk about skills for Jedi mind juju to get through times when it feels like you’re swimming rapids in life. PS: it’ll be free so can an eye out for details next month

• Day 58 – I honored my needs and didn’t go out late with friends, even though I really really wanted to. Instead, I went to an amazing workshop during the day, then had a lovely evening of tapas with my “lil’ sis” and fell asleep by 10pm after sending a mushy text to my man. It was a sahweet slumber;)

• Day 59 – drove to San Francisco and actually enjoyed the views of Mt. Shasta and the valleys and sunset along the way (instead of multi-tasking), and did a lot of catching up with people I hadn’t spoken to in awhile. And i also got more clear about the upcoming FullOn365.com logo (creating is so fun! Especially with people you dig;)

• Day 60 – had an amazing evening with two of my besties at Sol Food (amazing Puerto Rican cuisine) then hot tubbing under the stars, then champagne and chick flick. I slept sooooo well;)

Girlfriends kick ass.

Note: Ana Neff is a personal life coach, guide and FreedomJunkie™ She helps individuals awaken their lives of freedom and personal success with confidence, clarity, self-love, and passion. Her monthly Jedi Juice ™ eZine goes out to hundreds of subscribers. Her Full-On 365 blog posts stem from her commitment to living full-on, every day, for 365 days in a row. If you are ready to take your life and your world to the next level, you can learn more about her coaching programs and download  her FREE Getting Clear Guide by signing up at anaverzone.com! Sign up for her next FREE Jedi Juice Training call at anaverzone.com/jedi-juice

From Hopelessness to Happiness – A Learnable Life Skill

“Rather than letting our negativity get the better of us, we could acknowledge that right now we feel like a piece of shit and not be squeamish about taking a good look.” ~ Pema Chodron

I had a very sad experience this past week. A family had lost their baby, in the hospital, within 24 hours of their birth, from an accident. The air was heavy with compassion, as well as the underlying fear that something just as horrible could happen to us – by accident. The intensity of the grief was palpable, and I was in awe of how humans can actually make it through an experience like that.

Many people do get through life’s formidable challenges and continue with their lives, albeit changed. I got to thinking about resiliency, and how some people seem to take life’s blows – big or small – with relative grace, and others get thrown and sucked down by relatively less stressful events. What was up with that?

What helps people bounce back (or stay steady to begin with)?

I’ll give two examples of different perspectives that I’ve seen recently (names changed, of course).

If life could be graded, Christina would give hers an F.U. Her new job is stressful, her teenage daughter is struggling with depression, she and her husband are fighting a lot lately, and she hates herself for the extra 30 pounds she’s carrying.

Christina feels hopeless and her life seems depressing and dark. Every setback reinforces her feelings of pessimism and grim certainty that nothing will ever get better.

Barbara’s struggles seem just as daunting. Her husband just lost his job, two months after the birth of their first child. She is responsible for her elderly mother, who is becoming increasingly frail. To make things worse, her best friend and main support is moving to another state (yikes!) and the landlord just raised the rent by $200. Despite all this, Barbara gives her life a strong B+ and knows there are some A+wesome days ahead.

I’ve done my share of studying and exploring mindset and it’s effect on resiliency and optimism. A lot of my interest started because I grew up in the ghetto, and I wondered why some of us “got out,” and others didn’t. Most people don’t believe me when I say that about the ghetto, but then I point out that the movie Dangerous Minds was based on my neighborhood, and then they believe me.

Growing up, I watched most of my friends join gangs, drop out of school, and have babies by the time they were 16. I had a gun pointed at my face, point blank, when I was 15. When he pulled the trigger he aimed it just left of my head to be funny. To top it off, I had a schizophrenic bipolar father, an (ahem) challenging and aggressive mother, and I walked around – literally – with holes in my shoes.

But dangit, if that paragraph had you wanting to buy me a Coke, let me tell you: I was somehow happier than my other friends were.

For a long while I thought I was messed up somehow. For realz! Like I didn’t understand some “mature” truth about life that somehow made it suck more.

Then I started to pick up on the fact that despite my father being schizo-affective, when he wasn’t having paranoid delusions, he was actually super funny and positive. And my mother, while needing a few courses on anger management back then, was utterly unfailing in the way she supported anything I wanted to accomplish, and bounced back from adversity pretty quickly. And it was REAL! For both of them!

Somehow, our life wasn’t “ideal,” but we were going to have enjoy it anyway. And my parents always said, “Obstacles can become opportunities.” (We heard a baptist preacher give a speech at a graduation once, and he went through each letter of the alphabet like that, e.g. challenges into consciousness, and they stuck.) My one other friend from my neighborhood who went to college? Also optimistic. Ever since we were kids it was obvious.

Snap! I started thinking that while optimism wasn’t the only reason, it was probably a big one.

Using the examples above, I’ll bet your bottom dollar that unlike Christina, Barbara sees her setbacks as temporary obstacles to be overcome. To her, crises are a part of life, opportunities for her to gain wisdom and courage.

Put simply, some people are optimists and others are pessimists. However, optimism isn’t an accident–it’s a skill that can be learned, one that can help us feel better, resist depression and greatly improve our lives. I learned it from my parents, for sure. Studies have also shown that some part of optimism (a SMALL part) is indeed a biological wiring of our brain but – HEY! If you have pessimistic tendencies, don’t go down the “permanent” path – it is malleable! You can teach yourself, and learn, how to be optimistic. And that means you can teach yourself to be healthier and happier.

I Can Learn to Be Optimistic? Prove it!

OK.

Psychologist, clinical researcher, and bestselling author Martin Seligman has spent 25 years studying optimism and pessimism, and is one of the founding leaders of the Positive Psychology field. In his book, Learned Optimism, he states that pessimistic thinking can undermine not just our behavior but our success in all areas of our lives.

“Pessimism is escapable,” he writes. “Pessimists can learn to be optimists.” Does this mean when you are optimistic that you walk around ignoring suffering and negativity? Hellz no! It means you learn to not spiral down into a place where you are doing yourself more harm than good. And it means you don’t spend all your energy trying to protect yourself from suffering because you get that it is a part of life, so you might as well get on the bouncing-back-quickly bandwagon and learn some skillz. It means that you give yourself and others the benefit of the doubt, and you have a more positive experience in life, and more happiness, even if nothing else in your life changed.

So why not, right?!

By altering our view of our lives, we can actually alter our lives, Seligman says. First, we must recognize our “explanatory style,” which is what we say to ourselves when we experience a setback (aka gremlin alert). By breaking the “I give up” pattern of thinking and changing our interior negative dialogue, we can encourage what he calls “flexible optimism.”

He believes that focusing on our innate character strengths (wisdom, courage, compassion), rather than our perceived failures boosts not just our moods, but our immune system. Research has shown that optimistic people tend to be healthier and experience more success in life; therefore, he encourages parents to develop the patterns of optimism in their children.

Practicing “spiritual optimism” is another way to improve the quality of our lives. Joan Borysenko, psychologist, speaker and author of several books, including Fire in the Soul, encourages people who experience feelings of despair and hopelessness in times of crises to remember it takes courage to live, and that we can find that courage by facing our fears, finding support and using meditationm or prayer.

Similar techniques outlined by Dr. David Burns in his book Feeling Good: “The New Mood Therapy,” have been effective in treating depression. He believes that changing our thinking has a profound effect on our moods, including cases of severe depression. It’s not our lives that depress us, he writes, but our thinking about our lives.

There are multiple theories out there, and a growing body of decades worth of research, supporting the idea that unless Christina begins to change her thinking, her life’s outlook may remain bleak and dismal. Barbara, however, is likely to experience more satisfying and fulfilling years ahead because she believes her life is filled with “challenges and opportunities,” rather than “struggles and obstacles” (same same, but different).

Where do you fall on the scale of optimism vs pessimism? Check out the UPenn site where they have all sorts of fun positive psychology tests (Optimism Test, Compassionate Love, Authentic Happiness Inventory to name a few) that might help you learn more about where you can grow, and where you’re already dropping into how awesome YOU and your life are.

Keep an eye out in April for my upcoming FREE teleseminar, “What the Hell Just Happened!? Adapting to Change.” I’ll probably change the title, but that sounded fun for now;) If you want to get on the wait list, let me know here and I’ll send you early registration (I will limit it to 20 people so we can interact during the call).

In the meantime, try a daily practice of waking up and practicing gratitude first thing in the morning (=before you even get out of bed, even before you open your eyes, or have sex). Its a great way to set the tone for your day’s mindset.

Note: Ana Neff is known as the Ziji™ Mentor. She helps individuals awaken their lives and personal success with confidence, clarity, and passion. Her monthly Ziji Up! eZine goes out to hundreds of subscribers. If you are ready to take your life and your world to the next level, you can learn more about her coaching programs and download her FREE Getting Clear Guide by visiting www.ZijiLife.com